What I did on last Friday

In hind sight, it was probably more appropriate to tell you this earlier, but here it goes.
On May 27th, I went to see my friend (Who for his own protection, and for the sake of him recognizing himself, we will call Ruric), I usually don’t visit him on weekends, but my other friend (Who we will be calling Loncrow) was also there. We went to Microplay and played a Warhammer game on computers. I forget what it was called, but I was the Elves. I’m always the Elves for some reason. I just like Elves, I guess.
Then we went back to Ruric’s house and we settled into a day of playing D&D, Gundam and Time Splitters. I would have to say that my favourite part was the D&D. I am still new at this, but I’m enjoying it so far. It’s a really addicting game. Ruric is the name of that person’s character. In case you are into D&D, our campaign is to find a lost Dwarven city called Guan Tylgrym. Our group is consisted of my characters Nai’Atha, A Half-Elf Sorcerer, Ralz’Chi’Ryn, A Nezumi Rouge created because our group didn’t have a rouge (For any D&D enthusiast, I know the Nezumi aren’t Faerun, but it’s my character so there), Hrisca, a Salamander Fighter (Loncrow’s character), Ruric Brewers, a Dwarven Cleric and Umpsh, a Half-orc Barbarian. When we left of, we were storming a wizard’s tower.
Anyway, I almost spent the night at Ruric’s but I couldn’t get settled so I went home, which is convenient, because it’s only a few blocks away.

Happy TIAH Anniversary's Eve

Well, tomorrow the Alternate History Academy will be having their first anniversary. It was little over a year ago the Academy opened up under Robert Taylor. Thru his research we have discovered several alternate time lines. Here is a list.

• The Mlosh timeline, split from our time in the 1700's when the Mlosh, an alien races that I understand look like silver skinned elves with tentacles for hair and antenna. This timeline has technology advanced beyond ours including space travel. The Alternate History Academy has released a text talking about the Human League, an anti-Mlosh terrorist organization in the 1800's called "Warp,"Information on this is sketchy, being that the information about it stops in 1910.
• The Greater Zionist Resistance Timeline This is a controversial timeline in origins. It may be that the authorities have covered up the fact that in 1969, Neo-nazis helped to finance a time machine to go back in time to create a real Jewish conspiracy. They were able to create a new timeline, but there Jewish conspiracy soon blossomed into the G.Z.R
• The Chinese Empire Timeline, In this timeline, the Monarchy of the Chinese Empire survived and gained control of most of the world. They have made contact with alien life and have atomic weaponry. Recently it has adopted democracy because of contact with the Chdo democracy.
• The Pete Best Timeline, is not that different from ours really. The main difference is that the Beatles (known as the Silver Beatles in that timeline) never really got of the ground. Pete Best, who used to drum for the Beatles was able to go on to great success. Other bands such as the Rolling Stones(Gathering Moss) and The Doors(The Presence) are also there.
• The Soviet States of America Timeline, this is a Communist America. It is very similar to this America, only it’s Communist. Apparently Karl Marx went over to the USA and a communist move kicked of. Walt Whitman was Comrade President. Richard Nixon has yet to comment, in any timeline.
• The Holy British Empire Timeline, The British Empire became a Catholic Theocracy and controlled practically all of the world. It has recently collapsed, because it became corrupted and the Resurrected Christ came. She is currently bringing a golden age to Earth.
• The Martian Invasion Timeline, In this one Marsians invade Earth. We win.
• The Dreamtime Timeline, In this one, Aborigines in Australia make contact with a giant space spider thing that gives them the ability of Space Travel. The contact with this one is kind of sketchy, and we don't here a lot about it much.
• The Speaker Timeline, this is about a secret society that began long ago in prehistoric times when Telka the Speaker decided to go to the Stars. It is considered that the information about this from a timeline where someone figured out that this was going on. So there could be members of Telka the Speaker reading this right know.
• Richard Tolman, a British Scientist who discovered the secrets of travelling across space, time and dimension. His taste in scarves is as of yet unknown. He is currently returned to his usual non-time travelling life.
• And Finally WWIII, this is basically the same as WWII, except Hitler is a guy called Ralph Shepard. Germany is America. Japan is South Africa. America is England. England is Egypt. The Soviet Union is China and it takes place around the 1980's. The events are the same daily, so I don’t know why everyone hasn’t clued in yet.

So, happy Anniversary This Day In Alternate History.

