I Am Remodernist

Better make this quick, since there is going to be an outage at 2:00 AM in California. As many of my readers may know I am looking into the art movement Remodernism, which is in protest against conceptual art and spritually bankrupt postmodernism. As I am a writer, and most Remodernists are painters this causes some problems, but thankfully Remodernist is a do-it-yourself movement. I imagine that if I am writing something then it should have a plot and get an emotional reaction and have something interesting to say about humanity and the world it inhabits.
Anyways, awhile ago I wrote an email to the folks down at Stuckism International, which is the head-quarters of the first Remodernist movement. They're British. Anyways, They gave me a reply today about getting involved in their movement. This just has contacts I should make, with some guys called Jesse Todd Dockery and Bill Lewis, who I will contact as soon as I can. They're involved in Remodernist literature or at least interested in it. I'll be sending them emails as soon as I can. I might even send them copies of my work, or at least tell them if they're interested I'll send over a few short stories or poems. I really hope that this could liberate my voice as a writer, because if I am to be a truelly great writer then I'll need my own voice, something that people will read and say "Oh, they're is Dylan C.G. Thomas. This is a Dylan C.G. Thomas book." I want my last name to be an adjective. Also, it is about time Postmodernism was taken down and we put up another major theory for a few decades. Remodernism seems as good a movement as any. Also, one of it's major proponents, Billy Childish, has a few novels and poems out. I'll have to get them and see if there any good.
In other news I am slowly getting my outlines for my English exam statred. I have finished one, and worked a bit on two today although I only got any meaningful detail done on one, mostly because I would like to write that one so I can complain about David Antin, who I think is a smug bastard who dosen't know what it really means to be a real wordsmith. If Remodernist painting is against conceptual art, then Remodernist literature is against David Antin, and John Cage to, because that whole "Writing Through the Cantos," thing I had to attempt to read was just a trick and one I am not amused by. So Ezra Pound is odviously seen through his art. So what? Art should have ego in it and if your so obsessed with the elimination of the ego then don't get involved in art.

Well, that's about it. Have a nice day.

What Happened After Easter

Well, I was in a bad mood when I mad that last picture. I'm going to need to blog like crazy to get it out of sight. It shouldn't be to hard either since I've got stuff to talk about. I saw West Side Story, which was alright. It wasn't that impressive and I was with a friend of mine who has been a professional actor so I did get to here everything that the people did wrong with it and now I have an image of what West Side Story would have looked like if my friend was directing or doing something and that is way more impressive then the one that I watched. Kind of looks like "Do the Right Thing," only without as many black people and swing and latin music instead of Public Enemy.

Also Easter turned out to be pretty good. I ate most of my weight in chocolate it seems and since I go to a pretty laid-back Church we watched "Chocolat" which was a pretty cool movie. I was really ticked off at the priest for not showing any backbone until the end and I may have called him a whore of the state in my mind, I hope I called him a whore of the state in my mind as laid back of a Church as I go to I don't think that would have gone over well. I also ended up watching "The Secret Life of Bees," with my family which was a very good feel good movie. I don't know how far Dakota Fanning's career can go after this because she's starting to loose that cute kid vibe. I'm not a movie expert, so I probably shouldn't go into to much detail on her future career. I also tried to watch a Russian movie called "Andrei Rublev," about an icon painter in Medieval Russia but I feel asleep because it was in Russian and black and white and I was to tired to deal with what appeared to be deep philosophical undertext, so I'll have to rent it another time. That's all I really feel like blogging about at the moment, so I hope this keeps you all informed.

What's So Good About Good Friday?

I'm honestly thinking that at some point I may stop being a Christian and it will largelly have to do with Easter. There is something horribly masochistic about a religion that commemorates the death of it's founder and GOD with his execution, says it is all for the best and then goes and calls the day after he was killed Good Friday. This is ugly, fatalistic and pretty messed up when you look at it.

I'm honestly doubting if I was ever really Christian. Thank God I live in this time period because I'd be killed if I brought this up anywere else, or at least ostriszed from society which may not be totally bad. But I don't think I'm a Christian, just because I can't wrap my head around this whole Crusifixtion thing. How can we celebrate what is essenstially the state and church sponsered murder of an innocent man as the redemption of mankind and still accept the concept of original sin, least aways create the concept of original sin.

So, I'm still looking for a new religion. In the end I may end up with syncretism. I just would like something to believe in that isn't a human personality or have a long history of lies and confusion. I hope this doesn't make me vulnerable to brainwashing cults.

Elaboration on Short Rant

So as you may have read from yesterdays post, I'm worried I don't have enough experience to be a good writer at the moment. This is a problem as the themes that I plan on writing involve revolution, God and our relationship with God and various other Metaphysical concerns. I'm cool with it now, but I think I should go over it.

To deal with this I'm going to try writing short stories from my own experience. I'm going to write things about my friends and family and the life that goes on here. I'm still going to write my more fantastic material, but at the moment I'm going to try writing at least three people stories involving my home town. I think I got two of them, but I think they can easily evolve into science fiction mysteries, sort of like "Fringe," which I watched last night. God that's a great show. Maybe I could write four or five over the summer. That would be awesome, and maybe the two short stories about Naos and Helen and one with Jack Monsairty.

I'm just talking to a friend of mine, we'll call him George Ripley. He's a science guy and he was telling me that I'm ahead of my time because I'm autistic and don't drink coffee or alcohol or take drugs. As such he says I'm evolutional ahead of my time or something like that. I don't think I understand what he said or even if it's true, but it makes me feel a bit better about my place in the literary canon.

Short Rant

My ultimate goal is to become an Artist. This will mainly involve writing, but I plan on seeing if I can work drawings in as well. At the moment I've put my novel on hold, and I'm thinking about writing short stories about my friends at home. So far I'm at a creative slump. I don't think University was helpful in unleashing my writing, so far it seems to have suppressed most of it and here I go again whining about how I haven't written as much as I feel I potentially can and now that I'm home I can't help but complain and complain about how I haven't reached my full potential as a writer. I'm 19 God-damn it, I need to live more then that. I want to be a writer so bad, I need to go out there and live I need to experience things. I need to know how to live, to find experience and take that back with me.

So, other then that things are going well for Dylan. I'm doing well and await my final English Exam. I'm also reading The Brothers Karamazov and a Kinky Friedmen novel. Boy are my readings varied.

Going Home

I'm going home today. I'm going to come back two more times for school, maybe more for the Changeling LARP. They've finally called me about it, and I hope I can get in on it.

Well, what can I say about my first term. It had it's ups and downs, but I'm a bit worried about were it is going. Mom is talking about it like it's work, which I don't think University should be. I think University should be more fun, because I'm learning all kinds of new things. I'm not even sure that I should think much about work after reading Pieper. I think I'm going to keep my copy of "Leisure, the Basis of Culture," since I think it has some good points. My religion books and the Plato Dialouges I'm going to give to the Campus Used Bookstore. I'm also keeping all the English books I got. Which would be "The Green Man," by Kingsley Amis, "Anglo-Saxon Attitudes," by Angus Wilson, "The Rebel Angels," by Robertson Davies, "Maus, Vol 1" by Art Spiegelmen, and "The In-between World of Vikram Lall," by M.G. Vassanji, because my mother would like that one. One thing I can say about University, by the time I'm out of here I'll have a much more varied library.

