Weekend

This is a very special week in my university life. I am going to be staying the weekend at University.

Up till now I have always went home on weekends, but this week in a change of plans I am staying at the Bunker, and my family will come to me on Saturday. Were going to eat out somewhere and Dad and I are going to the local independent video store to see how that works.

This is a new thing for me, and while I like the idea I'm a little unsure about where this will all lead. I'm pretty sure I can stay here for a full two weeks, but it may also be to much of a push. I've already had my first outburst yesterday. Yes, I had a freak out at University. In my defense, the entire thing snuck up on me. Someone thought it would be funny to try and make a guy swallow a fish and I thought it was disgusting and started shouting "No. No," and "Your sick," until my throat was sore. The Chaplain had to take me outside. Everyone was surprisingly cool about the entire thing. One person even thanked me for having the outburst, which I thought was a bit surreal. I don't think that I'll have another outburst, but I am a bit nervous about this arrangement.

On the other hand I am starting to feel more comfortable at my University Dorm then at home. This is what really scares me, because I may never want to come back home except once a month for readings at the local coffeehouse. I just didn't find my blanket back home warm enough, the duvae cover I have here as spoiled me.

Well, I'll update you later on this sort of thing.

I Wish I Wasn't Such A Nice Guy

So my sister calls me from School and says I need to run over some information on a court thing based on Othello. I'm really ticked off at this because I don't see how this is my responsibility. I'm angry at this and see no point of doing this for a person who has been more or less an annoying, judgemental and under appreciates me. But when she has forgotten something I'm the first person she calls. And what do I do? I run the paper over for her. Mind you, I'm still annoyed as hell at this, but I could have just left it there. It's her own fault for not remembering to bring it, I don't see how I'm supposed to help her escape from the forces of Karma.

I guess I'm just a nice guy. For most of my life that is what I have been, I have been a guy who does what he's told and helps people and stuff like that. Even if I where to become the head of an international crime syndicate I would probably still be a nice guy. I'd probably be overthrown in about a week, a month tops, but I would still be a nice guy even while I'm stroking my cat and telling my henchmen to go cut of some guys face and leave him over a bridge with bricks in his pocket.

It's not that I don't like being a nice guy, I just don't like my sister Delila, who is usually a major pain in my nether regions, taking advantage of that. I don't like it when anyone takes advantage of me. I just find this entire incident annoying.

Growing Dread in the Koi Pond of My Life

I'm starting in find my home not as homely anymore. I don't know whether it's the stress of summer coming or if I'm just growing to big for my current koi pond or if I'm just nervous that I need to actually work and stuff. All I know is that I've been feeling a sense of, I don't know, dread and nervousness. Everyone is so busy and I feel like I'm being forced out in the suffle. Also, in the middle of the night my bedroom dosn't feel like my own. I know that sounds crazy, but I just don't feel like right. Maybe I'm just on edge or something, but I feel really nervous recently.

I think it may have been my mom cleaning. I think I get the whole reason for cleaning, but I still don't like it. She pretty much came in and rearanged my entire closet and I really don't like that. I also still have a box full of old books I want to sell and I don't think I'm going to have a place to sell them in awhile since everyone is so busy.

I was hoping this could be longer, but I guess that's all I've got today. Maybe I'll have more later today. Maybe not.

Six more days till my birthday

I have made a great discovery today. I know now what being embarrassed is like. Embarrassing is when your mother takes you underwear shopping. Now I know what my sister Delila feels every time I'm with her. After my dad explained this to me I commented on the heads on sticks, since I thought that was cool.

I'm starting to wonder if my inability to understand embarrassment will be a hindrance when I start dating. What am I saying, it probably will and I'm not just saying that because my dad is looking over my shoulder while I write this. (Hi Dad!). Hm, that may be what clinks it. Maybe my romantic delusions will be of some help after all. Huzzah.

And I'm writing this because I was watching Fight Club, which puts me in a Loncrow state of mind I guess and not the kind where I get exhausted after he comes over. I guess Tyler Durden(Brad Pitt's character) is just the kind of guy I see Loncrow as turning into at some point, or someone like Tyler. I'm not sure how Loncrow would take that.