Ara-Do Mahmoud, A breif bio

Name: Ara-Do Mahmoud
Species: Jinn
Age: over 60'000 years
Occupation: Protector of Humanity, over the years has picked up numerous skills

Ara-Do began life in the Jinn revolution against God. During a disastrous first battle against God, the Jinn military was spread across the multiverse. Ara-Do, while not a major figure in the revolution was cursed to be the guardian of a new species called humans. Because of Ara-Do’s new duties he was given immortality as long as humanity exists.
Because of his immortality, Ara-Do soon developed an overly suicidal tendency. At one time he attempted to whip humanity out, but was unable to kill a single one. He eventually decided to hide out in a cave in Arabia. He remained their fore a century before he was met by a human wandering around in the desert. The man was the Prophet Muhammad. Ara-Do listened to Muhammad and soon converted to Islam. He began his duty to protect the human race.

Ara-Do Mahmoud began studying with martial arts and regular meditation. While he rarely got updates from God, he made attempts to make sure humanity from destroying itself or being destroyed from supernatural forces.

A Post Without Reason

Okay, I’m bored. I’m on a computer. I have nothing else to do, therefore I post.
I’ve finished my history essay and am now working on my English project. I posted the essay recently on my blog. It’s the one about Marc Garneau. There is your explanation.
Second, you may have noticed that I have redone my blog. I felt that there should be more of a change and am making it this one for a while. Godchecker will no longer be a regular feature, because it is to frustrating to get in. I will have links to fellow bloggers such as Steph, however. They shall remain.
Thirdly, My mom got me a very nice T-shirt that has one of the Apes from Planet of the Apes as Che Guevara. I like it very much. I’d give you a picture of it, but I have neither a digital camera nor the knowledge of how a picture of it on my blog.

Fourthly, Me and my dad may be going on a trip to Italy and Greece as a school trip. I may have figured out how to get pictures from a digital camera out then, so if I do go, you will be able to get pictures of myself. So people like Steph and Dan who have never seen me will be able. This is all depending on if I am able to scrap up enough money.
Nuts, that’s it. Bye.

Okay. Is Good.

Well, the weekend is going good. Some of my relatives came over and we had dinner all together. And today was relaxing enough, because we got some movies. This is a pretty short post, so anyways. I am okay.

What Am I Going To Do With The Rest of My Three Day Weekend?

I’m blogging for no reason other then to throw my mind into a sharp relief. I have no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my three-day weekend. The Book Vault is closed, so I can’t there. I’ve already gone to the Library, so I can’t do that again. I was hoping we could go see Revenge of the Sith and possibly go to Chapters, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. So at the moment the only thing I can do is blog.
I just ran out of ideas. Oh, hum. I’ll tell you how my three-day weekend went on Monday or something.

Will I’m blogging, I might as well tell you that the Alternate Historian, Robbie Taylor is having another poll at althistory.blogspot.com. This one is about the direction that this Day in Alternate History will be taking. You can either keep it the way it is now, go with the novels, or go for the monthly e-magazine. Personally, I would like to go with Monthly Magazine because I can get some things published in it, so here it goes.

VOTE FOR MONTHLY MAGAZINE AT ALTHISTORY.BLOGPOT.COM

Not All Men Are Like This, Especially Me

This, I don't know for sure what it is, was on Steph's blog and I found it insulting. Anything in bold do not apply to me. The ones in italics have never come up.

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. (No one owns our garage, we just keep stuff in it)
Wedding plans takecare of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. (This is because I am Canadian and have Prime Ministers)
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress$5,000...Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or otherwise mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suit case.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips. (I am very skinny)
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can"do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Looking at this I realize that women can do most of this stuff. Hmm? This looks like a conspiracy

My Opinion On Christians Who Believe That There Is an Anti-Christian Conspiracy And A Bit On This Little Island Called Earth

I was reading an article by Dan, who was complaining about how Christians are complaining about worldwide conspiracies about waking off Christianity. First, I can only think of some historical attempts to get ride of Christianity(i.e., Nero) and those were barely a conspiracy to get ride of Christians and Second, It’s highly unlikely that there is a group of Liberals who are trying to knock off Christianity.

I do not deny that there is anti-Christian sentiment in the world today. At my school, one of my classmates (who will remain nameless, because any Catholic who reads this is going to be madder then a hog in a hornet’s nest) said that "I’m glad the Pope is dead. He said he would rather all those people in Africa die of AIDS rather then use birth-control." I’m not Catholic, but I ended up defending Pope John Paul II, since nobody else would.

