The New Blog Is Up

Hey everybody, I thought I'd tell you I have the new blog set up. I'm calling it SOLVE ET COAGULA and I hope it will be the start of a renewal in my blogging and hopefully allow me to re-evaluate my life.

Here's the link, hope you enjoy.

Could this be the end of The Aspie Diaries?

Very probably.

I am very tempted to just go on about how shitty I feel at the moment, and despite the fact it's almost Christmas I'm not feeling alot of that cheer. I have been working on my final exam, the one for the Jesus class and it has largely been driving me nuts. Or more likely not getting enough time to write it has been driving me nuts. Much worse is that my sleep patterns are off, my schedule is a mess and I'm not blogging as much as I should.
Which brings me to what I was thinking about doing for awhile, starting a new blog. I'm not the same person I was when I started writing this thing, and to be honest most of this blog feels like dead weight to me. Maybe a new refreshing blog is just what I need right now.
So for the next few days I'll be getting this stupid paper done and coming up with a new blog to replace "the Aspie Diaries." I'll still keep this blog up and officially my last post will be an announcement that the new blog is up and running. I hope that this new blog will help me rediscover my passion for internet journalism.

Fun with Alternate History

I joined the Alternate History Discussion Group yesterday and so far I've put forth two alternate time lines. One, Hermetic studies remain a legitimate field of study that is not just limited to New Agers and Fringe people. The Second, Howard Philips Lovecraft assassinates President Calvin Coolidge. These are both for my amusement. The Hermetic one is more thought out, as I wanted to write a novel that would basically be something like William Gibson if William Gibson had worked under Numerology and Kabbalah. I call it Hermetpunk, or maybe Occultpunk. I prefer Hermetpunk.
I seem to be getting more and more into science fiction again. Ever since I started reading Philip K. Dick I thought, I should read some more science fiction. I feel like I'm getting back to my roots again. I'm also coming up with sort of science fiction stories, which I may go into at some point. Probably not though.
Also, update on the alternate history. The Lovecraft assassinating Calvin Coolidge turned into Lovecraft attempting to assassinate Coolidge and failing horribly. So far all it's done is eliminate the Cthulhu Mythos from the time line, and probably keep Coolidge from making any more public appearances for awhile. Which he didn't do much of anyways.
That's it for now. Bye.

The Aspie Diaries 2: Return of the Aspie Diaries

Hey everybody, I'm back. Let's hope I can get back in the swing of things.

So, new news. Exam season is but a few days away. I have two take homes (both in RS), and one regular (my English Lit class). I feel very good about myself concerning these and feel that I can take at least one day off after that. Once the weekend is done I'm going to have to sit down and get to work on my Kabbalah take-home. I have to write three papers all of which should be three pages. I won't go into that anymore on this though. Mom, if your reading this and we haven't talked we will.
This was an alright term as Religious Studies go. Both were fields that I was interested in and I enjoyed the teachers. The English class was so so. It was necessary for an English major, but a bit dull. It was kind of like my trip to Italy, were we basically had to rush everywhere so we could see all the spots. Survey of British Literature Part 1 was like that. I sense Survey of British Literature 2 will be like that as well. At least we'll be getting into the Romantics and Modernism in that one. Medieval Literature was kind of interesting, and I think that may be my favorite part of the class, except for maybe John Donne and most stuff dealing with Courtly Love. I read a bit about Courtly Love, or some form of it, in an R.U. Sirius book on Counterculture before I even knew who R.U. Sirius was. I found the aesthetic kind of cool. Seems kind of artificial in the course material, especially stuff about Philip Sydney. But I'm rambling on in English major talk so I'll stop. Maybe I'll go into it again at some point.
As some of you may notice, I have grown a beard. I have officially decided to let my hair grow out again and this time I'm doing my beard as well. I'm going to try this look out for awhile while I'm at University. I may need to loose it to get a job, or maybe I can try the starving artist thing for awhile and see where that gets me.
Spiritually I'm no farther then I thought I'd started out at, or maybe I'm not. I've officially read all the gospels, in some cases twice and plan on going over them again. I also feel that I have a much better foot on Kaballah, particularly Jewish Kabbalah. I also know that most Jewish Kabbalists are probably damn pissed off at Gentiles such as myself and Pico della Mirandola and Eliphas Levi messing around with it. I also know they probably aren't going to do anything because A) It's been going on since the Reinsurance and B) the Jewish people basically want to be left alone and will return the favor, especially if there Hasidim. (This is what my Professor said and he's Jewish and a Jewish Studies Professor so he would know). I still wouldn't go as far to call myself a Kabbalist of any stripe, and I may not be. I still plan on doing a lot of reading on Kabbalah.
Finally, Alan Moore has an independent zine. Yes, that's right, Alan "Greatest-Comic-Book-Writer-Alive-Today-Who-Is-Also-A-Wizard" Moore is running an independent zine. It's called Dodgem Logic and they gave me a free CD, which they will give to you as well. I can't make a link on this page, but if you go to www.dodgemlogic.com, you can see all the stuff Alan Moore and his friends are up to. You have to buy a copy of the magazine though, which I will probably do at some point. I don't think it's the kind of thing I'd ask my parents to buy for me for Christmas. Besides, it's only...okay I'm not sure. But I'll probably buy an issue after Christmas, or try too. My job options aren't looking pretty good at this point.
Well, that's basically part of what's happening. I'll update you on some other things as time goes buy.

Lady Gaga: Is She a Zeitgeist or Something? What's the Deal?

I want Lady GaGa to find religion. Not because I fear for her soul in anyway, I just want her to join some wacky religion like Thelema or something so that her aesthetic can get a bit more organic.

Since she came out of God knows where Lady GaGa has been a peripheral interest of mine. I don't go after any tabloid stuff to see what she's up to, but if there's an article about what she's doing at the moment readily available to me I'll check it out. I'm haven't really heard much of her music and I'm not really sure if that's the point. Her music videos and whole persona is what I find really interesting. It takes a certain, I'm not going to say balls, it takes a certain guts to do the kind of crazy shit she does and make money of it. I am also going to go out and say that Lady GaGa is a sort of poster girl for a lot of what is wrong with our society. She is the embodiment of a plastic disposable sexuality that I see as largely empty. The difference with most other pop stars is that she seems to be aware of this and is taking pop to it's logical conclusion. She's is also Madonna's true spiritual offspring. Since nobody is really going to be shocked by overt sexual and religious imagery being juxtaposed anymore, Lady GaGa is basically free to do whatever crazy shit she feels like.
But again, I seriously think Lady GaGa should find religion at somepoint. Preferably something with incredibly vague and complex symbols. Let's all cross are fingers. If we wish hard enough, she may become an Alchemist.

The Ideal Apartement

1. The Neighborhood should be inexpensive, but safe. I like the idea of living in a building with a lot of other artists but this seems to much like an idea that Hollywood has sold me. Either way it shouldn't be to gentrified.
   
2. I'd like to live in an urban area, and I'd like to have windows to look over the street so I could watch people go by.
3. I should be within walking distance to the following. A grocery store, my place of work, an independently owned cafe, one or more bookstores (preferably one that deals with new releases and one that is used), one movie rental place that specializes in independent releases and has a good foreign films selection.
4. The apartment does not need to be large.
5. The apartment should not be dirty. It should not have rats or cockroaches.
6. The apartment should have a lot of room for books.
7. The apartment should have the following rooms. A bedroom. A bathroom. A living room. A kitchen/dinning room. It may also have a room totally devoted to books and my writing, but this is not completely necessary.
   
8. I will have begun to develop a music system that isn't totally dependent on Itunes. I will have a vinyl system and a collection of vinyl.
9. I will have a cat.
   