I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever see Loncrow again. I don't have his contact and I haven't chatted with him on MSN for quite awhile. Maybe I could e-mail him or something, see if he can come over. I hope he hasn't lost my copy of Invisibles, Vol 2.

Okay, my birthday is on the 10th, and I need to get my list done so my folks have an idea of what to get me. So here it is people, Writer's birthday list.

• Oriental Adventures, 3.5 version preferably.
• Move Under Ground, by Nick Mamatas
• The First Third, by Neal Cassady
• Neal Cassady: Collected Letters 1944-1967, by Neal Cassady
• A new Ipod with a higher song storage. My current Mp3 holds up to 300 songs
• Donnie Darko, director's cut
• Any of Neil Gaiman's Sandman books, except for Books 1 (Preludes and Nocturnes),3 (Dream Country) and 6 (Fables and Reflections) as I've already read those. Book Two would be preferable

And that's all I can think up. That's all. Thanks for reading. Be seeing you.

They cancelled Little Steven's Underground Garage so know I have to listen to archived shows that is if my little sister isn't on the computer. DAMN!

Recently, Little Steven's Underground Garage has ceased to be played on my local radio. As I am a big fan of this particular radio program, I am greatly disappointed. I should probably call them about it. Anyway, this has caused a great change in my calendar. On Sundays, when I knew that I would be able to listen to Little Steven's Underground Garage and I wouldn't feel so bad. Now, I just lay in my bed and await the inevitable. Come to think of it, listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage is probably one of the ten top ways I would like to die.
Does this mean that I can't listen to Little Steven's Underground Garage? No, I can listen to archived shows on the Internet (see link). But I have to listen to it the moment I get home because my sister tends to bring a friend home most days, thus interrupting the episode. Except for today when I forgot to put it on. So know I have to wait until tomorrow because I also have a mind load of philosophy homework.
School has been going well. I'm bonding with alot of people at the art table and I'm going to get on to my first piece of art "The Extinction of the First Kingdom of Yazan," this week. I also need to figure out what my next pieces of art will be.
Well, that's all I care to mention today. Be seeing you.

I'm back from the cottage again and this time I'm posting!

Hey, sorry I didn't blog in awhile. This is turning out to be the August of Cottage Trips. No sooner do I get home from my relatives cottage then I go back there with my entire family, and I did have time to blog last time but I didn't because I am lazy. Just to warn you I'm going for another trip next week. I'm going with the cousins whole will have the highest chance of playing Dungeons and Dragons with me, which will be cool. I'd love to do the Mythania RPG, but I don't have that quite ironed out yet. Not to bad, I plan on doing lot's of new and exciting things with Forgotten Realms.
Anyway, the cottage trips were fun. I went tubing alot, and there is a good chance of me sending you pictures of myself tubing. I got two new books, one having a bunch of short stories by H.P. Lovecraft and the other having a bunch of Poetry by Lord Byron, despite the fact I believe I have more in common with Percy Brysse Shelley. Shelley is defenetly going to be the next poet I pick up. I also finished Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which as recent readers would know I borrowed from my Uncle.
I didn't work alot on my novel, and it's starting to look like I won't be getting much of a chance to get it finished completely by the end of Summer. I do believe I am making progress on it, and at some point today I will get to work on it. I'm also getting alot of ideas about the whole Conspiracy-Urban Fantasy-Counter Culture megaseries. I'm thinking about calling it The Rosicrucian Cycle at the moment, as the secret society I concentrate most on is based somewhat on the Rosicrucians, and to The Invisibles as well. I'm thinking about working Grant Morrison in as a character, as I want to have historical characters appear in the novel. I feel that Ken Kesey should appear in the 1960's thing, which I'm calling The Fellowship something-something, depends on how many books are in it. I have a feeling it may be one of the longest in the megaseries. I thought I could do four books, but then it seemed like five, and then I had no idea what I was going to do. But combine that with the Apocalypse storyline and The Howlers (one trilogy and a few short stories) and probubly some kind of history of the organization before that, which I'm probubly going to put as an appendix in the Fellowship and Apocalypse books....Well, I've probubly given to much away. I'll stop talking about it.
Anyway, I'll try to call back in. Also, I'm putting 7 on the labels for this post, as I will do on every seventh day of the month because it's one of the special numbers. The same will be said for all other numbers envolved.