I have noticed that some people at my school believe that religion is causing more good then evil. I disagree with this, because it’s our primitive, tribal behaviour that is causing all the trouble. Humanity’s tribal behaviour is sneaking into religion, which is why practically all religions are bickering about how they are the right one. This is brought to the fore-front in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic religions. Look at Judaism, Christianity and Islam and you’ll see they are all convinced they are the right ones. This has caused all kinds of terrible atrocities in human history, which I believe is unnecessary and just shows how stupid humans can be.

What really bugs me about Religions like Christianity is their relentless desire to convert "more primitive" cultures. There is a quote by Herman Melville that I really like. Here it is...

Are there no Moravians in the Moon, that not a missionary has yet visited this poor pagan planet of ours, to civilize civilization and christianize Christendom? Herman Melville

I like this quote because Herman Melville is basically saying that we may think of ourselves as the greatest thing since sliced bread, but there are more advanced civilizations out their who will look on Jesus Christ the same way the Spanish looked at Quetzecoatl. The following is a little bit of Alavallan wisdom.

There is always someone with a better ship then yours, there is always someone with better technology then you. No matter how fast you develop, there is always someone smarter then you. Amaj’El, an Alavallan Philosopher.

The World According To Ralph: !Xe, the Spatially Displaced Bushman

Hello, Humanity
Maybe it’s the fact my reality is based on Writer’s imagination, but all the crazies seem to come to use. First was Naous, the Roswell Alien and avatar of Shiva, and Djidjo, a genetically altered roma (gypsy). Then Charlie Chaplin, who seems relatively harmless and now we got something even stranger.
See, While Writer was walking back to school, he saw this Bushman walking about. Now Bushmen are these people from South Africa who have stayed at a really primitive level for a long time, so long that they are still in the twig age for the most part. I’ll set up a link here to a web site about bushmen. Anyway, we find this half-naked Bushman walking around who’s never seen white people and can’t speak English. Naous, for some reason, can speak Bushmen so we were able to understand him. Turns out he has no idea how he got here and was experiencing a large amount of culture shock. Says his name is !Xe. He’s currently living with Naous and Djidjo, who are getting a long with him just fine.
I find !Xe a nice guy, even if his name is a little hard to purnounce. He seems like a nice enough guy and is pretty bright. Naous is trying to teach him English, so he can communicate with us. He’s currently picked-up North American clothing by Naous’ standard. It’s hilarious. He’s wearing one of Naous’ old Led Zeppelin T-shirts.
Anyway, This is Ralph, signing off.

Marc Garneau, The First Canadian In Space (an essay)

Would you feel important if you were the first Canadian selected to go into space? Marc Garneau probably felt like that when he stepped onto the Challenger in 1984. Marc Garneau is important to Canada because he was the first Canadian in space. Marc Garneau’s life before being selected as an astronaut, then being selected to go into space and the missions he would go on later in life are all important parts of him becoming the first Canadian in space.

Marc Garneau was born in February 23, 1949 in Quebec City. He was a family man who is married with four children. Before becoming an astronaut, he worked as a combat systems engineer in the navy. Marc was also an instructor for the naval weapons instructor. He retired from the navy in 1989 to work full time in the space program, despite his wife’s original comment of “I can’t imagine you as an astronaut,”(Canada in Space 43). Marc Garneau’s life and career in the navy, prior to becoming an astronaut was important for him being selected to go into space.

One cannot become an astronaut overnight. Marc Garneau would describe signing up for his career as an astronaut as “just fate. I saw a career ad for Canadian astronauts in the paper. If I had taken my holiday in July, I never would have applied,”(43) Marc Garneau had to meet stringent medical requirements. His flying experience and being bilingual was an asset. Once he met those requirements, he would become an employee of the NRC for up to three years. Marc was picked as one of six from 4'000 Canadians to go to the Canadian Astronaut Program (CAP) in 1983. He started his astronaut training on February 19, 1984. This was the beginning of him becoming the first Canadian in space.

In total Marc Garneau went on three missions. His first mission was at 5:01 AM EDT, October 5, 1984 and he helped work on experiments. He spent eight days in space and completed one hundred and thirty-three orbits (over 3.4 million miles). Garneau ,during a presentation of the mission said “I had a ball,”(36). On his second mission, in 1996, he helped deploy the Spartan satellite and small satellite test units. His third mission involved using the Canadarm to install the first set of solar arrays. During the mission he preformed three space walks and delivered equipment and supplies to the space station’s first crew. These missions helped Canada to carve out a place in the world of interstellar travel.

