I'm running against my own body and sleep deprevasion. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I have to write six more pages in my Ginsberg essay that I don't know if I can write. I know what I'm writing about, I just can't get my thoughts in order. God, I'm so tired. That's what I've been for the past few days. Tired, I feel almost Beat in the Beat Generation sense. I even had a religious experience that I'll write about sometime soon I hope. I have to run by what I've written on Monday to four other English students and I have a test on Aristotle in philosophy. Aristotle god damn, he's the scientist! Plato will have been the Platonic form of cake compared to Aristotle. All this talk about rational thought is making me sick. I don't even believe that rational thought exists.
I'm so tired of all of this. I don't know how I'll get through the end of the year. I feel like I could collapse at anytime from mental exhaustion. I feel like I'm going through my days in a daze. I'm so frustrated that I can't finish what should be such a simple essay for me. It's Allen Ginsberg god damn it. I read Howl before I even came to University. He's my favorite poet. I should have had this finished days ago, but I'm not and it dosn't look like it's going to be finished tonight.
I finished Maus, which was good. I'm supposed to have that read for Monday. At least I've got something done, I also picked up a book on Howl and dropped off a resume for a job for summer. Were, my mom and I, are thinking that this summer I'm going to forgoe any classes. The job is as a dishwasher and shouldn't be to frustrating. The place seems to be a good environment. Small, quirky. I could write a few short stories about it, even a novel. I'll read some Lawrence and Davies and Pound.
No comments:
Post a Comment