Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I'm Overworked, An Island Republic is planned and Ralph's Dead "Parrot,"

How the heck am I supposed to get all this homework done today. Okay, so I am probably over exaggerating the situation. I can probably get it done today, but it is driving me crazy. Me and the guys have done some talk and we have discussed our options. I changed my name to the identity I use for the blog, partially for my own safety, but partially so my Grandma doesn't have a heart attack while reading this.
Ralph: Hello Writer, how are you.
Me: We're moving to India.
Ralph: What?
Me: In India, I will convert to Hinduism. Become a yogi and I WON'T HAVE TO DO CAREERS HOMEWORK.
Ralph: Isn't that a little extreme. You were sick for two days.
Me: Stop siding with my educational assistant. I hate it when you do that.
Ralph: Well stop wining. We don't have the money to go to India.
Naous: Hello guys.
Ralph: Hey Naous.
Naous: What's with Writer.
Ralph: He's got three hours of homework.
Me: And with my ability to concentrate it will be twice as long, so I will be up until Eleven.
Ralph: Stop it, it's silly.
Me: Oh give it a rest with the Monty Python skits. Math class is over.
(Ralph pauses, then rises a little purse and takes of in an old lady out fit)
Ralph: HELL'S GRANNIES
Naous: What's with Ralph this time.
Me: At the end of math class I said that I don't see how factoring will help me in the long run. Then my math teacher Mr. Armstrong said that I was just being discriminatory about math because he thinks Latin won't affect me as much. It was very surreal and said it was like being in a Monty Python skit. Ralph has been of on a rant all day. Look in my locker.
Naous: What is it?
Me: It's a log.
Naous: Why is it nailed to a bar in a parrot cage. Ohhh, It's supposed to be a...
Me: Yes
Naous: Well he got the basic idea. You think he will go far?
Me: No, he's wearing high heals.
Naous: So, you have homework, huh.
Me: Yes
Naous: Well, it's not that much. You can handle this.
(Ralph returns)
Ralph: You know I never wanted to be a granny.
Naous: Well, I hate to break your illusion but...
Ralph: I wanted to be, a Lumberjack.
Me: Oh God.
Ralph: Leaping from Tree to Tree. With my best buddy at my side, We'd sing, sing, sing.
(Ralph starts singing something to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson,")
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Cheers to you, Spider Robinson
Know how 'bout you buy us another round
Ow, ow, ound
Pikachu, Walrus and Carpenter
Seahorses and Bunnies are at play
hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey
Naous: What the heck was that?
Ralph: Pardon?
Naous: Weren't you going to sing the Lumberjack Song?
Ralph: I can't remember the words.
Me: Well those weren't the lyrics to Mrs. Robinson, either.
(Pause)
Ralph: I have a dead parrot in Writer's locker, I can go...
Naous: Seen it, it was a log.
(Ralph sighs)
Me: We should move to an island.
Ralph: What?
Me: An island. Were no one will ever bug me again.
(Pause)
Ralph: I have $3.62, two buttons and a paperclip. How much do you guys have?
Naous: I'm a holy man. I'm not supposed to have money.
Me: negative eight dollars.
(Pause)
Ralph: See, I don't think that's enough.
Me: Well, we find an island that dosn't have anybody their, and move in.
(Pause)
Me: It will have to have lobsters, we can eat lobster every night.
Ralph: How many people will be coming?
Me: Well, there's you two.
Naous: Djidjo will have to come.
Me: Okay, four.
Ralph: I may have a girlfriend.
Naous: Five, oh and will have to bring Charlie with us.
Me: Six
Naous: And I just got a cow.
Ralph: Pardon?
Naous: Well, I am an avatar of the Hindu god Shiva. I figured I might as well get one. It keeps the pilgrims happy. Want to take a picture of me and the cow? That sort of thing?
Ralph: They take pictures?
Naous: Not really, they can't afford camera's, but you get the idea.
Me: Okay, Seven.
Ralph: What if Daina and Kaylynn want to tag along?
Me: I'm okay with them, but they'll have to drop back on the priestesses and entourage. Preferably none, we don't want many people there, that's the point.
Ralph: What about all those gods we know?
Me: Well, they can come too. Most of them are so powerless know they have stopped being jerks
That is basically what happened yesterday. Sorry posting this blog took so long.

3 comments:

Dylan said...

seroiusly. I do have negative eight dollars. I have a library fine.

Steph said...

That stinks...*sympathy* But your conversation with Ralph nad Naous was very amusing! :)

Dylan said...

thank you