In conclusion, Marc Garneau, while not a Canadian household name, is probably one of the most important Canadians in the 20th century. His previous jobs in the navy and training from CAP helped him become an astronaut and go on three missions. He would later become the first Canadian in space. Because of this, Marc Garneau is a real Canadian hero.

Arghhhhhh, I got the Stupid Gobber Song in My head

Anyone remember my little sister Sprite? Little girl, we play imaginary adventures together sometimes. Well she was playing a game on the Internet for the Spongebob movie, and there was this mini game with this song so annoying that I’ve got it stuck in my head. I fear even the power of Bohemian Rhapsody will be of no effect.

Sometimes I feel like my relationship with my little sister is deteriorating. This probably sounds crazy to you readers, but I like playing my imaginary games with someone else. She just wants to play as another character and that bugs me, kind of.

Well, I’ve got to get the Goober song out of my head. Bye.

A Public Service Announcement

In recent posts and exploration of the net, I have discovered that there are people besides my family members, Steph and friends I visit on the weekends who read this blog. Hello, were ever you are. Please tell me your reading this blog by commenting. I would really appreciate it.

The Time Machine Triology P1: The Time Traveller's Device

(Inspired by the work of H.G. Wells)

Gentlemen
Please take your seats
Here I have gathered you
The scientific elites
To witness the most grand of feats

For years I have studied the nature of time
And while drinking my tea, seasoned with thyme
I came up with the answer, conclusion, therefor
What we call time is dimension number four
We move thru time as we do through space
And I thought to myself, well if that’s the case
I could construct a device
Construct myself a device that can
Travel. Through. Time

You don’t believe me
I can see how that can be
Just a minute. Let me see
I built a prototype that can
Travel through time. That’s the plan
Eventually I’ll build one to carry a man
Now just leave it alone on the tray
I pull the switch, it fades away
Into the middle of next Thursday

Now you may go back to your homes
There are things I must attend to.

The working plot of Mythania 1

On my last post, Steph asked what the plot to the Mythania novel is. Well, I have thought about this novel for awhile, and this is how I see the plot so far.

Mythania is a world similar to Tolkein’s Middle Earth, but I have taken elements from Frank Herbert’s Dune series and the species are not what you would traditionally find in a fantasy universe. I used to have Elves and Dwarves and talking animals in Mythania, but I got rid of them because they clashed with some of the created species I made up, like the draan.

I believe that the creatures in Mythania are inspired more by Farscape then anything else. I love the premise of Farscape. Also, I have noticed that creating species in fantasy seems to be a large no-no in the fantasy genre. There are a few examples, but for the most part you just have the species layed down by Tolkein, and there is no reason to use different species. Some may say that some of the species are derived from other sources, and I can say that they probably, and in some cases are.

And now to the plot.

The story starts three thousand years before the main events during the story. The draan (who are the equivalent of Tolkein’s Elves) and the ragondra (my concept of evil embodied), are preparing for the final battle. The draan are able to banish the ragondra into another continuum and leave the mainland.

More than Three thousand years later, the Aethyran Ocean, a large inland sea that was once ruled over by the draan, is split into four major powers. The Talortreal Confederacy(a race of beings that look identical to humans, and were the former soldiers of the draan) and the Hurgolanimm Alliance ( An alliance between the Tawazee and the Elayren species) inhabits the north. In the West live the corrupt Amoran Empire (Run by the Cronullaban, who are descended from the draan, but distantly). In the East and South are the Korling (A species of the same stock as the Draan and Cronullaban).
The Amoran Empire is preparing a final attack on the Korling, who are the only thing keeping them from the conquest of the Talortreal Confederacy and the Hurgolanimm Alliance.

Beyond the mountain ranges of the Confederacy, however, is the city state of New Babylon. The inhabitants are the Dylisanite, a race of humanoids created from the genetic stock of a now extinct species called h’mans (Yes, I put humans in Mythania. But they’re extinct by this time) and with added genetic material from the draan and talortreal. Each Dylisanite poses both genetic memories going back to the times before the draan species and mental abilities equal to that of the draan and ragondra. The Dylisanite are only vaguely aware of what is going on beyond their homeland, but fear what would happen if the other worlds discovered them, so they remain in hiding. The Dylisanite are positive that they did not evolve naturally and they wonder greatly on where they came from.

Meanwhile, the ragondra escape from their extra-dimensional prison. However, only a few months have gone by in their prison and they find themselves in a new environment, without the draan to destroy them. They begin undermining the governments of the Aethyran Ocean. However, they soon find this difficult to do accomplish because of the fact a secret war is being raged against them by an organization only known as the Doradane.