Now of course, there is the issue of finding a job. I'm not going to completely bang that idea, because I don't have much experience with jobs and as such can't be called to make any large judgements on them, and it would give me something to do and money. I don't really have much drive to be a working man however. I want to be a writer and that is all. I'm also starting to wonder if being a career writer is a goal. That isn't to say that I don't want a career as a writer, but I also don't want to have a career as anything else. It's a bit confusing, I know. I've been reading alot of Remodernist Manifestos recently. Remodernism is a theory of art that is against conceptual art because of it's spiritual bankruptcy. I've been studying this and am trying to figure out if this applies to my work, or how I can become a Remodernist. I've never been involved in an actual art movement before, and I think Remodernism has some good ideas. The problem is it seems to be mostly made up of painters, so if anyone is going to figure out what Remodernist Literature looks like it's going to have to be me.

Play It Again Sam

It's late and I'm not really sure what I'm going to be telling you guys about. I'm very confident about the Ginsberg essay, I have six days till first term is over, oh and apparently I have to take an English Proficiency Exam on...the 7th of April, which is...next tuesday. After that it's home and in all likelyhood a job of somekind. I'll have moved out of my dorm, back into my room and will be getting short stories written. This will be a summer of short stories, since I'm going to give Last Dance Revolution a rest until such a time as I can write it, probubly when I find a woman who returns my romantic interests.

Well, that honestly seems to be it. Other then that my toe started bleeding after a long walk. I have a bandaid on it now though, so it's alright. I'm a bit unnerved by this. Oh, and I may be making a speech on my life as a person of Autism in September. Maybe someone could film it and I could put it up here on my blog. I'd have youtube videos...of me.

That's all, good night everybody.

Seven Days Till Summer

If there were any great legendary bloggers I'm sure that they would blog on a regular basis. Of course, if they were great bloggers, then they would simply great and only blog once a year but it would be such good writing nobody would care. But since blogging is more of a diary format for exhibitionists then it would probubly be more of writing close to every day, or at least banging out something on a regular basis.

Well, I suppose I can use the excuse that I have been busy not doing any school work. I am however, very close to finishing the Ginsberg essay. I have six pages out of the minimal ten, and I think I could easily get to that. Maybe even nine pages if I think of what else should go in here. At the moment I doubt if I'm writing mainly about poetic speaker, but I'm sure it could be read that way.

Also, my favorite home cafe has undergone changes. I wish I had before or after pictures to show you guys, but I never bothered to do that. I checked with the lady who owns this place, whom I will call Nora Dalloway, and she said it's alright if I show you how it looks from the back...

And here's how it looks from the front, with the owner Nora Dalloway.

Nora is the person with the blurry arms. Well, a friend just walked in, so I'm checking out.

I Found the Centre of Changeling Activity in Waterloo

Hey everyone. Special shout out to Shelia who disapeared for a long time and is back now. I thought she had gone, good thing I kept the link. Notice how I stole your idea for stealing pictures Shelia.

Well, I should be doing a tone of reading, but instead I'm back at Cafe 1842, which apparently is also the place were the Waterloo Changeling the Lost LAARP meets. What do you know? I've been meaning to get in on that, and I've been working through various characters. I've settled on a version of the Changeling character I had in a latter game, since he would work better here. I did some editing, and he's turned out to be something of a Dean Moriarty type character with some turn over from reading "The Savage Detectives," by Roberto Bolano, and I changed his surname from "Ryder" to "Faraday." So I'll be playing a Changeling car thief and poet with Amnesia, Nightmares and a lost girlfriend named Lucinda who he is desperatly searching for. He's probubly going to join the Spirng Court and write the occasional poem on other members. There's a bit about some Gorilla Warfare that took place before I came in that I'd like to write about, because that sounds fun. I might put it up for you guys.

So, while I've been sitting here I've been working out a plan for the week ahead, since I need to get alot done. As of yet it is incomplete, since I need to figure out how many pages of "The Inbetween World of Vikram Lall" to read per day. I'll have to check back at home. But today I'll have to do the following (at least).

• Read "The Squatter" for English
• Read the last bit of an essay in "Leisure."
• Write a response on how affective I found the Essay Workshop
• Work on my Ginsberg Essay

I'd say also read 25-50 pages of Vikram Lall too. So far it's alright I guess. To be honest these bildugsroman type books can be a bit annoying, since I'm reading about the guys childhood. Something about it reminds me of "Midnight's Children," only it's in Kenya and there's nothing involving various a thousand and one magic children. Both the main characters are Indians though, it's just that Vassanji's book is in Kenya. The British Empire would take Indians to India to work on railroads and put something between them and the native's spears. Or something like that. Anyways, I wouldn't call this one of the best novels I've read so far. I preferred Robertson Davies, maybe because I could feel more of an emotional connection with Davies and his mind set. Shame I can't meet him because he's dead.

Constantine's Sword Continued: The World and The Holocaust

We're discussing Maus in English, so I thought that this would be a good time to continue my thoughts about Constantine's Sword, this time dealing a bit with anti-semetism as I will be speaking about the Holocaust. For readers who are not familiar with the previous post, I am setting up a link to the first post here. I don't know if that post has much to do with this, but I figured it's related to the same topics, and I might as well add it.

So, the Holocaust and the Nazis have been popping up pretty often in my English course, which is why I'm writing this. This is a response to a question raised by my professor. I thought it would be a good idea to do this as a blog post. Maus is pretty directly about the Holocaust, since it's the memoirs of the author's father and his father's survival in Auschwitz, but imagery of World War Two and the Holocaust has been popping up in lots of places in our readings. We've seen it in the first three poems, which were there to deal with World War One, but we've seen reference to the Holocaust and the Nazis in Leonard Cohen, Sylvia Plath, Robertson Davies and probably a few others I've forgotten. Ironically, I also read Roberto Bolano's Nazi Literature of the Americas around this time, which while being a Spanish novel or anthology can apply to this. The question that my professor raised is, why does everything seem to lead back to the Holocaust?

I've been trying to understand this myself. It's not like people kill other people, heck this is probably going on right now. But why does this particular thing have so much affect on us. You could slap on a picture of a swastika to something and automatically that thing is tainted.

To be perfectly honest, I don't have any good idea why this is. In the absence of any rational exclamation, I will go on to non rational. My guess is that the Nazis made a giant psychic wound that we have no understanding of how they did it. They may not even have conciously known that they were doing it, except for a select few but those were all shot or activly trying to do this. Because of this hole in the fabric of the universe, our conciousness is trying to process all this information. Since the Nazis were at the right time and place in history to pull this off, they have been able to do this, and we are dealing with their psychic refugee. I really don't think something like this is out of the question. Some of the Nazis, especially Himmler were into weird magick-with-a-k stuff like this. I'm not saying this is there actual plan, but maybe I'm wrong about this more, and the fact I can apply something as heighnous as a gouging out the collective unconcious of mankind is just something that comes from this. Maybe that was what the Holocaust was, and since it got more press then other mass genocides it was given more precident.

Once, as a child, I had a fantasy world I would play in and fight various fictional enemies in. One of these were alien Nazis from another demension. I didn't really understand what the Nazis were for, at least not in the big picture. I knew that they were evil, and that was all that matters. This dosen't have to do with anything in this, but I thought it would be important to bring up. It may be important to note that they were also the opposite of my good-semi elvish species the Draan. I have recently decided that once I get around to creating the Draan language, Hebrew will be a major influence.