10. I will leave as small a carbon footprint as possible. This may be hard, as I'm running a minifridge, an Ipod dock, a lamp and a fan at the moment.
11. I'll have various foreign artifacts, such as African masks, Persian rugs, Tibetan Murals, statues of Buddhas and certain Hindu gods, a few Celtic and Mennonite artifacts to celebrate my heritage, and posters of artists I like, i.e. posters for concerts, the odd psychedelic thing...alright that's about it. I'll probably buy some from artists I like. Don't expect much high art though.
12. I don't know if I'll develop much of a movie collection. I've thought about it, but mostly I just like to rent movies. If I want a movie, I'll rent it. If the library has it I'll get it from them. I do have a DVD player that is pretty portable. I like using that, so I'll rent movies (see 3)
13. I'll probably have a phone.
14. I'd have really good cooking skills. I know that this isn't dependent on an apartment, but my kitchen would have a good supply of food and I'd make really good meals.
15. I don't know what it would be I'd do. I'm not sure I can write as a career, because my writing mentor has talked me out of it. I'm going to have to look around in the job market for awhile until I can find something that fits.
16. I'm still thinking about the ex patriot thing. Odds are this will be somewhere in Canada. The vast majority of my friends are in Canada, so I'll be staying here in all likelihood.
    

Blog Vacation

I haven't been blogging recently. To be honest I don't really see much of a reason to. I'm not saying I'm abandoning my blog, but I'm not going to be writing for a while. I don't know how long exactly but blogging is not something that is taking up much of my time these days. I might start in the new year, but otherwise I don't feel I have anything to say on my blog.

End of the World Scenarios

I finished the first draft of my essay last night. I think I can do better on it, but I'm taking a break and will get back to it tonight. Anyways, I'm back home for Thanksgiving and look forward to much turkey and stuffing. In other news SCIENCE WILL DESTROY US ALL!
Yeah, you heard me. Science is going to destroy us all. Look what I found on Stumbleupon. Yeah, that's right. The top five ways science can kill us all, and recreating the Big Bang is not even the top one. A lot of this has to do with something called the Large Hadron Collider, which is supposed to bang together dangerous particles or something. I'm not really up on all the sciency details. Apparently scientists have made this thing somewhere in Switzerland and plan on turning it on in mid-November this year. First off, after reading all this I am now going to say that I am afraid for my life and the life of my loved ones if this thing goes off and recreates the Big Bang or opens a wormhole to the future or something like that.
And that's not even the scariest thing. Number One way science will kill us all is nanotechnology, which in the wrong hands can create an army of desructo-bots that will devour all organic matter in there path. What really scares me is that my campus is working on a place that will build nanobots. This makes me feel uncomfortable, by which it means it scares me shitless. I am seriously considering making a sign and marching in front of were the building is being made and starting a protest on the grounds that this building could lead to the destruction of all life on earth.
Well, I need to get some cold water and calm down. Figure out a way to calm down. I can't link to the wikipedia article on the Large Hadron Collider. Look it up on wikipedia.

Feeling Slightly Overlooked

Hey folks, it looks like I'm three-for-three on RPG posts. I've posted three times and tried to start part two of the game three times and so far I've gotten nowhere. I can never get everyone in the same comfy lounge at the same time. I'm starting to wonder if this game was meant to be.
Well, aside from the whole RPG thing I am also in the process of putting the finishing touches on my Kabbalah paper. I'm just going to write up a final paragraph that will put rational philosophy and mysticism in the Jewish context up against the future development of human society or something like that. Shouldn't be to hard.
Still wish I could get this game running. I know in my heart it is a freaking awesome game, and it would be if I got everyone to get here on the same day.

I need Role-Play

Well, no Weimar Mage today. Two of the guys can't make it and now I'm listening to everyone talking about how cool and epic 10-Mage is. I am banging my head on a wall thinking why didn't I play because it's awesome.

What with running a role-playing game that I hope to be totally epic, and hearing about a role-playing game that is totally epic I am beginning to realize something. I need to play a character. Because of this I am thinking about getting involved in the local Vampire LARP, as it is the only LARP going and the only game I can see myself in being involved in. I'm thinking about playing a Thelemite who becomes a vampire. I'm working up what else to do with him. Now I'm going to go.
This is Role-Play Update. Goodbye.

Where To Find Supernaturals

I was going to post Wednesday night, when I had my Autism speech. I forgot though, so I'm blogging now. It's raining outside and I'm a good walks away from my residence. I am in fact at Cafe 1842. I haven't ordered anything yet and I'm trying to decide what my next move should be.

Anyways, Wednesday was when I made my talk about being autistic and how that affects communication. My mom kept me in check so I wouldn't bore anyone, and I made alot of jokes. I can't really say if this whole thing was an education for me. Except that one of the people who asked questions brought up a bunch of stuff about how wireless internet is making the world autistic. Since I'm on a wireless connection at the moment I'm wondering if I should be worried.
School is alright. We're getting to paper writting season, and I've got two pages worth of a Kabbalah paper and I think I can work out the standard number. It should also cover pretty much everything I have learned that's important. So none of my Professor's funny jokes. I should also figure out what I should be doing for my English paper. I probably should read Morte D'Arthur when I get back to residence. Once I figure out how to do that.
Being at Cafe 1842 is a bit depressing, because this was were the Changeling LARP once was and I really liked the idea of getting into it. This is the exact place I'd see a Changeling LARP as taking place. It's just how I see the Changelings in the game. There are certain strata of society I see the various WoD templates as inhabiting. Changelings I see as being almost always in coffeeshops, or on Skid Row, or squatters. Not sure what I see the rest of the templates as. Mages can be anywhere, but I usually see them as having at least religious or spiritual background. Vampires I see in power positions, or in skeevy techno disco hangouts. Werewolves I don't have an actual picture, but I always thought there was something similar to Twin Peaks in the nature of the set up so they'd largely be in small towns. But I suppose there would be Werewolves in major cities. Hunters, like Mages, can be everywhere and far more scattered. Hunters are basically everywhere. Prometheans, as per game rules, are nomadic.
I'm working for my ultimate campaign setting for World of Darkness. It's a project for me to create a city, a really large city, where I can set various WoD games, mainly based on the three concepts I have that I'd like to work on (Psychedelic Mage, Beat Generation Changeling and Hunter: The Wire). I'll have to come up with a regular city though, like who's the Mayor? where is it? What are the major neighborhoods?(I see Psychedelic Mage and Beat Generation Changeling as being in the same basic area, sort of a cheap bohemian neighborhood). I already know that most of the city was designed by a Mage who worked it for reasons no one really knows at that his old house is now were the Consilium meets up. His name is Guillarme Archimboldi by the way.
That's all for today. I'm going to go buy a hot chocolate.

Elephant Engine High Dive Revival

My love affair with poetry is largely due to Mongo at Indeefeed:Performance Poetry. There's a link to it on my blog. If you don't go there, go there. It is the main reason I'm becoming a poet and while it's not where my interest in poetry began, it's where my interest in poetry was fixed.