Alexander and Raphech discover that this is going on, and begin a desperate quest to find the draan. Florana remains in the Athyran Ocean with allies from major religions to begin a holy war against the ragondra, who are becoming a growing force behind the Amoran Empire.

As the story goes on, Alexander learns of his species relationship with the Doradane and their creation and a great deal about himself.

That is the story basically. I hope on making Mythania a series, and I truly believe that this story is going to be placed on the same lines as Lord of the Rings and Dune.

Contemplating my Future Career as a Writer

While I was walking home from school today, talking to Ralph and eating M&Ms. I decided that I want to write about superheros. I don’t want to use the word superhero, mind you. I just want to write about superhero-like environments. I guess Naous is kind of like a superhero, but I really consider him kind of a cross between Doctor Who, Indiana Jones and a Hindu Mystic.
I do have a basic idea for an environment for superhero characters. It’s a 20th century time period that mixes elements of the world’s religions. I basically have two ideas for characters. The first is the superhero character, Ara’Do Muhammad. Ara’Do Muhammad is a jinn who was cursed with immortality and forced to protect humanity from various threats. The other is an idea that I’ve been tossing around about putting the founders of the world’s major religions together, so I’m putting people like Jesus Christ, The Prophet Muhammad, Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, Krishna, Moses, Confucius and other important religious figures in different eras. I don’t intend on giving them any powers, they’re just their for story ideas.

Maybe I should try my hand at writing superhero comics. Maybe I should sign on with Marvel. I like Marvel Superheros more then DC ones for some reason. I don’t know why, I’m probably more familiar with them because of the movies. But I’d like to come up with my own. I guess I could do an original thing and make independent comics. If I am going to make comics, I think I’ll alternate between Marvel and my own thing.
And if your all wondering "What? He’s going to do comics? Why would he do comics?" I have this to say to you, Ahem.

Neil Gaiman.

Also, I am working on a novel. Yes, I haven’t gotten anything published as of yet, so I shouldn’t be doing something as ambitious as a novel. But this isn’t just any novel. This is the first book in the Mythania Chronicles, taking place in a world that I am in a constant state of creation with. I’ll work on this novel for a few years until I get it right and in the mean time publish short stories and maybe a few shorter novels from my other universes.

Having Aspergers Syndrome is like being the Incredible Hulk

One of the things about having Aspergers Syndrome is that I occasionally (okay, that’s probably an exaggeration) make strange noises when I am experience intense emotion, which for me is just about anything. I also make large, I don’t know what to call them, spasms with my body. Nothing like a seizure, I just move my arms and squeal. It is because of this that I believe Aspergers Syndrome is like being the Incredible Hulk. I have also had outbursts during grades 7 and 8, but I’ve got that under control.

And just for the heck of it. Here is some Incredible Hulk Links

• The Hulk's Blog I kid you not. Looks like the Incredible Hulk has an internet diary. Check it out.
• The Diffinitive Information on The Hulk This is a good sit for anything about the Incredible Hulk
• The Marvel Website The People who do the Hulk comics. The subscription looks very tempting.

And know a quote from the Simpsons. More or less. I got the basic joke down.

"He’s not the Incredible Hulk. I’m the Incredible Hulk. Uh, uhhhhhh. Come on damn it ,change. Uhhh. I did it once,"
"Yes, If only you had the power to leave my store,".
-Stan Lee and Comic Book Guy

My English Project

I’m having some emotional difficulty with my English project. I believe I talked about it in an earlier post. I decided to go along with enlightenment, because I had something to go along with. Then my educational assistant comes along and ruins all the fun. Just because I use the word enlightenment, she believes we should go along with Buddhist themes. I’m okay with Buddhism, but using Buddhist references are to obvious. I want to do stuff about the Gnostic Christians or The Matrix. God, that woman can just drive the fun out of anything.

Aspergers Syndrome Links

To put more on Aspergers Syndrome on my blog. I am making this list of web sites dealing with Aspergers Syndrome.

• The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy has this and this (from someone with AS) on the subject of Aspergers Syndrome.
• Aspergia is a pretty weird site, and has a bit about an ancient civilization made up of people with Aspergers Syndrome. Don’t act to much like a norm (my word for a non-aspie). I don’t think that anything weird will happen if you do, but you can’t be too careful.
• Mozart and the Whale is an upcoming romantic comedy about two people with Aspergers Syndrome who fall in love. I’m just glad they made it as a romantic comedy because I can’t see it being something like the Titanic. I mean, two Aspies trying to have a romantic relationship?!, that’s hilarious.
• A List of Famous People With Autism This isn't the best list, because some of the bios are unaccounted for, but it gives you and idea of famous people with Aspergers Syndrome.
  