Canada Day, Aimless Wandering and Interactions with Friends and relatives

Well, Canada Day has come and gone and I think that I avoided it pretty well. I really don't like these kinds of celebrations, I just don't see the point in nationalism. It's not that I have any specific problem with Canada, I just find the entire thing somewhat annoying and disappointing in humanity. It's all part of my ultimate goal for us to join together into one happy family of men so we can create a Utopian society and thus live in a world I can understand.

On a happier note I went around town today, hoping to go to this coffee shop I went to awhile back. Unfortunately, it's been permanently closed and no one has bothered to take down the OPEN sign. Kind of annoying really. So I bought myself some fries and a coke and went to the Giant Squid instead, where I caught the last bit of a Japanese movie called Pitfall, and watched Desperado. I liked Desperado better because I didn't see that much of Pitfall, making it confusing. Desperado is a pretty cool movie, basically a sequel to El Mariachi which I saw awhile back. Steve Bushemi had a great monologue in it at the beginning. Really well written, great use of repetition.

Anyways, after that I ran into a friend I haven't seen in awhile. I'm not going to reveal her name because of my scrupples. She was Ruric's brother's ex-girlfriend, but she's engaged now to some other guy because Ruric's brother moved with Ruric. I hear there family is in ruff shape. On a more positive note I think I really bonded with them and we said something about getting together to play a game of D&D. I plan on getting my Mythania setting ironed out first though, so we can use that.

And on a final note, my sister Delila is on a Church thing in British Columbia. I don't know if she'll read my blog while she's there. She's kind of become a Church goer, baptized and everything. I think I'm slightly threatened by this. Either way, I feel the need to conrgagulate her on all the stuff he gets to do. Good on you girl.

That's all.