The Elephant Engine High Dive Revival is a tour of some of the more regular spoken word poets that I discovered from listening to Indeefeed. This is something I would love to see. It's been a really long time since I've seen live poetry performed, and never by these people in person. I also admit that most of this is because of Andrea Gibson. I don't know if she's on the official tour, but she is my favorite living poet. Give me a second to see if she's on the tour...
...alright, couldn't figure it out. I'm pretty sure she is though. That's not really the issue anyways, since the tour doesn't go to Canada. Damn it. How come all the poets I know and love are either dead or American or both. (Leonard Cohen doesn't count, because he's doesn't have the same place in my mind as someone like Andrea Gibson, i.e. I can see myself sit down with Andrea Gibson and talk. I don't think I could do that with Leonard Cohen no matter how cool he is).
How come I feel more interested in American writers and not with Canadian writers. There are very few Canadian writers I'm interested in. Cohen is the only one that I can think off. I might have worked Robertson Davies in there once, but I was frustrated by "What's Bread in the Bone." The majority of my favorite writers are Americans, though this is due to the fact I'm a fan of the Beats. The rest are from England, and also special notices from Russia and Chile. Is this bad for me or is National Literature going to be dead because of the internet? There's really not a lot to be proud of about being a Canadian. I'm proud of the health care system, because it helped me fix my back without bankrupting my family. This is something I am thankful for, though with all the town hall meetings in America it's something I don't think I'm being as vocal with. I'd write something about it, but the entire fact that a bunch of rednecks believe that a government that cares about your health is evil, while having an army full of gun wielding murderers to slaughter innocents is God's will and thus should be actively supported. This is such an alien idea to me that I am filled with a rage that feels like a cubist painting, all crooked and out of sink and that my body is distorting into a way that is not normally scene by human eyes.
Anyways, before I got onto that tangent about rednecks and being Canadian I was talking about poets and poetry. I was talking about my identity of being a poet. I don't know if I'll be remembered as a poet, or even if my poetry is that good. Either way I like this kind of poetry and I liked at least one of the poets involved. If any of you guys are reading this, if you could run this through Waterloo at some point that would be wonderful.

Game One of Weimar Mage

Alright I better make this quick. I've got Kabbalah class in awhile. It's a good thing I'm blogging from the Kabbalah room. Well, it's not much of a Kabbalah room, but I suppose real Kabbalists wouldn't have specific rooms. I probably shouldn't even be in the real Kabbalah room because I had bacon for lunch. My professor would probably be cool with that, but I can't help feeling the eyes of hundreds of old dead Jewish guys looking at me in a funny and not-nice way.

Anyways, Weimar Mage was last night and all in all it went over very well. It was a bit slow and nothing really important happened story-wise. I do feel that I have everything in game set up for fun stuff to go down. All the characters are in Berlin now and know off each other, and one even has a position in the Consilium.
Woaps, my prof just showed up. Got to run.

Chair

So yesterday my parents got me a chair. I now have a chair to sit in and read while I'm at University. It will help me sleep. That is all.

First Weekend

Strangely, this is not were I am located at this moment. I am in fact back in my hometown, sitting in my favorite coffee shop and seeing if any of my hometown friends are going to pass through. There's a guy who kind of looks like Michael Court, only younger, but he doesn't seem to recognize me.
So yeah, I'm home for the weekend. I even got some movies to watch from Generation X in Waterloo. Three of them, two of which I watched last night. Those movies were Aguirre: the Wrath of God and The Films of Kenneth Anger: Vol 1. They were both alright, and I think I liked Aguirre better, probably because it had an actual plot, where as the Anger films were basically surrealist shorts with not dialogue and music in the background. I still have one more movie to watch, but I can't remember the title.
My dad also got the new Wolverine movie, which I wasn't as impressed with. It really seemed like an excuse to get Wolverine to beat stuff up, and something of a contrived one at that. Bits of it were good, but the over all production felt lacking. Also, I didn't appreciate what they did with Deadpool, because even though I don't read many comics, and those I do are generally from DC's Vertigo line, I am familiar with Deadpool. Anyone who plans on having fun with all the little yellow boxes that their thoughts are in is awesome. Still, to work in all the fourth-wall breaking computer-meme spouting looniness that this would involve would take away from the actual movie, which as I said was Wolverine beating shit up. And again, that would just be too loony for normal people. Imagine taking a perfectly traditional action movie and then throwing in a random guy to make genre-savvy postmodern comments about how mindlessly violent everything is before engaging in said mindless violence and you've got what this would look like. This would screw up with the unwashed masses enjoyment of the mindless violence. Nerds and Postmodernists would love it, but the guys who usually go to the action movies would just be confused.
Alright, besides movies I'm also starting Weimar Mage on Monday. I've got four people, a Fascist, a Communist, a Russian Monarchist and a default Zionist, and I'm pretty sure that half of them will be killed once the Nazis get in power in 1933, at worst. I'm going to try and come up with an idea for Game 1. Something to get the characters together for a limited time so they can be a group.
I have to go now because I'm in conversation with a friend.

I think New Testament is a cool guy. He heals sick people and dosen't afraid of anything.

Hello readers. And a special shout out to that Missionary from West Africa who commented on my 56 pencil post awhile back. Good to know I'm being read in places like West Africa.

I am now in class sessions and today is by busiest day. Two classes, both religious studies. I'm going to try and get this post done by around 11, because at 12:30 I'm going to go to my Kabbalah class (yeah Kabbalah). I do feel a little guilty going straight for the Kabbalah when I haven't even taken the Judaism course, and I'm worried I might tick of my Jewish Professor. Though he probably can expect this what with the whole Madonna thing. Don't know what he'll think when I bring up the fact I'm coming at this because of the Hermetic aspect of it. Also, I have a night class about Jesus. The Professor is a cool guy and it should be fun.
Weimar Mage has yet to start. I have one yes, and lots of maybes. I also need to look into a way to keep the timeline basically similar without being a jerk about this. The problem is quite literally the Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act. The time line must remain more or less the same. Thankfully, there's a book that can help me with this so I don't come up with things like "Hitler is being protected by really powerful shit from hell," to often. Though I did tell them that Stalin is going to be a Mage in all likelihood and he'll probably be a kick-ass powerful Moros with lots of bodyguards and traps and things. I may even make him a character at some point. Anyways, I think I got a few tricks up my sleeve.
Well anyways, I'll try to keep up with all my posts. See you guys around.

Untitled

I'm getting a bit bored with all this Frosh Week nonsense and would like the real meat and potatoes of University to start. I've got all the books and things. I guess what I'm really feeling is, well something like isolation but also that I'm not being fulfilled intellectually or spiritually. I wish that there were other writers I could talk with. Unfortunately I don't know where to find such people. I could ask people passing by if they are writers, but I don't think that it would be particularly efficient.
So far I haven't written anything but blog posts at University. This makes me feel a bit sad and I feel I should try and get some writing done while I'm here.

Day Two: Lots of Foot Work

That thing on my shirt says "23 was born in 718." I have no idea what it means. I think it was just a non-sequiter someone put on a t-shirt. Maybe someone can shed some light on it's meaning. The artistic side of my mind says that this will only lead down a rabbit hole of ancient conspiracies akin to a Robert Anton Wilson novel.
Well, it isn't even lunch and I've had a busy day. I scavenged the yard for abandoned items from the Penny Event and came up with a candle (that I can't use but will probably give to my mother. It apparently smells like Angel Food Cake), an old gas lantern and a dirty old water cooler. So now I have a water cooler in my room. I think it will be largely for show however.
I also got most of my books for my classes, except for a book on Kabbalah they didn't have. I'll have to go back for that. I also went to the library were I got quite a bit of poetry and some short fiction of Philip K. Dick. I also checked the OPD to see if I had an appointment and I did have something of an appointment approaching regarding exams.
I believe I am largely done for the day; I can't think of anything else that could occupy my attention that is pressing. I'll probably just get some reading done and wait till Lunch. I would like to get most of the two novels I'm reading now done, though I don't know if I'll need to worry about my school reading getting in the way of my pleasure reading.

Pencils and Pie

A better title may be "I'm In!", but my little sister Scout wanted me to write especially about Pencils and Pie. Unfortunately I have nothing as yet to say about pencils or pie. I just choose this title to draw her attention.
Moving in did go very well. My room is very nice and cozy and I expect to enjoy it very much. So far I haven't really been able to get all the stuff I want to get done done. The Dana Porter Library is not open, but I was able to run into my friends from Watsfic. The Changeling LARP fell apart, but good news, there is a Mage LARP being held this very weekend. I'm going to have to see if I have time to go and I'll also need to run up a character for that. I'm either going with Thyrsus Warrior-Poet or Obrimos Ezekial Talbot-from-the-last-Hunter-Game-redone-as-Mage. Or I'll make up a character.
That's it so far. Further updates will be forth coming.

