The World According To Ralph: Valentine's Day

Well, It’s Valentine’s day. The day when young human men and women go around kissing and whatnot. I decided to do what I know of human love.
Love is an emotion common to most species. It causes them to do incredibly stupid things to impress another. I remember when I met my mate, Florana. I was a slave in the house of some major Cronullaban lord and I hade to fight this big pig thing because I was like a gladiator. So I didn’t, because Florana is An Elasyren Druid, and they are like total nature freaks. I got myself whipped continuously. Then, this is the good part, it turns out she wasn’t at the tournament.
This is funnier now.

Well, how does love effect the humans? . I am taken to the story of Troy, were a bunch of Greek dudes fought over some chick. Human mythology is full of love stories like this, Rama fought the demon Raka..., Rakes..., some demon guy to save his girl friend, Romeo and Juliet killed each other because they fought they were dead, Arwen forsakes her own immortality to stay with Aragorn. These stories plainly show the value your species has on love.
Again, my species places great value on love as well. Here are some classic examples of Tawazee love stories...

• The Book of the Goddesse The Goddesse is the head deity of my people. She takes the spot of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God, only she's a woman. In Book Twenty-Seven, the Goddesse goes on a quest into the abyss to find her mate. This is the first recorded Tawazee love story.
• The Bluemahanin Saga The Blueocean Saga is the story of the first Tawazee explorer, who came from the ledgendary homeland. He created th first ship under the guidence of Bhegucha, Tawazee god of the ocean. Bluemahanin discovered many strange and wonderful things, until he finally landed in Modern Hurgolanimm and defeated the Demon Kings that lived there. This is one of the many Tawazee pop culture refrences that I make and only I am able to understand.
• Anything by Geugha Kaylon Vesitol This girl wrote some of the most cliched love stories in the history of my people. Why menchon her do you say? Well they weren't cliched when she wrote them and when she write's them there good. I've only read the Spider and the Flame, but it was great. She also wrote a lot of poetry.
• Eskalia Eskalia is one of my favorite books. It fits quite nicely into science fiction, however my species refear to it as a futuristic Romance. Eskalia is considered one of the greatest works of Post-Cronullaban war liturature. It takes place in the future were the Cronullaban control everyone by mind power and a Tawazee killer is the only thing that stands between civilization and complete distruction. It's kind of like a cross between Clockwork Orange and the Matrix. Anyway, a large part of the story is derived around the main character's relationship with a younger woman and how it effects his ultimate destiny. Great read, unfortunaltly it hasn't been translated into human so your screwed if you want to read it.

Well, thank you for reading. Go home