Sunday, May 22, 2005

Not All Men Are Like This, Especially Me

This, I don't know for sure what it is, was on Steph's blog and I found it insulting. Anything in bold do not apply to me. The ones in italics have never come up.

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. (No one owns our garage, we just keep stuff in it)
Wedding plans takecare of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. (This is because I am Canadian and have Prime Ministers)
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress$5,000...Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or otherwise mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suit case.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips. (I am very skinny)
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can"do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Looking at this I realize that women can do most of this stuff. Hmm? This looks like a conspiracy

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

No it's not. Fnord

Steph said...

I'm sorry if I insulted you. It's just a joke. I know perfectly well that not all men are like that and I also know that there are exceptions to everything. There are a good many of those things that apply to me, tom boy that I am. That post wasn't meant to be taken seriously.

Steph said...

And I didn't make it up by the way, someone emailed it to me.

Dylan said...

The Fnord thing was me. It's a refrence to the Illumanati who are involved in various conspiracy theories.

Dylan said...

okay

Anonymous said...

Stop Commenting. Fnord

Dylan said...

Quite random figment of my imagine

Anonymous said...

Sorry. Fnord.