Going Back To University

Today is for all intensive purposes my last day as an unemployed cafe dweller. This is largely because I will be going to University on Monday and the coffee shop is closed on Sundays. This isn't to say I don't have a job, because I picked up a position as a dishwasher at my residence. So yeah, I have a job now. I may even have it for Fall and Winter Semesters. I only have to work one day and I'll be making more then if my parents just gave me money.
I have a bunch of things to do in my first week. For one thing I still need to pick up my books for my classes, so I'll have to check them. I also should check in with the OPD, see what they have for me. I also have a meeting with the Pysch office, which should be very fruitful. In other news I also plan on taking advantage of Dana Porter the first day and getting a few new bits of reading material. Also, if I am going to start getting that RPG going. I have what I hope will be a very good short quest set up so I can get to know the characters, but at the moment I want to set up there Awakening and get to know what kind of characters I'm dealing with. I'm curious to see what they'll come up with as characters, for all I know this is the first time they've been in a historical game. I don't know if that's true, but I'm interested in what kind of characters they'd be. I wish I could have come up with more ideas for character ideas. I still might bring up "Thyrsus Jazz Musician."

56 Pencils

I don't think I made this wide knowledge on my blog, but I love pencils. I would consider a big box full of fresh unsharpend pencils a great present and logically presume that whoever game me such a gift cared deeply for me and if not a blood relative was probably coming on to me. This is something that my sisters make fun of me for, saying I have a thousand pencils. Well today, because I had nothing else to do I decided to look through my pencil case and figure out how many pencils I have anyways. And the answer is that there are currently 56 pencils in my pencil case. The question has been answered. I also have two pencils hiding somewhere and 48 let to be sharpened pencils. That would make a hundred and six pencils. By then however, most of the pencils featured in the above picture will be to small for usage.
Also, if anyone has any environmentally friendly ideas for what I can do with my discarded pencils that would be excellent.

Self Portraits

These are pictures I took on my computer camera. I liked them, and thought I'd put then up on my blog. I didn't think they'd get a chance to see the light of day any other way.

The Songbook of Naos Ben-David

My friend Kron's Internet is down, which makes me feel somewhat lonely. I've enjoyed many fine conversations with him over the MSN this summer, and my favorite coffee shop feels lonely and a bit overwhelming, to the point where I am know listening to Charlie Parker on my Ipod as you can see. I was trying to get the picture of Charlie Parker in, but my Ipod screen is too shiny.
Good news though, I've written a poem. Or it may be a song, it could be both, but it's mostly a song. I call it "Evangelism Blues," and it's part of a project I'm calling The Songbook of Naos Ben-David. Yes, I know I'm starting a new project. I'm always coming up with new projects. Short Story Anthologies, Poetry Anthologies, Series of Novels, Borges-inspired Encyclopedias, but this one I'm going to do. I actually plan on having a Songbook of Naos Ben-David published. I've already got it set in my mind, I always saw Naos as a sort of singer-songwriter and I figured that I might as well write the songs that he sings. Sure, this first one isn't going to be Naos' Blowing in the Wind, but I figured it was as good a place to start with as any. I'm going to write eleven or twelve more for the first album. Maybe I could also learn how to play guitar so I could write the notes. Or maybe that would just distract me. I could have someone else make the notes.
I also discovered a new website called Poets.org. I'd link to it, but my computer has been all bitchy since I downloaded Firefox. Just go to www.poets.org, it's got all kinds of great poets and poetry and articles and things. I'll probubly set up a link to it somewhere on my blog. It's a great website.

More on Weimar, Novels this Time

I want to update you people on the events of my life, but so far nothing much has happened. I have a good idea of what I have in store for the various poor PCs into the world of Weimar Berlin, all the important people in the Consiliuum are set up, all I need to know is get all there information down. I think that if I do everything right, then I can get to 1933 by the end off Winter Term. By then I'm seriously hoping that the characters are smart enough to run, but I'm sure I can drop enough hints that running would be a good idea. Still, I plan on having all kinds of fun, and the environment is just messed-up that we can have various PCs of unethical leanings. I'd like them to take the moral high ground on some issues, if only because I like being around moral people. At least they won't be the most unethical people in this game, I should keep that in mind. Heck, I don't even need to make-up characters that are worse then them, one of the NPCs is Adolf Hitler.
Still not writing much. I've got a kind of Burrougheseque story involving Naos, Helen and a Nationalism Disease which I may or may not write, but I don't know if I like writing stories about Naos and Helen in the Desert. I honestly think I'm not ready to write the story of Naos and Helen. I see it as more of something like Doctor Zhivago meets Masked and Anonymous if it was written by Philip K. Dick. As such I see it as being pretty urbane. I should also read Doctor Zhivago if I'm going to make that connection.
I am not really reading anything at the moment. I am trying to get into Knut Hamsun's Hunger, but so far I haven't gotten into it. I'm also trying to read Gary Snyder's Mountains and Rivers Without End. Haven't gotten into that either. I think I should make a list of books I should read. I'd like to read more Philip K. Dick, and when I get back to University I'm probably going to pick up a book of his short fiction. I also want to read some of the various books I have on me that I have yet to read. I still mean to read Paul Bowles, so I should probably get started on either The Delicate Prey and Other Stories and The Sheltering Sky. I'm going to have to make a reading list at some point. I do plan on reading some Christopher Isherwood when I get to University for the campaign though.
Anyways, waiting to get to University. Not sure how many days it is from now. Going to try and read some Gary Snyder.

Return to Weimar and Poetry

13 more days and I will return to University. I'm very excited, I can't wait. I wish I was there already. There is only so much of hanging out in the same cafe and messing around that a guy can take and I believe I have reached my limit. Alright, I'll miss my friends and my cafe. But I'll have friends waiting for me back at Waterloo, as well as a start to the Weimar Mage game. My vacation from that is over and I think I have found a stress free way of developing the entire consiliuum. Tarot Cards.

The Mage: the Awakening sourebook, Keys to the Supernal Tarot, give advise on how to create a character through randomly drawing Tarot cards. I think this could be a really good idea, as it saves me the time to come up with a concept to start with. I can just draw five cards from a Tarot deck, and I happen to own a Rider-Waite Tarot deck, and then work out the character from what I've got. It's a brilliantly simply way to develop this and I don't have to worry about getting my hair in a bunch. I'm also thinking about using Tarot cards to develop plot, and giving all the PCs and in-character reading, I can use the images in that for further plot devices with the character. Also, I figure that if I'm going to do a Mage game right, which is part of the reason I'm running this, I'm going to need some ancient magical, religious or philosophical background to draw symbolism from. Tarot is already built into the game. I was going to work in Kabbalah, but the rules for replacing that as the Magical system seem a bit complcated and I want to work through what the Sephirot actually mean.

I'm also reading, or trying to read, quite alot of poetry. I'm looking into Arthur Rimbaud again, and he's quite a fine poet. I don't speak his native language, but I'm reading the Wyatt Mason translation and I think that's pretty good. I'm a bit worried about reading poets in translation, because I worry that I'm not actually reading the poet, but the translator. Strangelly, I don't have this problem when I read Bolano or Dostoyevsky. Poetry is different. Poetry is about the words. Still, I like Bolano's language, even if I'm not reading Bolano in his native language. The words are still good and I like how they feel. Maybe I'm reading Rimbaud after all.