A Bit On Aspergers Syndrome and The Aspie Diaries

I’m worried that this blog isn’t dealing with enough Aspergers themes. For the most part it exists so that I can have a creative format to put in writing and a way to post up poetry and parodies. I haven’t really made any posts about Aspergers Syndrome since January. This bothers me. I wanted this to be a site dealing with Aspergers Syndrome.
Why not write about my experiences with Aspergers Syndrome. Well, I don’t know what my experiences are in Aspergers Syndrome. I know no other way of thinking. That’s why I believe I have difficulty explaining Aspergers Syndrome to people. I know no other way of thinking.
So what am I going to do? Well, quite frankly I don’t know yet. I guess I could look up web sites of people with Aspergers Syndrome and put links on them. If I ever go back to the group of other people with Aspergers Syndrome I used to go to, I could talk about that. Also, one of my Uncles has a kid at the school he works at with Aspergers Syndrome who he says he could introduce me.

Communist Smurfs

Once, as a joke, I made up an imaginary scenario were Ralph was trying to figure out if Smurfs were communists. He managed to incite a bit of conflict by kidnapping their Leader, and we ended up starting a year-long conflict which was ended when Ralph finally agreeing to stop catching the Smurfs.
The Communist Smurfs I imagined are unknown to use as of yet in society, but they have domesticated crows which they used to attack Ralph and me. Their style is an ineffective Kamikaze charge (which we later discovered was because they were just lousy pilots). Because of construction near their village, they are moving in with us.
I decided to do a search on Communist Smurfs and I discovered that there is over four thousand sites. I was not aware of this, so I’m posting links to some of the web sites.

• Smurf’s Communist Leanings are two essays that deal with Smurf Communism. I found this one a bit of a joke and was probably written by some American who was brainwashed to believe that communism is inherently evil.
• Socio-Political Smurfs is an essay dealing with not only Marxist Smurf theories, but feminism and homosexuality in the cartoon. I liked this one better.
• The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy has this to say on the subject of Smurfs.

The World According To Ralph: My existence, I need a beer

Hello Humanity
I’ve been contemplating my existence recently. I have a bizarre one, that’s to be said. On the one hand, I have a life in Mythania. I am over two thousand and have gone thru twenty-three wives. I’ve seen the fall of empires and the birth of gods. On the other hand, I’m an over developed figment of some kid’s imagination, along with the kids previous hand. Sometimes, such as know, I feel that I am just some kids imaginary friend and that kind of makes me feel weird inside, because these are really major questions. Quite frankly, philosophy isn’t my strong suit, so I don’t like thinking about the big questions.
Course, I’m familiar with philosophy. I am over two thousand years, you usually read a lot. Perxesians believe reality is an illusion because some jerk screwed over the universe. Riulatrians believe that what we call reality is just another stage of the great celestial equivalent of genetic memory. Tawazee Religion believes that reality is an illusion that is to be overcome. However, looking in the face of this illusion. I don’t know if I can triumph over it.
The only joy I get out of this whole thought is that all you guys could just as well be a figment of somebody’s imagination, so either way were on the same boat.
This is Ralph, signing off.

Assignment after Assignment

If I didn’t have a resource period every day, I would be swamped. I’ve just completed my careers assignment, just barely, and I have a history and English project. The history project looks like it’s going to go good. I have to write a thesis, which shouldn’t be too hard. I’ve got the thesis statement, so the rest will just come out. English looks like it’s going to be the most fun. I’ve got to do a thing on a human emotion. I have two ideas so far, something dealing with human tribalism and Enlightenment. I may do both, Enlightenment as the school one and Tribalism as a personal project.

Anyways, I went to see "As You Like It," at the Stratford Festival with my mom. It was a good play and I recommend it. For any hard core Shakspere fans, the setting is in the sixties and the Barenaked Ladies do the music. I liked the character Jacques, because he reminded me of Marvin the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, since he was always depressed. I also liked his coat, which was of the same design as the one’s the Beatles used on the cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and I would like to know were I could find one.

My family members have been joking about how they would like a window in my mind like in the movie "Being John Malkovic," (I’m sorry if I’m not spelling this right). One of them said that was what this blog is like.