I'm Still Alive Everyone

I'm running against my own body and sleep deprevasion. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I have to write six more pages in my Ginsberg essay that I don't know if I can write. I know what I'm writing about, I just can't get my thoughts in order. God, I'm so tired. That's what I've been for the past few days. Tired, I feel almost Beat in the Beat Generation sense. I even had a religious experience that I'll write about sometime soon I hope. I have to run by what I've written on Monday to four other English students and I have a test on Aristotle in philosophy. Aristotle god damn, he's the scientist! Plato will have been the Platonic form of cake compared to Aristotle. All this talk about rational thought is making me sick. I don't even believe that rational thought exists.

I'm so tired of all of this. I don't know how I'll get through the end of the year. I feel like I could collapse at anytime from mental exhaustion. I feel like I'm going through my days in a daze. I'm so frustrated that I can't finish what should be such a simple essay for me. It's Allen Ginsberg god damn it. I read Howl before I even came to University. He's my favorite poet. I should have had this finished days ago, but I'm not and it dosn't look like it's going to be finished tonight.

I finished Maus, which was good. I'm supposed to have that read for Monday. At least I've got something done, I also picked up a book on Howl and dropped off a resume for a job for summer. Were, my mom and I, are thinking that this summer I'm going to forgoe any classes. The job is as a dishwasher and shouldn't be to frustrating. The place seems to be a good environment. Small, quirky. I could write a few short stories about it, even a novel. I'll read some Lawrence and Davies and Pound.

Who Reviews the Watchmen Review?

So, I just came back from the new Watchmen flick. I probubly should have seen this coming, another cheap rehash of an Alan Moore book.

Nah, I'm just kidding. The Watchmen movie is Awesome.

Well, I probubly should wait till the Awesomeness factor wears off so I can give an accurate review, but I'm a blogger so what does that matter. Most of these things have spelling mistakes anyway. Not only was it true to the spirit of Watchmen as is possible for the movie, it was also freaking awesome. The actors were good, and I especially liked the guy who played Rorschach. He did a very good job, and despite the fact Rorschach is a bit of a right-wing looney who spent way to much time looking into the abyss he is my favorite character.

Also, I want to make special refrence to the series of tableaus at the beginning of the movie. It did a really good job of mixing scenes from the Watchmen universe and the affect it hade on history. Scenes included Dr. Manhattan meeting with JFK, a shot of JFK being shot that pans out to the Comedian hiding behind a fence (not in the book, but possible), Andy Warhol showing his latest work "Nite Owl II" with Capote, and a reworking of that picture of the sailor kissing the nurse after WWII, only it's Silhouette who's doing the kissing and she's a woman. That must have caused some scuffle in the alternate history press. Best use of "The Times They Are A Changing," in a movie.

So, Watchmen. Good movie. Not the usual superhero movie, so parents don't take your kids. The characters are fetishists, sociopathic or largelly removed from the majority of the human race to the extent that they (he) is naked for most of the movie and moves of to Mars and builds a giant floating glass thing with his mind. Also, there is sex which is also a bit kinky considering that before hand the participants were in latex costumes. So, Watchmen good movie but it ain't Spiderman. It's much, much better in my opinion.

Hipsters and the Death of Cool

I'm back home. Thought I'd blog, since I haven't blogged since the thing on Constantine's Sword. I've got nothing else to say about that movie for now, but I figure I should get back to it at somepoint.

I read an article on the Adbusters website. It's about hipsters, who are apparently the closest thing my generation has to a counter-culture. Problem is, they are completely devoid of any of the aspects that pervious generations hade. There are no sparkling dynamos, no mad men dreaming of spiritual fulfillment, it's more of long partying, modern decadence and "alternative fashion." The article left me with feelings of apocalyptic dread, which usually happens after I read Adbusters.

Of course, now I must ask the question. Am I a hipster? I don't think I'm a hipster, but I'm living in a time when hipster has appropriated the term of cool. To be honest, I think the idea of cool is dead. Nothing is cool anymore, because everything is trying to be cool. Which brings me to the fact that apparently, advertisers are reading my blog to determine if I am cool, and remarket what they find. This is troublesome. I do not want my apperance to become that of coolness.

Thankfully, I have decided that I am going to do the reverse of coolness. I am going to get something that look's like a Monk's robe and walk around in that. If they're is anything that isn't cool, it's a monk. No offence to monks though, but you guys really don't match up to what is generally considered cool. Therefore you should take that as a compliment. Therefore, I am going to be a coolness aestetic. I will see if I can talk my mom into getting me a large monk's robe, which I will walk around in. Mind you, it won't be an actual monk's robe, just one that will look kind of like a monk's robe. I'm pretty sure wearing an actual Monk's robe consitutes pretending to be a priest. Are monk's priests? Well, I'm going to probubly end up wearing monkish robes.

Constantine's Sword: Thoughts

I kind of wonder what this movie has to say about my faith. I don't talk about my faith a lot, or my relationship with God. I admit we don't talk much, I don't know if that is a bad thing. The last time I can remember writing to God was when I wrote a poem about the fears I had about not being a good writer. I think that is a perfectly acceptable thing to ask God. You don't see many great Satanic novelists.

Anyways, I'm woolgathering. I just watched a movie called Constantine's Sword, which is largely about the history of Anti-Semitism in the Catholic Church, but also talked a lot about the life of James Carroll, who wrote the book on which this movie was based and is also the main character if you have those in documentaries, and Evangelism in America. The Evangelism ties nicely into the Anti-Semitism, because it talked a lot about Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ movie and a MegaChurch in Colorado Springs that was Evangelising to the Air Force. There was a scene where a pastor that acted kind of like some pop musician did some prayer service for a bunch of kids that had very militaristic overtones. This made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Anyways, I've been thinking about my identity as a Christian. As much as I don't like to show it, I'm a Christian more then anything, but I feel at odds with mainstream Chirtianity. As far as I'm concerned, Chirstianity sold out to The Man and I feel a great deal of contempt for that, especially after watching this movie. The treatment of the Jews alone by the Church, and the fact that most Christian leaders have done little or nothing to apologize makes me want to tear the first cross from whatever wall or necklace it's on, and stamp it into the dust.

Anyway, know I bring up my issue. How does this movie affect me? I'm pretty sure that it does affect me, even though I could concievably hide behind my Mennonite sect. Odds are, while Mennonites are largelly free of starting any wars (at least none that I know off), they did stand by for wars and a couple may have been anti-semites. But to be honest, while I am a Christian, I don't think of myself as a pracitsing Mennonite.

Ah, I'm tired. It's late. I'm going to bed. I'll write more tomorrow.

The Importance of Finding A Waterloo Cafe

I've decided that today will be a day where I finally look into finding a cafe to frequent in Waterloo. The criteria for finding a cafe in Waterloo is simple, that it should provide cheaper services then Revel back home. I think that the one I am at curently, Cafe 1842, may be a good provider of this.

I don't really know why finding a cafe is important to me. I think it is part of my image as a writer, that I should hang out in cafes. I don't know if this is all writers, or just a certain kind of writer, but I feel that I am the kind of writer who should hang out in cafes. As such, there is a certain level of involvement in finding a cafe that one should frequent. I think Hemingway wrote a bit about that in "A Moveable Feast". I need to read that sometime.