I'm also reading the poetry of Ezra Pound, because Ezra Pound is supposed to be a very important poet. For some reason I'm starting with the Cantos, which is supposed to be a major piece of 20th century poetry and Pound's greatest written work, which he wrote for most of his life. I'm not sure what I think of Pound, but the entire world of poetry is still very new to me. The only poet I can say I really like is Allen Ginsberg, and I sometimes wonder if I have simply decided to like him. I also like Gerard Manley Hopkins and T.S. Eliot. I guess I like more poets then I think. I guess that because of all this, I'm trying to become a poet. Once University starts, I plan on writing a good deal of poetry and read as much poetry as I can.

The idea of becoming a poet probubly came from listening to Indeefeed: Performance Poetry. As such, I'm inspired by slam poetry and I think most of the poetry I write now comes from a slam aesthetic. I feel poetry, at least modern poetry, is meant to be an oral tradition. I'm thinking of doing a thing on youtube, where I would read my poetry for videos. So far the only think I can think of for putting up are my poems "Anarchy Baby" and my only published short story, which I think I might go over. I didn't edit it the first time, and I think that I could do better with it. I have an account set up, but I need to figure out where I can get a camera to film the readings and then put them on the youtube. Thankfully, I have a cousin who's in the computer world and he will be with me on my floor. When I have something up I'll probubly put it up on my blog.

Well, I'm talking with a friend. I better go.

Cherry Pie

I just ate 1/3rd of a cherry pie. Awhile ago we got a cherry pie, because a friend of mine and I are having a Twin Peaks marathon before I go back to University. I thought I could take a third of cherry pie. I think I may have been wrong.

The Magic Naturalist Manifesto: A Novel

Greetings True Believers. I thought I'd talk more on Magic Naturalism, since I didn't say all I wanted to say about it in my last post.

As many regular readers may be aware, Magic Naturalism is a highly ambiguous art movement I have been fiddling together in my spare time using various loose bits of Remodernism, Surrealism and Alchemy, and most likely inspired by the Visceral Realists in Bolano's novel The Savage Detectives and the Beat Generation. I first used the term Magic Naturalist as part of the introduction of myself for my first published short story, and I didn't have any idea what a Magic Naturalist was, except a cool sounding name.

Since then I have been toying with writing the Magic Naturalist Manifesto. Through the inspiration of the only other Magic Naturalist in existence, I am going to write it as a piece of fiction. I have a bit of the first bit written, but at the moment I'd like to concentrate on short fiction. I'm also wondering if Magic Naturalism is more of an aesthetic then an actual movement. I think if Magic Naturalism was an aesthetic, then it would be something like a Bolano novel. The Magic wouldn't be visible, but if you read into it you can notice it. Or maybe the Magic Naturalist aesthetic is similar to Bolano's work, but with more noticeable acts of the supernatural. That would probably be just because I like the supernatural.

Still, I think that Magic Naturalism is a bit experimental. I want to experiment with forms. I want to see what happens if you rework the methods of alchemy to a piece of fiction. That is the basis of Magic Naturalist experimentation. I'm also come up with a method I'm calling "Tarot Stories," which is basically taking a Tarot deck, asking it a question like "Who killed the character in my short story," and then using the Tarot to figure out how that happened. I enjoyed it, though I don't know how much I should rely on this method. I think I may use it a bit for The Magic Naturalist Manifesto, but I think Philip K. Dick did something similar with the I Ching in The Man in the High Castle. It's probably where I got the idea actually.

Which brings me to what this post was about. Well, not really but I lost my train of thought. If I'm writing The Magic Naturalist Manifesto as a work of fiction, with a fictional plot and fictional characters, then does Magic Naturalism exist? The more I work over Magic Naturalism, the more it becomes something withing my fictional universe. I think it can be both though, but on the other hand I'm very afraid of becoming famous. I don't want people to know who I am. I don't think I want to be famous. Maybe I'll get a pseudonym like Archimboldi, maybe I'll just disappear into Europe or Asia or somewhere and never be heard from again.

God, I'm to distracted. To be continued...

Solve Et Coagula: The Magic Naturalist Magazine

Today the spectre of Nazism is not as powerful as it was yesterday. I believe that this is because I am now writing it out in a form that can help restore my sanity. I am currently working on a piece of short fiction that I believe will help me deal with the existential stresses of National Socialism. This short story will hopefully express the issues I have, while at the same time tear a hole of complete absurdity into the entire idea of Nazis. I think that's what Mel Brooks did with "The Producers."

Speaking of writing, I have been thinking about my idea of the perfect literary magazine. This would be one that I would help publish and it would be linked to the idea of Magic Naturalism. It probably would be THE Magic Naturalist magazine, "Solve Et Coagula." I came up with this idea last night. It would be a single magazine that would have an issue every three months or so, usually with a theme of some sort that would give a loose theme. The theme wouldn't be to important however, and some issues may not even have a theme. It would also have more or less the same group of artists, all of whom would be in contact with each other, thus we would have a highly regional magazine made up mostly of the Magic Naturalists. Each issue would feature what those particular Magic Naturalists were doing and show examples of Magic Naturalist stories, paintings, poems and articles. It would also have transcripts of discussions made by various members of the Magazines, in retelling form or through copying down MSN chats. There would also be a special "Guest Feature," in each issue where we would get someone who is not from the Magic Naturalist group proper who would act as a guest. If this was a perfect world I'd probably see if I could get Alan Moore to be a "Guest Feature," because I have officially declared him a Grandfather of Magic Naturalism.

I basically got the idea from the Hermann Hesse book I'm reading. It's called "The Glass Bead Game," or "Magister Ludi," but I'm calling it "The Glass Bead Game," because that's the proper name. It's about the life of a guy called Joseph Knecht, and takes place in an unspecified future were the Intelligentsia has evolved into various monastic orders and the highest form of which is a bunch of people who play the Glass Bead Game, which is some kind of multi-disciplinary game that is very complex and only really smart, educated people can play. I was really struck by the idea of the Intelligentsia Monks, because they seem to be doing this right, and not in a way that I'm doing. They're unconcerned with fame or money or any of that stuff. This made me question my own goals, am I writing because of fame and money? I certainly want to get paid for my writing, but I'm not so sure about fame. I don't want fame, yet I would like people to read my work. Is having people read my work the same as being famous? Mind you, I don't want a, say Michael Jackson level of fame, where they wont shut up about me. I don't want paparazzi following me around. But does the paparazzi follow writers around? Are they're really any famous writers anymore? I feel out of touch with the common man, if they're is such a thing? Is the common man the people who watch Entertainment Tonight to see if John and Kate have broke up yet and which one has custody over the plus 8? Do people follow Salman Rushdie around, or that guy who wrote American Psycho? I don't even think I know any famous writers of today. Well, I know Salman Rushdie and Thomas Pynchon, know of them I mean, but they aren't followed by paparazzi. They both have to lie low, or Salman Rushdie does. I think Thomas Pynchon may have CIA connections, but that's just baseless hypothesizing.

I don't think we live in a world were writers are famous, they're just well known. I also think that if I really wanted too, I could probably disappear from Gossip Columnist Radar. But anyways, to tie everything back together, I wanted to make this magazine, which we will call Solve Et Coagula for now, as a way around this. It would be more a way for various artists with similar interests to communicate, and show they're work to each other. "See, this is what I did. Love what you did there. See that guy, man I loved his photography, we should have him in the Zine sometime." That sort of thing. I think it would be a good idea. It could be worked around the whole fame and money thing, and we could all just concentrate on the Art.

