For Steph: More Questions and Answers

I understand that things have been going a little hard for Steph, what with college and such so I did some more Q&A's. This may be a continuing thing. If readers have any funny questions to ask me please send them to naousshiva@gmail.com. They must have the following criteria.

1. Must not offend someone’s race, religion, nationality, gender or sexual orientation
2. Must be silly

And now, QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.

Q: Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?
A: Is this a D&D question? If so, I usually keep a few levels of bard because bard’s ROCK!!!!

Q: You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?
A: Uh, I can’t whistle

Q: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
A: Who cares?

Q: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?
A: Wait, isn’t a turtle’s shell part of it’s body? I think it is. So therefore a turtle is naked and this question is invalid. And what in the nine levels of hell does a dog enter into this.

Q: You've just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?
A: Who in there right mind would give me a manufacturing plant. I’m a writer for God’s sake. I don’t know a bloody thing about plastics and don’t want one.

Q: You laughed so hard you can't catch your breath. Stick out your tongue and show us what's funny:
A: BUNNIES!!!!!! Wait, there on my tongue, oh gross. (spit)

Q: If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?
A: Hm. I don’t want to be a hot air balloon. It doesn’t sound very pleasant.

Q: What kind of tape is best for creating a sculpture?
A: Not the transparent kind. Duct tape and that yellow kind sounds good.

Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
A: (pause) Um (another, longer pause) Could you repeat the question?

Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
A: (pause) because it’s stupid.

Q: You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
A: Why would it go to my head? Why would I write a musical? I don’t think that I could write a musical. It doesn’t strike me as something I could do. That would probably keep the fame out of my head.

Q: Aren't papier mache cuts the worst?
A: Oh yes, almost as bad as the Comfy Chair. (Monty Python reference)

Q:Compose the lyrics to a new national anthem that features an animal sound at least once:
A: Steph, remind me to do this as a separate post - Writer.