The use of cafes is psychological though. I fear that it may have something to do with subliminal aspects of how a writer should act. I'm still consuming, I have bought a small hot chocolate, since my mother says that if I go into a cafe then I should buy something gull darn it. Well, I bought a hot chocolate, so that factor is taken care off. Still, is it a bad thing that I am consuming in the name that I look like a writer when I don't write enough? What is writing enough? Three pages of prose? One poem a day? I wrote a poem recently and while I'm here I'm going to type it up and send it around, see what everyone thinks. I'll probubly even manage something while I'm here. And mom, dad if your reading, don't worry. I do plan on doing stuff for English. I'm going to do a write up for Rebel Angels, and an outline for the Ginsberg essay.

Rethinking Mage Campaign (i.e. doing it in general)

I'm starting my Mage campaign and I'm starting to wonder if I should fold it know before it gets any worse. I don't know if I can fully run the game I want to run with the people I have available to me. I feel that if I were to properly do this, I would need to spend much longer thinking up what will happen in what building, what I want to use to represent what is going on and what it all means. I'm looking at running this game as a work of Art.

I can't do that with the people I'm using.

I honestly don't think that I'm on the same page with these guys. They don't act the way I think a Mage should act. Maybe I'm being to controlling, but the feel of the campaign is completely off. One of the guys is middle management and he's going to be staying middle management. I mean, what kind of sick bastard would continue to be middle management after having what amounted to a religious experience? I'm probubly going to fold in the entire idea of this campaign, wait until I can find someone who actually think the way I believe a mage should think, and then do this game. Screw middle-management types. No real supernatural being of any kind would work in middle management.

On My Growing Interest in the Late Middle Ages and Renaissance

Reading Week has come to a close. By tomorrow I will be back in the arms of my Alma Matre. Things are quickly coming to a head, as I have an essay to write and a philosophy test in the near future. I've decided that I am not a philosopher, or at least that the Ancient Greeks are not my area of expertise. I find most of Plato's writing to be dull and that they carry on for more then is necessary. When I read The Republic, I get bored and loose track of the conversation and when I read the summary I disagree with various points. This will probably be the last philosophy course I take.

It's time to take my major soon. I'm not really sure what it is I should choose. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a mix of English Literature and Religious Studies, but I've been thinking about looking into Medieval Studies. Specifically the bits right before or after the Renaissance. I don't know if I could take that more, but I think I'm more concerned with God then Man. Also, I'm getting a growing interest in the subject of the Middle Ages from all the books I'm reading. Stuff like A Confederacy of Dunces and The Rebel Angels, which deals a lot with Medieval Scholarship. I'd like to look deeply into the literature of this period, maybe even make it part of my thesis. Since I'm also interested in magic, as in the occult-hermetic practises, I'm probubly going to be looking in to see stuff about alchemy and kabbalah. Alchemy and Kabbalah are also appearing to be growing interests of mine, and I hope can learn something of them while I'm at University.

On Reading Howl for Carl Solomon

I'm reading Howl again. I'm only starting to realize what a great poem this is. I've read it so much this year I'm beginning to see what a huge poem it is. I've just finished reading it again, and it was like passing through somewhere I've been before and seeing things I didn't notice before and it's like "Oh, I don't remember you." Mind you, Howl is generally about madness and a soulless materialist society that leaves no room for dreamers such as Ginsberg so it's not exactly a friendly reunion, but the sheer immensity of Ginsberg's vision is intimidating.

The subject of my essay is going to be poetic speaker in Allen Ginsberg's poetry. This is interesting because the poetic speaker is, at least on the literary level, Allen Ginsberg. This appears to be something very common with the Beats, especially Kerouac. I just realized that I told you all about this. Oh well, that's about all that's happened in my life, at least dealing with my essay.

CONTINUATION

I just realized that I have more to talk about. While reading Howl again I realized, along with how immense Howl is, how little time we spent looking at it in class. I mean, it basically a class and a half and I didn't really wholley agree with my professor's interpretation, which was that Howl was something to do with the oppression of youth. Well, it is, but that's not how I would put it. Yes, this deals with the oppression of the young by the old, but there is also the aspect of a spiritual void. I need to check if Howl was written after Ginsberg's Blake vision, because Allen Ginsberg's status as a modern prophet is something I'd like to explore.

Reading the Hump Week Time It Is

I thought I had all my homework, then my Mom reminded me I have a major English essay that I should start on. So, at somepoint I'm going to settle down and bang out an outline. I'm really hoping I can do something on the poetic speaker in the poetry of Allen Ginsberg, since the poems of Ginsberg are a) an interest of mine and b) come from a very personal place in Ginsberg so it would be interesting to examine the nature of the poetic speaker in Howl and America, which are the Ginsberg poems that I read in this class, and also before this class. If I had the chance, I'd write a comparison with poetic speaker and narrator in Kerouac and Burroughs as well. I'm thinking that personal experience is a very important factor in the works of the Beats. This is pretty odvious with Kerouac and Ginsberg, as they're work is based on their lives. This is also applicable to Burroughs, but for the most part Burroughs uses more symbolic aspects then Kerouac and Ginsberg. Burroughs also wrote about personal experiences in some things in Interzone, like the time he cut of his little finger to impress a guy but in the story it was a girl.

Other then the fact I should have completed much more work then I have at the moment, things are going pretty well. I'm sleeping int till 11, I'm hanging out at my favorite cafe and it looks like poetry nights are starting up again here sometime. Things are pretty good. I'm also working on a short story, that I have a really good feeling about. I've looked into various publishing houses and plan on sending out Godot is Dead to somewhere soon. I'm also thinking about sending out my poetry to the New Quarterly. Things are looking well.

I'm also starting to wonder if Kerouac didn't have something when he was going on about spontaneous writing. Now, I'm not going to start applying this to my novels, but I think that maybe writing stream-of-conciousness poetry may be something to try out. I'll look into applying stream of conciousness poetry in my work and show you the results. As a beginning writer I should be experimenting with as many methods as possible.

Naos is a Jewitch!

You find the craziest things on Wikipedia. For instance, while fiddling around there I found out about jewitchery. It's Neo-paganism...for Jews! I know I havn't told you this, but I just want to say I love Jews. I love their religion, I love the sound of Hebrew, I love the fact that a Jew is similtaniously is a religious practise and an ethnicity which as a Mennonite I can relate too. If I had the balls, I'd become a Jews. Unfortunatly, I have tasted the sweet, sweet taste of bacon and I do not think I can give that up. But still, I have decided that Naos is going to be Jewish, hence the last name Ben-David.

Off course, Naos is not a conventional Jews. For one thing, he is also heavily tattooed so he can't be buried in a Jewish cemetary. Also, for awhile I decided that his mother was not a practising Jew, but a sort of neopagan. However, with the discovery of Jewitchery, I can reconcile Naos' Jewish identity with his pagan upbringing. Thank you Wikipedia for your help.

English Mid-Term

I'm tired. I want to go home. I want to sleep in a descent bed and not think about University for a week. It turns out I won't have to worry about it for a weekend however, and even then I still have to read the Republic. But the Republic is nothing I worry about, it's my English mid-term. I'm holding on to the end of the perverbial stick and all I want to do is to go to sleep for a few hours without the damn Ipod going of at 7:50 every day.

So in other news, I'm back to Aspie Diaries. I like that name better then Notes from the Bunker. This blog is going to be Aspie Diaries for years and years. When I have written the first four novels, then this will still be The Aspie Diaries.

And that's basically it. Aspie Diaries again, and tired and want to go home.

600!