The Sinister Spectre of the Third Reich

It may be that in the past few months the Nazis have been more present in my internal life. I've been reading a lot of books that involve the Nazis in some way or another and it's been starting to eat into me. For one thing I stimmed for about a half hour because it's getting on my nerves so much. I think that a good part of this is the role-playing game, but over the last few months, starting from Winter I have been reading alot of books about the Nazis. For instance I've been reading "The Man in the High Castle," by Philip K. Dick recently, which is an alternate history novel where the Nazis won WWII. I've also finished up reading a book on Berlin in the 1920s, and watched the film "Cabaret" awhile back, both of these ending on the same bum note (The Nazis take over).

I've been trying to work the whole idea of what the Nazis are and why we're so repullsed by them, at least I was until I was completely unerved last night. Maybe I still am, but I really don't want to think about it right now. It's just at this moment I have been looking into this sort of thing for to long and I need a break. This is all just bothering me alot and I feel I need to excersize the Nazi demons around me.

MOVITS!

For those of you who ever wondered what Swedish Swing-Rap would be like...



Now you know. Your welcome.

On Role-Playing Games and Family Vacations

I didn't think I'd be posting in awhile, but this blog has been part of my life for so long that I can't see myself not posting. Yes, most of the time I post about nothing, but nothing really happens in my life. Especially around summer.

I don't know if the Changeling LARP is happening, which is a shame. I sent an email to the people there and have had no reply. Once University starts again I'll ask my contact if things are still going on. If it seems likely to continue I'll join, if not then I'll have to wait for another.

It's raining outside at the moment. Thunder and everything. I just thought I'd mention that, because I like it when there is rain and thunder. It's cool and I like the way thunder sounds. It means I'm stuck here at my local coffee house but that's alright.

Anyways, and I should have started with this, but I have done something recently. I have been to my Aunt and Uncle's Cottage in the Muskokas. I suppose it was fun most of the time, but I was also stressed because of all the stuff I had to deal with. There was to many people for me to deal with on a regular basis, about nine besides myself and hardly much in the way for me to really be on my own without bugs eating at me. I did finish Salinger's "Nine Stories," while I was there. I don't think I actually got it though. My friend who suggested it said it is about human interaction and sudden twists, but I didn't really get it. It was probubly my autism, so for the most part it was just a bunch of neurotypicals doing neurotypical things. I also finished Bolano's "2666," but that was before I even left. I don't think I understood that either, but not in the way I didn't understand Nine Stories.

I remember someone once compared Bolano's work to "Highway 61 Revisted," the Bob Dylan song. That made sense, and in many ways Bolano's writing is like Bob Dylan's writing during that period. It's beautifully written and dense and really dosen't make that much sense while still remaining spellbindingly brilliant. Besides that "2666" and "Highway 61" are both similar in various respects. Both revolve around a series of locations, the Mexican border town of Santa Teresa in "2666," Highway 61 in the Bob Dylan song. The location stays the same in both song and book, but various interconnected stories are told within them. I don't know what it is in the Bob Dylan song that connects all these stories besides Highway 61, but in Bolano's novel it is the murder of various women and the reclusive author Benno von Archimboldi. I don't know the meaning for either song or book, but it is something I am curious about both.

Anyways, the role-playing game I hope to run in the fall is becoming something of an obsession, most specifically desighing the supernatural political situation in Weimar Berlin. It was hard enough since I came up with just having Mages, but now I'm working on setting up a vampiric court. The way it went was that the game was going to become rather political and involve a lot of turmoil and it felt a shame to leave vampires out of it. As such I've got a list of the various roles withing a vampire court and am going to come up with roles for each. This is hard since I don't really have much of the political structure of the Mage Consiliuum set up. I have an idea on the Hierarch, his Provost, the Consilor for the Mysterium and a few other important people but not much else. I'm going to have to come up with everyone else during the time it takes to set up the game.

I'm not going to start the game immediatly when I get to University. First of all, I only have two people, and I want to see who else is interested. After that I'd like to talk with them a bit about their characters. I want to get a handle of what kind of PCs I'll be dealing with. I think this is a better idea then last time, since I can see how to work them into the story, which is more or less about the rise of the Nazis, though at first it's going to be rather political with various bits of the fun hedonistic side of Weimar Berlin. I'd like to work more of this into the game, but I'd like to know who is going to play and what kind of characters they are so I can put together the story. I'd like to put all the issues together, for instance one character is looking for his long lost sister, another is trying to stop the Holocaust. Does lost sister have something to do with the Holocaust? Maybe, we'll have to see. Also, it would help the players to look up things on the time period to add any biographical details. One of the characters is a veteran of the Polish-Soviet War for instance, and to run his Awakening I'm going to start with his participation in the Battle of Warsaw.

I don't really know if my obsession with this is a problem or not. I enjoy coming up with this game. I enjoy the research aspect and I enjoy coming up with ways to mess with the heads of the PCs. For instance, I'm learning about the New York Mafia now. One of the characters is a gangster, I think from New York but I can't remember, and as such I want to read up on Gangsters to make things more historically accurate though I fully admit that I'm using Wikipedia as my main source. If anyone knows the situation of the New York Mafia around 1922 - 1923, I'd really appreciate it. Also, I'm going to have fun role-playing all the Mafia Wiseguys during that character's Awakening and the New York Storyline I'm working on.

Movie Review: Masked and Anonymous

I'm almost sure this movie is good. If it is good, it's because it hangs in that place were it exists in it's own world. Also, this movie can be best described as someone trying to make a movie out of a Bob Dylan song, not any praticular Bob Dylan song, but whatever this movie is about Bob Dylan has something important to do with it. This is due to the fact Bob Dylan co-wrote and acts in the film.
The basic plot of the film is that Bob Dylan, AKA Jack Fate, AKA Bob Dylan has been released from prison to do a benefit concert, a shaddy benefit concert, but still he's out of prison. Fate lives in what looks like something that is kind of the United States, but has a feel like a South American Bananna Republic. After that all the characters talk they way you'd expect characters to talk in a movie co-wrote by Bob Dylan (it's great), a pretty good soundtrack featuring Bob Dylan songs is played (it's great), encounter various characters bouncing off each other (it's alright), and a bunch of scenes involving political and philsophical discourse.

In all this, I like this movie. This is probubly because I'm a Bob Dylan fan, and despite the fact this is a very minor movie I feel compelled to it because this is more or less the kind of feel I want for the Naos and Helen novel. It's the same basic world, has the same feel and also Bob Dylan is in it. This must be what William Gibson felt after seeing Blade Runner. Because of this alone I'd put Masked and Anonymous up there with The Big Lebowski as one of my favorite movies. (Interesting note, both Jeff Bridges and John Goodman appear in this movie).

To end off I'm putting up this youtube video which has Bob Dylan and his back-up band singing "Cold Irons Bound," another reason to see this movie.

Starving in the Belley of a Whale, a Tom Waits song (featuring Banjo Monkey)

Canadian Literature and It's Relationship To Me

I'm writing this at the public library in my hometown and you should expect more posts from here in recent days. I'm hanging out here to save money as whenever I'm at Revel I tend to buy stuff, usually food and I've already bought a book and an ice cream with the large amount of government money I came in with recently. I can also get more writing done here I imagine. I'll tell you how it goes.
Anyways, Today I'd like to talk about Canadian Literature. It's something that I'm really comfortable with, as I don't really see myself as being involved in Canadian Literature. I'm not familiar with Canadian Literature and have very little knowledge of it other then what I've heard. I read very little Canadian writers. Most of the people I read are either American or British, and among by favorite authors are a Russian and a Chilean. Also, I don't really know if I want to be considered involved in Canadian Literature because I don't feel that Canadian Literature is really taken seriously. Maybe it's because most great Canadian writers haven't been dead long enough, but I just never saw myself as a real Canadian. I just sort of live here. I don't even know if I'll spend most of my life in Canada. The idea of living in another country is seeming more and more appealing, since I feel dangerously close to America sometimes. I'm growing more and more distrustful of America and the capitalism I believe it represents. I'm becoming more and more worried about what I hear of economics, which I'm seeing more and more as a lie, a giant con, that the entire world is being brought into.
Anyways, back to Canadian Literature, I'm wondering right now if I am going to end up in that category because I'm a born Canadian. I don't even know that much about my native literature, except it has something to do about survival. I don't think much of my writing has anything to do with survival. I don't even know if that was just Margaret Atwood shooting off about Canadian Literature. Anyways, because of my ambiguous relationship with my national literature, I plan on doing readings of the following writers in the near future.

