Official Challenge to the American Mustache Institute

It appears that I have garnered my first controversy over my writing. It appears that a group called the American Mustache Institute have sent me the following email.

We were disgusted to read on your blog that you shaved your mustache. Clearly, you did not realize - as it is written in the Dead Sea Scrolls - that each time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. Keep this in mind next time you commit a senseless act.
Carry on.
The American Mustache Institute

http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/

(877) STACHE-1

"...a mustache is a terrible thing to shave"
Disclaimer: AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individual's own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a "Dictator" mustache may lead to repeated beatings. Mustaches should not be worn by women who hope to find employment outside of waste collection or who are looking for male companionship. If your mustache causes
you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from
a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Unibrows, commonly referred to as "forehead mustaches," are not recognized by AMI. AMI does not support chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as they represent the "spousal compromise." The vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers. AMI strongly encourages consulting a physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression. AMI cautions against trusting clean-shaven officers of the law. If a mustache-free constable attempts to stop your vehicle, dial 911 and proceed to the nearest police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet you with open arms. Please consider the environment before shaving your mustache, and when considering your presidential choices in 2008, remember that Bob Barr is the first mustached American presidential candidate since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948.
*This was NOT sent from a Blackberry, as mustached Americans neither own, nor have the ability, to operate Blackberrys.

Apparently they have a website and everything. Since the American Mustache Institute is reading this blog, then I am going to say that I do not take you seriously and find your bias against the non-mustached as frankly anti-Mennonite. Not having a mustache is a symbol of my pride of coming from a mennonite background, and your accusations are insulting to my hertiage. I am calling you, Fuz lips. I thought that this may not be the look for me recently, but now that I realize that it has caused this much controversy, as well as generating this insulte of the honor of my mustache-less Mennonite ancestors who suffered years of persecution at the hands of (probubly mustachioed) Catholic and Protestant Churches. I will fight you with all I have, if not for me, but for the legions of mustache-less Amish and Mennonites who have probubly never heard of you. Bring it on, bitches!