Well, it's finally here. Post 600. It's been little over four years since I started this blog and my how far I've come. Here I am in University, a published short story that has meet with high praise (though only through people I know), and already I have a small circle of friends. Yep, things are looking good for Dylan.
Other then that, things are getting pretty heated. I have two tests this week, one in Religious Studies and one in English. The date of a Religious Studies test is as of yet unanoced because that's how my current RS teacher roles, but I'm pretty sure that today is the next test. After that I have a free week which will be spent mostly with reading Plato's "The Republic," which will be followed by a test on Tuesday about what we learned. I'm hoping to do much better on this test then the last Philosophy test I took. I got a 9.5 out of 21 on that one. Not pretty good, but I've been screwing around and winter isn't my good season. Mind you, I could just have been screwing around and overplaying this whole winter thing.
Other then that things are looking good. I have alot of confidence in the next tests. I'm feeling much more confident now that I've got a note taker in most classes. I have yet to get that done in Religious Studies mind you, but I think we're really close on that. Besides, Philosophy is the one I'm really worried about. It looks to be my hardest class this term, mostly because I'm not as interested in it as say Religions of the East, or 20th century English Literature 1945-present. I'm glad that I took the Philosophy and Religions of the East course mind you, because at the moment I'm seeing a few comparisons between Buddhism and Plato's The Republics, especially Plato's Metaphor of the Cave. I don't know if I'll take any more philosophy classes after this. Maybe the one on Existentalism and the one on Philosophy in literature, but other then that I'm going to stick with good old Religious Studies and Literature.

And to finish, please note the completely legitimate waking hour of 7:16 PM.

2, or Night Blogging Shouldn't Become to Much of A Problem

Sorry about the lack of postage recently, but I've been lazy. Anonymous, I read your comment and was touched. I hope your protests against the Chrurch of Scientology are going well.

Well, Thursdays as always are busy for me. Religious Studies, Philosophy, WoD and Social Activism. I'm really starting to loose interest in the WoD game. Mages are really annoying when you arn't playing one or another supernatural creature, especially when your character is your standard garden variety occultists, in which case they think your really pathetic. I wish we could go up against something like vampires, or werewolves for a change.

Also, I'm starting to think Hunter is my least favorite version of WoD rules. There's just something about being on the bottom end of the supernatural pecking order that dosn't help my enjoyment of fantasy. For awhile I've been thinking about setting up a Mage game, just because I've seen how the other people in my RPG group play Mage, and it just seems so, I don't know, not how I would do Mage. I think there is really room for really cool and weird stuff in Mage: The Awakening, like turn it into an Alejandro Jodorowsky movie. The thing is, I'm probubly going to be the only person that would get all the weird stuff. Consider the following...

NPC1: Welcome to the Consilium.

PC: Why is there a camel?

NPC1: Pardon?

PC: A camel, you have a camel beside reception.

NPC1: Yes. Yes, we do.

PC: Why is there a camel?

NPC1: (blank stare) Why shouldn't there be a camel? Are you feeling alright?

NPC2: It's alright, they've just awakened. They don't realize the Universe basically runs on symbolism.
NPC1: Oh, God. That's right. Takes me back to when I thought seeing a naked woman with a snake in each hand was impressive. My, how far we've
come.

So, yeah that would basically be my Mage campaign. Mind you, I'd work in a whole bunch of stuff about the Eternal Battle in the Supernal Realm and fighting the Seers of the Throne and stuff like that, but I'd do it in as esoteric a way as possible, because something in Mage: The Awakening tells me that that is the way Mage is supposed to be played.

In the University Department, I have a week to finish an essay on Arranged Marriage among Hindus in Canada. I've done little in the way of research, but I do have two sources, one of which is what appears to be a book bent on describing South-Asian Arranged Marriage in as complete a detail as humanly possible. I'm hoping my Mom and I can look over this tomorrow when I go home. By then I should have a thesis and the first paragraph done. It would also be nice if I could get the final paragraph done so I have some idea of where it will be going.

One of these days I also plan on sitting down and watching "El Topo" again. I can't remember when was the last time I saw it exactly, but I figure I should watch it again sometime. Probubly over Reading Week. It would be a personal thing, as this movie only really appeals to me. My sister Delila has some strange bias against Surrealism for some reason, she prefers Futurism which I find boring, mechanical and full of Facists. Surrealism has the potential to be more fun, even if Andre Breton was a bit of a dick.

Sorry, mix up, 3...

It's late, I know but I'm not in a good state. I feel overwhelned. Winter is always a bad time for me, I break apart easily. I'm skipping class tomorrow because I can't stand leaving this place. I can't stand the place I'm in right now. Sometimes I feel like this very building is working against me. I've socialized more then I ever have in my life and it's wearing me down. I'm falling behind in my schoolwork. This blog is all I'm writing and it's hardly what I would consider good literature.

I need to sleep now. If I can I'll write back tomorrow.

2...

I promissed myself that I'd get to 600 posts by the end of this month and by golly I plan on keeping that promise.

Education is kicking in and I'm not sure that I've got myself in proper gear. I just took a test in Philosophy and I'm pretty sure I didn't do that good. While it is still my first year I'm not going to decide that University isn't right for me just yet. Since a staight job isn't what I'm looking for I don't think dropping out of University will be my best chance, at least not yet when my body of work is around three short stories, four or five poems and the half-written first draft of a novel. Once I get my novel done and read as much as I can from the magnificent collection that is the Dana Porter Library, then I'll consider dropping out. Since there is quite a collection at Dana Porter and the speed of progress is going at the speed of human right's progress in China then I'm probubly going to graduate around that time.

In my extra corricular activities, I am working on developing what I am referring to as "The Salon." Basically me and two other people I mentioned, who I am also not going to name because I don't have there consent, will be meeting together to start a Salon. What this is, I do not yet now, but it connects to my Beat Generation Fantasies in some way. What will be a new look at art and the world is what I'm hoping for, or failing that at least getting as many artistic minds together as possible. Were were all going to meet is up for grabs at the moment.

I've been considering writing an Art Manifesto for sometime. This is a problem for me because,

1. I haven't yet worked out my theory of Art
2. Once I write "rules" for my Art then I am at risk of becoming stale.

The idea of becoming an "experimental" writer is a bit interesting, but I'm probubly not an experimental writer. I may experiment with genre and narrative form, but I doubt that makes me an experimental writer. I am going to play with narrative (multiple narrators, fictional biography, combining novel and TV serial styles), but these have already been done. I'm also not sure I want to be a Postmodernist, because as I have written before, Postmodernism needs to be replaced with something before it grows stale, if it hasn't already.

Recently I watched a documentary about Alan Moore, one of my favorite living writers. In it, he mentioned the Alchemical maxim or doctrine of SOLVE ET COAGULA, which means to take apart and then put back together. Alan Moore linked SOLVE, the taking apart of, with Deconstructionism and Postmodernism, and replied that COAGULA, putting it back together and said that he believes people should be doing that more. This could be the replacement to Postmodernism, this Coagula. I should try this, but the problem is I'm not really sure that I know where all the pieces have gone, or what I should build in the place of what's been Deconstructed. Maybe I should deconstruct my own literature and then put it back together again.

3...