1. Robertson Davies (I really liked The Rebel Angels. I found What's Breed in the Bone pretty long-winded and boring though. I figure I have to finish the trilogy off at some point though. I'm hoping it will be better then the last one)
2. Timothy Findley (A friend suggested his book Pilgrim)
3. Mordecai Richler (No reason, he's just Canadian and I like his name or something)
4. Leonard Cohen (I figure I should add a poet and Leonard Cohen is someone I feel I should read more off)

And that's it. After that I feel I have read them I will think I will have a better handle on Canadian Literature. I may also read some Margaret Atwood, though my last English teacher said she came off as an angsty white girl in her novels. Other then that I don't know what else I should do about this. Probubly forget the whole thing.

The Brothers Carrotmazov

For some reason I was thinking of Veggie Tales. For those of you who aren't Christian, Veggie Tales is basically one of those cartoons made for Christians to help express the intricacies of the faith to the little kiddies in ways that are more interesting then reading the Bible, which can be something of a boring read, or even worse reading Aquinas or some. Instead, you get little funny cartoons about vegitables that very from Biblical Retellings, to retellings of the classics with a Christian message.

I was thinking about how they'd redo classics like this. The ones that came to mind are "The Grapes of Wrath,"(done with actual grapes), and "Madame Bovarry,"(renamed Madame Blueberry). These are both books I have yet to read, but I figure I am going to get around to them at somepoint. Still, stuff like Madame Blueberry is different from Madame Bovary. Instead of the Madame Bovary character having a series of affairs, she goes on a shopping spree. This is because the show is supposed to be for kids. It also occured to me, why aren't they doing works by Christian writers? I mean, Flaubert and Steinbeck are Christians, at least I'm pretty sure they are, but why aren't they doing classics by writers who were open about their faith, say Dostoyevsky.

Which brings me to the brunt of todays post, what if Veggie Tales did an episode based on a Dostoyevsky novel.

Now, this can get pretty dark, because the two novels by Dostoyevsky I have read are Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov. Crime and Punishment is about a guy who kills a pawn broker in cold blood, and the rest of the novel is basically him being sick, guilty and the reader and him trying to put all this in persepctive. And plot of the Brothers Karamazov is basically driven by sex, lies and murder. Despite this, both novels have what I see as fundamentally a Christian meaning, and both speak much of redemption. Would the folks down at Big Ideas, the guys who make Veggie Tales, be open to a retelling of a Dostoyevsky novel and if so, how would they do it.

The one I'm thinking is The Brothers Karamazov, if only because it is the hardest to actually put into terms of a children's show since the major event of the novel revolves around patricide (alleged patricide in some cases but still). As in Madame Blueberry, they would have to find something that won't shoke the kids and more importantly the parents. What this could possibly be. Which also reminds me that what lead up to the patricide was the fact that the father was trying to seduce a woman that one of the brothers was interested in and who he had left for his wife. This would also be hard to work in. Actually, Dostoyevsky is probubly not a good example for this because of all that is going on in the book. Fyodor's writing is just to complex to make into a Veggie Tales episode.

But the point is, I have this image of the cast of Veggie Tales as characters in a darker and edgier episode based on Dostoyevsky. It's not exactly a bad thing either, since it is still in the same basic format but we're doing the kind of things that I'm experiencing now as a Christian. The nature of faith, the seeming cruelty of the universe. Why is it that they only make Christian cartoons for kids and when they do it can be so optomistic? Maybe I should develop something like Veggie Tales for people my age who are more open to the idea of questioning the nature of there faith. I'll have to make a follow up to this at somepoint.

Friday Youtube Videos (Eastern European Special)

Since the reason I got this new format was to make watching the new wide screen Youtube videos I thought I'd do a special on Youtube videos.

First is the newest sensation, a Ukrainian polka band covering Katy Perry's "Hot'n'Cold." It's like listening to Katy Perry but without feeling embarrassed for listening to Katy Perry. Because it's polka.

Yeah, polka.

Alright, and after that I want to show you a band I discovred called Daniel Kahn and the Painted Bird. They're Jewish folk band and they are awesome. I don't know if it's just me, but Yiddish is a beautiful sounding language.

So How Is Your Summer Going, Dylan?

I really hate summer.

There are many reasons for me hating summer. The one that most easily comes to mind is that it is hot and I do not do well with heat. At all. And the problem with this can largely be tied to my feet. They are very sensitive and generally need socks. I tried wearing one of those new rubber clog shoes that my mom picked up and my feet were achy and sweaty. Also, because I hate footie socks with every fiber of my being, I can only wear normal socks and because of the all-powerful laws of fashion I cannot wear shorts and longs socks. It's annoying.

Another thing I hate about summer is that I have nothing to do. This is especially important this summer because I have nothing to keep me occupied except my erratic reading and writing patterns. However, I do feel I have written more then I have written more and some good stuff too. I'm back at Naos and Helen, since I'm now working at them through the medium of the short story. This gives me the chance to explore them in short bursts which my attention span and patience allow. I'm working on two Naos and Helen stories more or less simultaneously now, but one of them is pretty psychological and is getting hard for me to write, since I want the characters to act naturally as compared to the world they live in which is bat shit insane.

On the subject on my ability to write things I am having doubts about my capability in the means of poetry. This I blame on Stephen Fry. I've been trying to read his book The Ode Less Travelled, to get an understanding of how metre works and I don't think I'm that good at metre. I try to write stuff in metre and I'm thrown off. Then I try to write free verse, but I can't get that either and then I feel guilty because I don't read a lot of poetry and when I do I can barely understand it, though recently I did read The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock a couple times and I think I got that, although I picked up at some point it was about prostitutes and impotence so that may have helped me. Still, I appreciate T.S. Eliot's poetry and I like his style.

In other news, I sent my short story "Godot is Dead," out to The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. I'm not sure if they'll take it. I think the story is pretty out there, but I don't know if it is the kind of out there that Bizarro fiction demands. Also, it's a Jack Monsairty story, so it has a "wizard," though I think of Jack more as an occultist, and that might turn them off. I have only sent it out recently and I have yet to here back. I don't know exactly how long I should be waiting, the next issue will be published in October so I imagine before or around I get to University.

Looking into Various Fields of Interest

We went to Toronto yesterday, my family and I. The Dead Sea Scrolls are being shown at the Royal Ontario Museum, and since I'm into the places where Christianity and Judaism meet I figured it would be a fun trip. After that the family split up into two groups, the girls going to see taxidermey animals and my dad and I looking at the antiquities of the Far East. I liked the Buddhas and the big pictures they had of various Chinese religious figures. Oh, and the rubbings of signs on Synagoges, Mosques and Christian Churches found in China. Yeah, they have Jews and Muslims and Christians there, and I'm talking before the Jesuits.

Then we went to Ikea and I began to feel sad because I don't have my own place. I know I'm 19, and very few 19 year-olds have there own place, but damn it I want to have my own apartement. It didn't help that we found a very nice walk in room that Mom said she could see me living in. So I began to feel nervous about my independence, which I'm also feeling a bit off about because I have had some recent confusion with my bi-monthly twenty dollars. Thankfully I got some of the coffee drop-off which can last me through the rest of the day. This lead to all kinds of frustration about how I'm not as independent as I'd like to be.

