Saturday, August 19, 2006

Oh God, oh God we're all going to die!

Just glanced through a copy of Adbuster's and it scarred the scrock out of me. The title I saw was called Culture of Death and it basically talked about how screwed we are, what with the environment screwing up and the wars in the Middle East and people out their are people saying that the world is going to run out of resources and civilization is going to collapse and right-wing nazi religious fanatics are going to take over the world and I don't want to die and I want people to look back on my writing and think, Hey he was a great writer.
I also fear that I am also part of the problem. I know I don't like all the shit that's happening in the world and I try to distance myself and bug my little sister about being a corparate slave to the American merchant-kings in New York or wherever they gather, but what if I'm just pretending to not be part of the problem. I watch TV and stuff. What If I'm just another mindless drone working away for the Man.
So what I'm basically worried about is wheather my entire life and existance is completely pointless. What if my entire works are burned by the Ruling Class? What if I never make my life works and end up with a desk job with a wife and 2.3 children. I don't want that.
I don't want to be part of any revolution either, and this makes me sick. The problem with the human mind is that we shift things away from us making it "Not-Our-Problem". A bunch of people see a woman being stabbed to death in teh street and what do we do. Nothing. It's Not-Our-Problem. But I still don't want to go up against the Man. I want the Man to go into a pit somewhere, curl up and die and just and do the collective of the human race a favour.
What I want is to live in a place where no one can bother me and the secure knowledge that people are being civilized and not blowing themselves up. I want to just sit somewhere in a nice temperate climate without any bugs were it's never to hot or cold and I can wear the Jacket of Ok-ness comfortably all year round. I want to live in a nice quiet cabin were I have enough room for my rapidly growing collection of books and a nice big open-air studio were I can paint. I want to come out with about a novel a year for the rest of my life which I hope to be very long. I want to have a small community of freinds who can play Dungeons and Dragons or some form of d20 Modern with me once every week. I want a girlfreind who I have minimal disagreements with and enjoys a good RPG, a good pie and a good book. That's all I really want. That and to meet Neil Gaiman, Stephen King and Michael Moorcock who are officially my favorite living writers. At least I'm pretty sure Michael Moorcock is still alive. He's just really quite, I think. Or the universe hates me and he's dead.
Basically, I want a peaceful Earth that leaves me the hell alone. A small circle of freinds including my soul mate who play D&D with my once ever week, to put out a novel every year or so and my own place. That's it. I don't know if that's to much to ask for. I don't think it is.
Oh, by the way this is the 300th post on The Aspie Diaries.

2 comments:

Steph said...

Congrats on 300 posts. And it's weird that you posted about the topic of "not-our-problem" and where the world is headed. Cus I was thinking about it yesterday actually. I think I'll blog my feelings here in the near future.

Dylan said...

Thanks Steph. I plan on working on the psychologology of the "Not-Our-Problem" problem in some of my writing.