Thursday was my WoD game, which as some of you may know I'm trying to play as a pacifistic character as possible. So far it's pretty good, though admittedly most of the time my character, Ezekiel Talbot, has been in the hospital for being mauled by a walking corpse. (He isn't saying zombie because he's an occultist and as far as he's concerned, zombies are poor possessed people from Haiti who are relatively harmless). So far the only real damage he has done to anything is himself because he failed a resolve check when entering the area of Death, and thus had to try killing himself in some kind of way. Since he doesn't carry any weapons it was pretty easy. After my character tried to crash the car the other characters decided to keep an eye on me. I'm thinking about giving my character advances in Psychology and making him the back-up exorcist for the group's Priest character.

On another note, I have returned to my hometown for what is basically a day. It's nice to be home, because my favorite cafe is home as well as a decent bed and shower. I actually feel clean after taking a shower at home, where at Conrad Grebel my skin just feels funny. And a tempurpedic mattress beats the old hard thing back at Waterloo any day of the week, especially Fridays and Saturdays when I actually use it.

But this weekend is not just about fun and games, I have much work to complete. For instance I've got a test in Philosophy on Tuesday. I need to look over everything I learned to prepare. This may be a bit difficult, as I haven't really paid as much attention in Philosophy, and it's hard to take notes because the teacher goes really fast. I haven't got note takers yet, but once I get all the forms filled out I'll have one.

Notes are really hard for me to take in class because when I finish them, the teacher has long gone on from that and I'm still on something that was said long ago and I've missed something really important. My way of interpreting information is like a quine line and when teachers try to give me information and I write down I can't do it. The information trips up on itself and I need to just listen. That's why note takers are so important to my education. Mom says that one day I'm going to need to stop using note takers, but I don't know if that will be possible.

I missed Barack's speech

Yeah, what would be one of the most important events in my external life and I missed it. I had class as it turns out. I do plan on seeing if I can't catch it on the CNN website. Thank God for the Internet.

For the most part I spent yesterday in a state of exhaustion. Since I've been getting up at 7:50 each morning I have been and getting to bed at past midnight. Yesterday I was basically exhausted. I'm not sure how I got thorugh the day. I went to bed ata round ten or nine I think, after watching Miller's Crossing. I have to return that to Generation X today, and will probubly do so after Community Supper. Miller's Crossing was a very good movie, bye the way. I recommend it to everyone. Whatever the Coen Brother's Early period is, then that is one of the crowning jewels of it, though the best film of that time would probubly have to be Barton Fink.

The desire to organize my time still remains a precident for me, but I am also unwilling to sit down and actually do it. It would be invaluble to me, I know, but I still won't do it. I want to be able to do my actual writing, and if I were to organize myself I would have a better chance of doing that, but still I'm doing nothing.

First Day of Tango Lessons (belated)

Sunday was free Tango and Swing Lessons. As many of my frequent readers may know, I took some Tango lessons back in my High School days and I was hoping to get back in the swing of it. Seems that my old Tango teacher and the new one have drastically different styles of teaching. I'm not sure which one I prefer, because with Max you just jumped right in, where as here we don't even get to use our hands. I have to press my chest up against my partner, which is a little frustrating but probably how the dance works. I'm still a bit frustrated because I don't really have it set.

On another good note I made a new friend. She was my dance partner for bits of the independent dance. We ended up hanging out most of the night. She's pretty cool, from Toronto and has a very jubilant nature that rubbed off on me. As usual, I will not name her derectly, but I think I gave her the address to my blog. If not, I'll email it to her.

Also, in more recent news, it's Obama's Inaguration. I have no idea when it is. It could be going on right now. I hope that I can see it, if not for only the historical factors involved.

The Big Winter Semester House Meeting Hoohow

I really like the idea of posting pictures with my blog. I'm not sure why but it makes it look more interesting, though I admit that I'm just taking pictures of myself using my camera right now. This may in fact be one of the major pictures as I would like the picture in question to have something to do with the topic and the topic I blog the most about is myself.

So, tomorrow is the big get together at the WPIRG, which is the local youth activism organization on campus. This will take place almost immediatly after my WoD game, so I have a very busy day tomorrow. I'm not praticularly worried however, since Friday all I'll be doing is handing in an essay I'm very close to finishing. Well, essay isn't the proper word since it's only supposed to be three to four pages long. I have vague recollections about a time when an essay was that long, but that should be impossible, because everyone knows essays have six to ten pages and footnoting. Oh, those dark savage days with no footnoting, when man had to rely solely on MLA to write his essays.

Well, other then the essay things are pretty good. My only real problem is that I'm not talking to the Dons this week and I'm not sure that they got the message. Why am I not talking to the dons you ask? Well I'll tell you. It was the big house meeting at the beginning to the semester when everyone gets together to hear the rules. I find this annoying because I already know the rules and I had to put jeans on (One of the many advantages of having a single room). It is apparently a tradition of the dons to pull a Weird Al and rewrite the words to a major song that everyone will recognize and relate it to the duties of being a don. This semester was Kate Perry's "I kissed a girl (and I liked it)." (Spit). Since I was already ticked off, and Kate Perry (spit) has total irrelevance to me at best I am not talking to any of the dons until Monday. If anyone from my residence is reading this, and I know some of you are, please tell the dons about this new development. I am sorry, but I'm sticking to my principles, no matter how much they make me look like a snobbish University Arts Major who reads Artaud and Apollinaire and attends weird perfomance art things.

Coach's Midnight Diner

I was going about Duotrope's Digest awhile ago when I came across something called Coach's Midnight Diner. It's an anthology that is basically Christian fiction with balls. The stories are gritty, dark and take as much from noir fiction and Lovecraft as C.S. Lewis. I'm very tempted to write something up. Heck, I could probubly write a book on this subject. There is one problem with this, I'm worried that I'm not exactly Christian enough to get published here. I believe in God, and I think Jesus is a good guy but I'm just as likely to study Sufism and Tarot. I figure since I like the basic idea of Christianity, so I could probubly send something over to him. If there still taking offers. Either way, if I here anything from this I might send them a copy of "Cattle Man's Folly," or some other thing I've written up.

Semester Two First Week in Review (Sans Friday)

One of the great things about my new laptop is that it has one of them new fangled camera thingies. Mind you, the quality of the image isn't the best, but it gets the basic job done. Like my new hat? With my coat and scarf it makes me look kind of like a Russian Communist before they actually overthrew the government, except without the red.

Well, it's been the week in which I adjust myself to University again. It's been alright all around. The last World of Darkness campaign I was in sort of fell apart because most of the people were out, but I ran into a new one today. It seems to be a larger group and we havn't really gotten all together as of yet, but I think that we will next session. I just realized that there is a bit of scheduling difficulty on my part, so I'll have to tell the group that next time I get the chance. I was supposed to meet up with a friend tonight, but I think something is getting me wrong or she was mistaken with the address of where we were meeting because I'm sitting right where she asked me.

So short story, things look great accidemically, but I'm having difficulty hanging out with my last social network.

Awareness Test

This is freaky awesome.