Also, finally I am beginning to read more on Aspergers Syndrome. I'm currently reading "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome," by Tony Atwood. Now I have to go because I'm talking to a friend.

Returning to the Mage Game

As many of you know I tried to run a game of Mage the Awakening awhile back with disatrerous results. More recently however, I am working on a new, more organized coherent idea for a game of Mage the Awakening. As my first run into the world of running World of Darkness games, I am getting very ambitious as I am going to be setting it preferabbly over a period of 22 years and it is going to start in the year 1923. This is going to give me my own chance to interpret the world of Mage the Awakening, mostly by writing about the early history of the Free Council after it joined up with the Atlantean Orders. (Before the counterculture-technology and magic are compatable Mages joined up with the Mages who trace there origin back to Atlantis). It also gives me a chance to have adventures with all sorts of fun stuff like Modernism, Alistair Crowley and Occult Nazis, the last two of which are unavoidable when writing a Mage game in this relative time period in my opinion. I'm also changing from usual World of Darkness format in that the game will not take wholley in a single city. I am in fact planning on setting it across most of Europe, especially in Paris and Weimar Berlin, with various possible detours in America, Spain and the Soviet Union. I've got a pretty good idea for the general direction, and I'm working in various little sub-plots and things that will happen, since I'm working with the idea that the characters are going to Forrest Gump their way thorugh history, getting into drunken boxing matches with Hemingway, inspiring Einstein's theory of relativity, having Crowley look over your shoulder every once in awhile for the Pentacle, stuff like that.
However, I am thinking about setting the story in a single city to start with and at the moment I'm torn between Paris and Weimar Berlin. Paris is, well Paris, but I think in the long run Weimar Berlin will be a better choice. Paris in the 1920s appeals to me mostly because I'm a writer and Paris in the 1920s to me is all about James Joyce and Ernest Hemingway and stuff like that. Weimar Berlin however, along with being artistic, has the advantage of being a veritable powder-keg politically. In between the Cabarets and sex you have facsists and communists fighting each other in the streets, and what's more it would . I think it would appeal more to the players since I feel I can do more in Berlin then just the Lost Generation. The characters could easily play that angle, but they could also do, say the science angle since Albert Einstein was also alive at this time. They could also play the political angle, and join up with the various political aspects. They could also go into the occult thing since I'm boning up on the occult roots of Nazism, but I doubt that any of the players will do that. I'm the guy most likely to play an occultist. I do hope that most of the characters were in World War One though, because I'd like most of the characters to be similar in some respect.

Again, I'm going to play a lot with the Mage order of the Free Council, which in game is still a recent development. So far I'm thinking that they are currently the most powerful order in Berlin, mostly because they fit well with Weimar Berlin. I believe that Paris is going to be a Silver Ladder city, but the Free Council is also very popular there. I've also decided that Alistair Crowley is going to be (at least nominally) a member of the Free Council as I have decided that in game terms he is an actual Mage, in fact a fairly powerful Mage but I don't think he's going to be that involved in Mage politics as he is more concerned with Thelema. I still don't know exactly what to do with the Free Council, except that I want to explore it as an order.

Sorry for dropping so much lingo for you.

Concerning Michael Court

Sending my short fiction to my friend Michael is one of my favorite things, largelly because he always gives great reviews. I think I could easily count him among one of my few fans outside my family. I just sent him "Godot is Dead," and he went on about how much he loved it. It may just be because he always sends emails in huge font, but he did ask me "Are you SURE you're not copying these stories from someone else and making an absolute fool of me? It's not just that they are so intelligent, it's that they are so grown-up and witty." I can also back this up because whenever he talks about my stories he's practically as enthusiastic as me, probubly more because he's more openly emotional then I am.

Michael, as I call him, is an old guy I meet at the local coffee shop readings we used to have. He was writing poetry at the time, like most people who went and we would usually talk about things after at a bar. Once Seymour and I even managed to talk him into coming over to my place and we talked about writing and stuff. It was alot of fun, since I see Michael as a very important person in my life, an older wiser writer who has more experience in such things as poetry and the great writers and things that would involve wisdom. He's really a drastically different personality from mine, which is probubly a good thing because he is more upbeat then me and I can be a pretty dark and depressing person sometimes. Look at the last post to see what I mean, I found that funny and that was about an assassination attempt. A really lame ass assassination attempt, but still.

I can't really describe Michael's work that well. I've read a bit of a short story he wrote about a boy who was lost in the Amazon and alot of his poetry, which reminds me of Rumi, short and sparse and with a beauty of it's own that I don't appreciate as much as I should. We do have something of a minor compotition to see who will be the first one to publish a full length novel, so we'll probubly look over it at somepoint. I'd like to read over his novel since it sounds pretty interesting.

If All Obama's potential assassins are this stupid, then he's going to be okay

A friend of mine once showed me this sight called Fundees Say The Darnedest Things, which basically makes fun of all the crazy stuff Fundamentalists Say, such as the world is really 6000 years old and atheists worship Satan. Well, I'm looking through there sister sight Conspiracy Theorists Say the Darnedest Things, when I came across this attempt at Barack Obama's life. If you like dark humour then this is for you, but I must warn you there are some racist comments that I don't share. I found the overall presentation hilariously incompetent.

ok we have 6 days until my Presidential Assasination.

Yes, I have decided I will assasinate Barack Obama. It's really nothing personal about the man. He speaks well, has a loving although controlling wife and two cute daughters. But I know it's for the country's own good that I do this. And I'm not racist either, my family is a little, but isn't all Italian and european families? I mean how many times have you heard the word nigger in the comforts of your home? I have a lot, and it really bothered me and I would confront them about it. No, it's not because I'm racist that I will kill Barack, it's because I can no longer allow the Jewish parasites to bully their way into making the American people submit to their evil ways. How many of you Obama supporters are now disappointed after some of his arm-twisted Jewish appointee decisions??? Make's you think he's not really in charge(which he isn't). No it's the same old, same old filthy muther-fucking kikes who are
poisoning America, who have murdered thousands of innocent lives on 9-11-01, and
are thinking that they are going to get away with it again.

Barack, I view more as a sacrificial lamb, but the sacrifice MUST take place. He had good intentions, but like the Steve Taylor song goes, "a politician next door, swore, he'd set the Washington arena on fire, thinks he'll gladiate them, but they're gonna make him a liar."

So, I'm stuck here in Mississippi, and I'll need bus fare or some way of getting to Washington. I don't own a gun, so maybe someone can give me one. And I'll need a leak in the secret service to get a close up shot, somewhere close to the podium, since I've never fired a gun, so I need to get an easy shot off. Wattdysay fellas? Any help?

You all know we can't live with the jewscum anylonger, dont cha? You got a better solution? I'm all ears.

Stevie

(Note: This man was reported by an admin and arrested by the
secret service)

Alright, for those of you who missed this I am now going to go over what he did wrong.

1. Said he was going to kill the President of the United States on the Internet
2. SAID HE WAS GOING TO KILL THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ON THE INTERNET!
3. Said he wasn't racist then began to berate the Jews
4. Asked the nice racists hillbillies on the Internet for support. He asked for a gun, an opening in to shoot Obama from (which I presume he would get from the people who are trying to make sure this doesn't happen) and BUS FAIR! I mean, the gun and the opening was ballsy, but freakin' bus fair!
5. Used his name and gave a basic address (Stevie, Mississippi)
6. Gave a time frame of this (6 days)
7. Presumed the Fed were stupid.

I thought I'd just post this for my readers because the FBI shouldn't be the only people laughing at this guy.