The Enayon Brotherhood

The enayon are the creations of the ancient Khon Engineers. Originally designed as a collective, the enayon destroyed the Khon Engineers and began a conquest of the galaxy. The Enayon Collective was cut short by the Galestrael Empire when they created a computer virus that split the Enayon Collective into various personifications, that began fighting amongst themselves.
Today, the Enayon population is at little over 500'000. They have stolen technology from whatever they can find including the Khon Engineers, the Galestrael Empire and the Alavallan Clans. The enayon have evolved technologically to the point were they have powers similar to that of gods. The enayon do need a lot of mental stimulation, and usually get it by making war against each other. The military is made up of species that they have encountered and have found useful. The main species in their military are humans.

The enayon encountered humanity after the alavallan. The enayon were impressed by humanity’s capacity for violence and took a few and began immediate breeding for their own benefits. The alavallan were angered by the enayon’s actions and began the Enayon Containment, destroying the 50 enayon empires. What is know the Enayon Territories are only a fifth of what it used to be.

The enayon encountered humanity after the alavallan. The enayon were impressed by humanity’s capacity for violence and took a few and began immediate breeding for their own benefits. The alavallan were angered by the enayon’s actions and began the Enayon Containment, destroying the 50 enayon empires. What is now the Enayon Territories are only a fifth of what it used to be.

The Brotherhood is currently facing social upheaval, beyond anything it has ever gone thru before. The Aethean Resistance, a race of enayon-human hybrids used to make enayon "games" more fun. Also, the Enayon are facing the combined forces of the Katorcasian Federation and the ever-expanding Human Diaspora. The Diaspora is probably the greatest threat to the Enayon Brotherhood. Seven Enayon Empires have been crushed just in the tidal wave of humanity.

The Bloody Hamster Dance, Napolean Dynamite shirts and a Test I did

I went to see my cousin’s play yesterday. It was really two plays and he was only in the last one, but they were pretty good plays.
The first, Percival the Preforming Pig was about a pig that can sing Opera. It was a funny play, because they didn’t have any scenery and they had to get people to be the scenery. Also, they had a several scene’s with a song that was later identified as "The Hamster Dance," . My response to this is "Hamster Dance. It was the bloody Hamster Dance," . Up until this point, I had never heard the Hamster Dance. I think it was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.
The second play was called "How To Eat Like A Child," and had many useful advice on how to be a child. The how to beg for a dog scene was okay, but I liked the how to torture your sister bit. This one was the one with my cousin, and he did a lot of prank phone calls. In one of them, he asked KFC, how big their breasts are. As a joke, we gave him KFC breasts.Did you know that they are making Napoleon Dynamite shirts. Here is a list of the logos.

• Vote For Pedro
• Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!
• Rex Kwon Do. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.
• ‘82. Back in 82, I could through a pigskin a quarter mile
• Alaskan Wolverine Hunting. A fricken’ 12 gauge what do you think?
• I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that ‘cause you think your fat? Cause’ you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
• Don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.
• I caught you a delicious bass.
• Who’s the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government!?
• Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state
• You wanna play me?
• Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Nunchuck skills, Bowhunting skills, Computer hacking skills.
  

I dare anyone to say who said these lines and in what event.

To conclude, I did a test at www.icpac.indiana.edu/surveys.cgi It gave me a list of things that would be a good career choice for me. This is the list.

• Actor
• Advertising Manager
• Announcer
• Architect
• Art Director
• Camera Operator
• Cartoonist and Animator
• Choreographer
• Composer and Music Arranger
• Costume and Wardrobe Specialist
• Dancer
• Editor
• Fashion Designer
• Film and Video Editor
• Fine Artist
• Floral Designer
• Graphic Designer
• Interpreter and Translator
• Landscape Architect
• Librarian
• Merchandise Displayer
• Model
• Museum Technician and Conservator
• Musician and Music Directors
• News Reporter
• Photographer
• Producer and Director
• Professional Makeup Artist
• Set and Exhibit Designer
• Singer
• Sketch Artist
• Technical Writer
• Writer

I'm Overworked, An Island Republic is planned and Ralph's Dead "Parrot,"

How the heck am I supposed to get all this homework done today. Okay, so I am probably over exaggerating the situation. I can probably get it done today, but it is driving me crazy. Me and the guys have done some talk and we have discussed our options. I changed my name to the identity I use for the blog, partially for my own safety, but partially so my Grandma doesn't have a heart attack while reading this.