I Meantime To Postage on New York But I Had Noticeable To Sayable

Tomorrow I return to University. I'm pretty psyched to return, since I got some pretty awesome courses lined up. I do need to pick up the books that I need for my course. I'm not sure what these books are exactly though.
My new laptop is broken. I may have gotten into explaining this, but I have one of those new Acer laptops that a couple of you may have seen. The real small ones, the baby laptops, yeah those are the ones. Well, mine isn't doing that well at the moment. It's frozen up as is my complete body of work, all two short stories and three poems, not to mention the one short story I was working on. I hope that my Uncle can fix it.
I ran into some old friends and we talked a bit about my writing, most notably Last Dance Revelation or Revolution. Anyways, she (it was a she) said that it sounded more of a movie, which is something I think she mentioned before. To be honest, I think she may have a point. The story does deal a lot with film. There is the issue of how I'm going to get the money once I film it, but I think that maybe Last Dance Revelation could make a good movie. I'd have to trim it down, read a couple of screen plays to see how they work, and probably take a few more film classes, or if I can't do that then I'll have to start going to Generation X and the Princess Cinema to learn more about movies, not to mention reading my entire film text book.
I'd have to do a lot on the movie. If I'm going to write it, then I'm also going to direct it. I don't want some chump messing up my story. Someone I know told me that there are a lot of good Independent Companies in Canada, and maybe I'll hook up with them. There's also a film club at Waterloo, I could probably sign up with them, see if I can't learn anything.
And finally, the strangeness of the title is part of a surrealist game I did on a lark. I replaced the words I wanted with the word in the dictionary it was under. I may do this more often, next time I'll do the twenty-third word under maybe.

You Can Never Go Home

For most of what has been the Holiday Season, I have not felt in the holiday spirit. I have been, for the most part nervous and edgie. My socials skills have not been the best and a few times I have been rude. When this happens this usually means I'm uncomfortable. I discussed this with my parents and they said that technically I have no home at the moment. I'm on the verge of moving out, though I do come home on weekends, but either way when I stay to long I begin to miss the other place. I had the same problem during exams with serious homesickness, at one point I didn't even want to go back to University but I don't want to live at my old home either.

So anyways, as with all Christmas posts, I'm going to give a list of all the stuff I got. Since I had only two things that I praticularly wanted, and I got both of those I suppose it was a good year. I might not ask for anything next Christmas, but that dosn't seem likely. So here's the list

• The Films of Alejandro Jodorowsky box set
• Carnivale Season 2
• The Penguin Book of Hebrew Verse
• Hiro Bobblehead
• A Confession, by Leo Tolstoy
• A book about books
• Two note books
• New Pencils
• The Traditional Terry's Chocolate Orange
• Three sweaters
• 25 dollars worth of Itunes I have yet to spend
• The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman

That's all I can remember, but I like lists and this is something that I do at Christmas and Birthdays or when I buy used books.

Christmas Eve '08

Well I had to blog about this eventually, it's Christmas Eve and tomorrow all the kiddies who have well-off parents are going to wake up to see Santa Claus has left them presents. It's a time or warmth and cheer, and as such I feel especially uncomfortable when family members argue loudly about really minor stupid things like cleaning rooms and stuff. Mind you, I would probubly find it annoying if they were overtly cheery on Christmas, but still we'res the Christmas cheer.

I'm starting to think that the entire idea of Merry Christmases are something that big buisness has sold us on. I hate to get all Marxist, but I'm probubly going to blame the Catholic Church on this one too, since they were the guys who organzied Christmas as Jesus' birthday, but they arn't as guilty as big buisness.

Besides that, I'm not really concerned with Christmas. The entire holiday just sort of snuck up on me. Now it's all in my face and I'm thinking shouldn't I be more excited. I don't really feel excited at the idea of getting swag tomorrow. Earlier this year I even considered not getting anything. You know, just not getting any actual presents. For myself mind you, but I caved because well, free stuff.

Well, that's all I have. It's the Christmas season, emotionally unsatisfied, getting presents.

A Psueodonym?

I've been thinking about adopting a pseudonym. As many of you may be aware now, my full name is Dylan C.G. Thomas, as seen through my as of yet undeveloped websight. I have always felt some difficulty with this name however, because there is already a writer named Dylan Thomas, who while being a couple things I'm not, such as national Welsh, a boozer and dead, still make me feel a bit uncomfortable. We both have the exact same name and as such I'm worried that we'll be mixed up, or I'll always be in the shadow of the other Dylan Thomas. As such, I've been thinking about starting using the pseudonym of Dylan Williams.

The name Dylan Williams is pretty good I think. Technically, it should be my last name because of some factors in my family tree I ended up with a different last name, but genetically I'm a Williams, whatever that means. Maybe one day I'll go to Ireland and track down my ancestors. But I really don't see much harm sighning my works Dylan Williams. I did find at least two other Dylan Williams out there, but ones a painter and the others in Sports. One of them even has a face book account, if not an unknown third, but I couldn't get to it. I would appreciate what you guys think of the pseudonym.

My First Short Story

Published this thing before I wrote anything by accsident. How's that for you.

Well, two big things happened tomorrow. First, I finished by first semester of University. When I go there next year it will be a whole new ball game. I'll be taking a philosophy class, a course on Eastern religion and the follow up to my English course. For the next two weeks I don't have to worry about papers or essays or anything.
Second, my first short story, Cattle Man's Folly, has been published at The Oddville Press. Go here to download Issue Two for your very own. It's free and has other stories you can read. I'd like to thank everyone who helped, which would by Steph for giving me the place to publish, everyone at Revel for being my test audience.

So it has finally happened, I'm a published author. This excites me alot, since it's actually like I'm a published author. I should be working on a bibliography. I know it's only one story, but I feel I should be working on that. I'm going to publish this before my screen blanks out again.

More Wold Newtonness

I've got a picture up because I feel my blog looks more interesting if I have a picture up. The problem is that I usually talk about personal stuff, and thus I don't have much else to talk about. Thankfully, I have my interest in Wold Newtonry, which is where this picture came from. It's also the cover for the Wold Newton book that I can actually sign out from the Library. I have it out now, and I wonder if I'm the only person to actually sign it out.

The good news is that I've got access to the two founding documents in Wold Newtonry, Tarzan Alive and Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life. Granted, I don't have them on me, but I know where they are and have had access to them. They're in the rare book section of Dana Porter and as such I can't sign them out. However, they do offer a pretty handy in my Wold Newton family tree. I've been putting one together over the last few days, using mainly the internet, but it helps to have a print source. Since I have a major exam tomorrow, and will be leaving for home in a matter of days, I don't think I'll be able to get ahold of them for a few more days. I do plan on doing some extensive looks into them next year however.

Other then that things are good, I know where my exam is going to be tomorrow, which is good. It's not going to be in the Office for Persons with Disabilities, or OPD as it is called by most. It's in a building in the math room. I have a good feeling about this exam. I'll just be glad when all this is over and I can go home and relax.

Homesickness

I want to go home. I'm in the middle of Exam season and all I want to do is go home. I'm tired, frustrated and havn't been getting to sleep at a decent time and havn't written any of my fiction. I have the time know, I could easily do it in between studying for my English Exam but the well is dry. I have so many ideas and I don't know if I'll be able to write them all.

Mostly I just want to go home. I feel sick of University and need a long break, preferably one where I can write something. I had this idea for a story in which I have writer's block and have to fight this monster that lives in Conrad Grebel, comes out at night disguised as a janitor and plants it's progeny in the walls of the residence. It holds a special item that will give me back my abbility to write. Also I plan on getting back to writing "The Last Dance Revolution." I really hope that I can write that one, because I don't know if I have the neccisary experience. The book is a love story, and I've never been in love. I'm also worried that the novel won't be as good as it can be because I'm still a young author. Maybe I'll just work on it for most of University, clean it once I graduate and have it published. During that time I could aslo get the First Four all written up, make long details for the plots and characters and how the novel is going to be presented. I'd like to use different ways of presenting a story. I think multiple view-points is going to be a method, and I have at a false document as a novel.

Upcoming Events

This is an interview Alejandro Jodorowsky made for his upcoming movie King Shot, which looks like it will actually come about.

And this is a little taster of what is going to happen in the next season of Lost.

Christmas Card from Tom Waits

Hey everybody, it's Tom Waits!

Wait, I just got an idea...

Alright, I just wanted to run this by you
Dick Cheney on acid. Should this happen? Discuss.

UES

I'm in a melancholy mood. I think it's partially the game I'm playing with the guys at Watsfic. It's my introduction into the World of Darkness, and my characters is a vampire. I'm really not liking the idea because apparently the entire point of vampirism is your damned. I don't want to play a character that is literally cut of from humanity. Why are people into vampires anyways, it seems to me that if there are vampires they must lead a very miserable existence. They're basically parasites. I feel very sorry for my character. I think I'm going to have him mysteriously disappear and rewrite him into my mythos, where they're aren't any vampires per say, but I kind of like the idea of what vampires are so I'll rewrite it in some way. I'm converting Dean, that's my character's name, Dean Gettys, into something else though. Maybe I could reintroduce him as that thing but I'd have to take it up with the Storyteller (World of Darkness talk for Dungeon Master).

In other news, I am discovering a new kind of stress. University Exam Stress, or UES. This is like High School Exam Stress (HSES), except that it slowly builds up over several days. I believe that UES is much worse then HSES, especially when you have an essay due Friday. Everyone says that I'm in a good place for my essay however, since I'm working on it and have a good idea. My English proffessor, who I'm probubly not going to see for quite some time as I'm done my first courses, said that I just need to write what I have down and ideas will come to me to flesh it out. I already have a page and a half of writing done, which is more then I expected. She probubly has a point.

I'm actually feeling a bit better writing all this down, I don't know why. I don't know why bearing my soul to you people makes me feel better. Maybe it's because I know most of you. Maybe I'm just secretly an emotional exhibitionist at heart and like people to know what goes on in the dark recesses of my soul. I always thought I had some perverse desire to share my soul with others, but I like to do it on my blog. That way it's kind of like I'm not actually telling you anything, I'm just writing it down.

Various Ponderings of TV in Two Aspects

If I could make a TV series I would. I would love to create an ongoing serial like Lost or Twin Peaks or Carnivale, something with an ensemble caste and something really weird going on. If I could I'd make the Big Novel that TV series, since it already has a large cast. I could probably even get it around three seasons, sat twenty-three episodes each. That would come of to around sixty-nine episodes. I could do everything I want with that story and more. But I don't know if it would be picked up, and if so someone would want me to tune it down or something like that. Maybe I could run it past HBO and keep it cheaper then Carnivale, which seems to have been one of reason it was cut. I'm fine with not even having that many scenes, it will only help the synchronicity.

Anyways, I'm also looking into getting back into the Wold Newton game. I plan on taking a look into the background of Dale Cooper, of Twin Peaks' fame, as well as taking a look into the alleged marriage of Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler.

I think that Dale might be a descendant of Holmes and Adler, possibly through Archie Goodwin. I'm having trouble finding many fictional Cooper's, but I did find two. First, Jed Cooper from the western film Hang 'Em High, and Anthony Cooper, who's Locke's father in Lost. Is Dale Cooper the son of Anthony Cooper? I've done some calculations on when Dale was born, which is 1956, the same year as Locke. My guess is that Anthony was married, produced Dale in this marriage and that Locke is an illegitimate child. The fact that Locke is an illegitimate child goes with what is shown in the Lost episode Cabin Fever as well as Locke's back story. I'm probably going to avoid making any more guesses about this, since there is very little information about Dale's past available. I'm guessing that Dale was aware of what his father was doing, was ashamed and that helped lead to his joining the FBI. I will also bring forth that Anthony didn't spend much time raising Dale and their relationship was probably never very close.

Legacy

I don't know if most writers have as clear idea of there career as I do. I already have four ideas for novels with an idea of the order they will be written in. They have titles, a basic idea of the plot (some are more well defined then others) and what kind of book they will be (in length, format, things like that). I think I can write them in the next ten, fifteen maybe even twenty years. Along with this I'm going to write alot of short stories. I want to be remembered, in addition to being a good novelist as a good short story writer, though I am probubly going to be remembered as a novelist I want to be known for writing good short stories.

I have titles for all four of my novels. Some of these titles may change and the order in which I will write them may also change slightly. All books will be connected by recurring characters, texts and concepts (ex. The Rosicrucians). But I have this very well-planned out. This is the list I have them currently in.

1. The Last Dance Revolution
2. The Lost Gospel of Joshua Nazrewsky
3. The Beat Hotel: A Mystery Novel
4. The Alchemist's Game

The Last Dance Revolution and The Lost Gospel of Joshua Nazrewsky are alike in that they are looking to be between 300-400 pages and have no traditional narrative styles. The Beat Hotel is going to be more conventional and I'm hoping short, something I could do for NaNoWriMo maybe. This I'm not so sure about what it will be like, all I know that Jack Monsairty is the main character and it's set at the Beat Hotel. The Alchemist's Game is the Big Novel, it has a name know. That is going to be an epic, granted one which will take place only on a few days, but with flashbacks that will involve most of the legendary time period that was the 1960s.

Before I write all these novels, not to mention what I hope will be alot of good short stories, I plan on doing alot of indepth reading of the classics. Writers I plan on paying praticular attention to are Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Joyce and Pynchon. Other writers I plan on reading are Ernest Hemingway, Paul Bowles, G.K. Chesterton, Salman Rushdie, William S. Burroughs, Dashiell Hammett, Samuel Beckett, Raymond Chandler, D.H. Lawrence, Herman Hesse, and Hunter S. Thompson. I'm also going to look into surrealism and possibly magic realism, since I my writing style seems to be turning towards some mutant branch of magic realism. I also plan on looking into poetry, since I am toying with the idea of being a poet. A poet seems to be the least commercial thing one can possibly be and since I am against commercialism on principle so I plan on learning how to become a poet.

After I write my first four novels and lets say fifty short stories I am going to continue to write, but I am not concerning myself with that stage yet. I plan on writing after that, though what I will write is unknown. I may write another novel on the scale of Alchemists Game, the hypothetical Really Big Novel. I may start writing straight epic fantasy. I may become a religious mystic, write mystic poems and write short mystic novels that espouse retirement from the world. I may not have anything published for a decade or two, publish the long awaited Really Big Novel, die and then have various papers I have written published, such as the various Wold Newton articles I hope to write published. I may write novels that will be even greater then the First Four. I may not write anything at all, but I sincerly hope not. I may write a romans-al-clef like Kerouac, but not to the extent he did. I may writer mystery novels under a pseudonym. I might write something under a psuedonym some day, to mess with people and make them think "Did Dylan write this?" I don't know what I'll do.

Funny Smells

Something about my room at University smells funny. Whenever I come in I get this funny feeling in my nose that says this place smells funny. I don't know what it is, but it smells like the fungus that grows out of to much sterility. My room is a bit to sterile, my mom and her friend who is also my spiritual mentor are going to help me redecorate at some point.

What I really need is an apartement where I can burn things in. Like candles and insense. I miss being able to burn insense in my own room. I wonder how long it will be until I can have my own place.