Ralph: Hello Writer, how are you.
Me: We're moving to India.
Ralph: What?
Me: In India, I will convert to Hinduism. Become a yogi and I WON'T HAVE TO DO CAREERS HOMEWORK.
Ralph: Isn't that a little extreme. You were sick for two days.
Me: Stop siding with my educational assistant. I hate it when you do that.
Ralph: Well stop wining. We don't have the money to go to India.
Naous: Hello guys.
Ralph: Hey Naous.
Naous: What's with Writer.
Ralph: He's got three hours of homework.
Me: And with my ability to concentrate it will be twice as long, so I will be up until Eleven.
Ralph: Stop it, it's silly.
Me: Oh give it a rest with the Monty Python skits. Math class is over.
(Ralph pauses, then rises a little purse and takes of in an old lady out fit)
Ralph: HELL'S GRANNIES
Naous: What's with Ralph this time.
Me: At the end of math class I said that I don't see how factoring will help me in the long run. Then my math teacher Mr. Armstrong said that I was just being discriminatory about math because he thinks Latin won't affect me as much. It was very surreal and said it was like being in a Monty Python skit. Ralph has been of on a rant all day. Look in my locker.
Naous: What is it?
Me: It's a log.
Naous: Why is it nailed to a bar in a parrot cage. Ohhh, It's supposed to be a...
Me: Yes
Naous: Well he got the basic idea. You think he will go far?
Me: No, he's wearing high heals.
Naous: So, you have homework, huh.
Me: Yes
Naous: Well, it's not that much. You can handle this.
(Ralph returns)
Ralph: You know I never wanted to be a granny.
Naous: Well, I hate to break your illusion but...
Ralph: I wanted to be, a Lumberjack.
Me: Oh God.
Ralph: Leaping from Tree to Tree. With my best buddy at my side, We'd sing, sing, sing.

(Ralph starts singing something to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson,")

Ohhhhhhhhhh
Cheers to you, Spider Robinson
Know how 'bout you buy us another round
Ow, ow, ound
Pikachu, Walrus and Carpenter
Seahorses and Bunnies are at play
hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey

Naous: What the heck was that?
Ralph: Pardon?
Naous: Weren't you going to sing the Lumberjack Song?
Ralph: I can't remember the words.
Me: Well those weren't the lyrics to Mrs. Robinson, either.
(Pause)
Ralph: I have a dead parrot in Writer's locker, I can go...
Naous: Seen it, it was a log.
(Ralph sighs)
Me: We should move to an island.
Ralph: What?
Me: An island. Were no one will ever bug me again.
(Pause)
Ralph: I have $3.62, two buttons and a paperclip. How much do you guys have?
Naous: I'm a holy man. I'm not supposed to have money.
Me: negative eight dollars.
(Pause)
Ralph: See, I don't think that's enough.
Me: Well, we find an island that dosn't have anybody their, and move in.
(Pause)
Me: It will have to have lobsters, we can eat lobster every night.
Ralph: How many people will be coming?
Me: Well, there's you two.
Naous: Djidjo will have to come.
Me: Okay, four.
Ralph: I may have a girlfriend.
Naous: Five, oh and will have to bring Charlie with us.
Me: Six
Naous: And I just got a cow.
Ralph: Pardon?
Naous: Well, I am an avatar of the Hindu god Shiva. I figured I might as well get one. It keeps the pilgrims happy. Want to take a picture of me and the cow? That sort of thing?
Ralph: They take pictures?
Naous: Not really, they can't afford camera's, but you get the idea.
Me: Okay, Seven.
Ralph: What if Daina and Kaylynn want to tag along?
Me: I'm okay with them, but they'll have to drop back on the priestesses and entourage. Preferably none, we don't want many people there, that's the point.

Ralph: What about all those gods we know?

Me: Well, they can come too. Most of them are so powerless know they have stopped being jerks

That is basically what happened yesterday. Sorry posting this blog took so long.

The Hitchhiker's Movie

Well, it took some convincing of my parents, but I was able to get to see the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy movie. I would say that it was good for what it was, and I’m glad it wasn’t a complete insult to the book. It was disappointing in some places, but the jokes were good. I especially liked the Dolphin song and the references to the British series (i.e., the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy theme from the series, TV Marvin’s cameo). The actors who played the characters did them very well, in my opinion. I also liked that Jim Henson Creature Shop did most of the aliens. I’m a big fan of Farscape, and they did the aliens from that.

This is a public service announcement

You may have noticed that I put up something new on my web site. Well, that’s from a web site called Godchecker which deals with gods and their ilk. This little gold box feature a different deity every day. You can check it out any time you want. I put it up because I thought it was cool. Thank you for reading this.