Paranoia! Stress! Depression! Fear and Loathing in Southern Ontario

So, I'm slowly becoming paranoid about my EA. I was doing work in English and I kept thinking "She's watching me. She's keeping tabs on me which they send to the Man and their coming for me." It could just be the combination of my overactive imagination and the stress from my upcoming exams. Exams make me stressed. I'm thinking on taking the day off tomorrow. Look after my little sister Sprite, who got her leg broken and has to stay home. If any of you have a god or something you worship, then a little prayer worship would be appreciated because she is currently going through hell. She has to sit down for extended periods of time, it's driving her nuts.
Let's see, most of my emotions have been largelly distressful and depressed, slightly tired as well because I'm moving onto Loncrow-time for some reason. Maybe because I'm up all night reading Moorcock and Kerouac. I'm reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac by the way. I'm getting into the Beat Generation for some reason. My interest in the nineteen-sixties seems to have lead into the Beats of the previous decade. On the Road is a pretty good novel though I don't feel in the swing of it, since the characters arn't actually on the road.
I have no idea were all my things are. I'm at the library and I have my backpack and a book I'm getting out lying around somewhere. I have my wallet on me so no one can get what little money I have in there. God, I need to get away from the materialistic world.
I'm working on my first novel. I'm doing it about Naos, since I figure I should write that first. It's about how Naos gains Enlightenment. There's romance, political intrigue, Revolution, supernatural forces, post-cyberpunkness and random tributes to the 1960's because I like hippies for some reason. I was hoping to write a bunch of other stories about Naos' time on the mortal plane, but I think that bit of my mind that is Naos is telling me "Stop screwing around, Writer. Those stories arn't important. Get to the important stuff. Trust me this is going to be great."
I was thinking about Ralph. Ralph is feeling left out of the mythos because Naos seems to be getting more and more room. So I figure it's about time Ralph went for a make-over. If I want Ralph to have the range of Naos he too must shed the physical form. I'm thinking about making Ralph the main character for Mythania, kind of like Death in the Discworld series, except Ralph isn't really a supernatural force. At some point he's going to appear elsewhere in my multiverse. The only non-mythanian novel I have him in at the moment is The Book of the Saints(working title for the apocalypse novel). I figure he may get involved with Nyzadi at some point, and I have the idea of writing a thing about my life at the moment, mixed with my mythos and my role in it. I've kind of put myself as the creative apex of my mythology, a few characters are aware of a being they call "The Writer," but for the most part many are completely ignorent of it(me). Naos is very concious of the Writer, odviously since he is the idealized version of myself. I suppose that means Helen knows. Ralph may know.
I've been throwing the idea of making alternate versions of Ralph, in various other realities. I'm not sure how this would happen, but I think he may have a human version of himself somewhere out there in the multiverse. Maybe another that is a sort of druidic-nature spirit that takes the form of a rodent-man hybrid. Were these other Ralphs live is beyond me at this time, probubly on the alternate Earths. The Spirit Ralph might live on one of the overlaps with Faerie, and the human Ralph would defenetly live in the universe that tends to Sword-and-Sorcery (which also is inhabited by the Gods of William Blake's mythos. I'll get into that later).
I'm thinking maybe I should change Ralph's name, start calling him by his Mythanian name. Also, if I'm going to have him as a recurring element, then he'll have to be able to have recognizable traits. The name will be similar in most cases, and the elements of his rodent like nature would be evedient. His personality would be similar in most cases, taste for adventure, reckless yet intellegent, penchent for sword-fighting even in environments were no one fights with swords (He'd be living in a world full of lasers and he'd still have a standard iron sword as a weapon). I also see his religion as something coming up. Ralph worships all kinds of Gods, mainly The Tawaze Mother Goddess and Gharlan Goldenhair(who he eventually equates with Jesus), he also has mixed his traditional pagan worship with the teachings of Naos and has a great respect for Dana and Ka Lynn Apexet. Really, Ralph worships anything that goes with his values and he finds useful. I suppose this trait would be brought into the other versions. The odviously pagan Spirit Ralph practising a combination of Celtic paganism, Awakenism and Islam or something Monothiestic like that.
Well, I should be going soon. All this was written at my public library.

Two days until Christmas Vacation, also includes upcoming plans and a review of Clerks

So, awhile back I wrote about the unknown territory that is sex and women. My mom has gotten ahold of this and this scared her or something. We had a breif discussion and now we arn't going to talk about it until it comes up next.

Anyway, we are approaching the beginning of the Chirstmas holidays. For your normal kid, you would have about three more days, but since the only thing happening is an assembly(which I hate) and the annual school class devision tournament (teacher/student hockey game, which I also hate), I will be givin the right to skip the entire day. The only problem is what am I going to do with all my free-time. I'm probubly going to go to my grandma's unless anything interesting turns up. I don't think I should stay home because I see no real point. I also don't see myself hanging around downtown all day. The idea of leaving town for Toronto or something is out of the question, as I don't have any means of transportation, nore do I have any back up for a trip to a big city. So, it's looking like a trip to Grandma's.

I'm not sure I want to go to Grandma's that much. There's not really alot to do except hang around with my baby cousin and maybe read a book or something. I could also watch TV, which I can do at home. I suppose that if I don't come up with something better I'll go there anyway.

In other news, I have officially seen the movie Clerks. It's a pretty funny movie about a day in the life of two guys named Dante and Randal who work as clerks, hense the title. The characters are pretty interesting, if not the best examples of humanity. Dante is trapped into his existance for fear of bringing instability to his life, Randal is odviously a sociopath who insults anyone who comes into the video store he works at (when he works there, for most of the film he hangs out with Dante, ignoring his duties). There isn't really a plot as such, as it is really a day when alot of bad, yet amusing things happen to the people. Also, Jay and Silent Bob are in it. They spend most of the movie outside the building being Jay and Silent Bob.

That's it. I'm going know because I don't know what else to write. Pay attention to my DeviantArt account for I will be posting new art, hopefully by Thursday. If not, well I'll figure something out.

My sister makes me feel sad

Well, I am a working man. My job is to underline important documents for a very important non-government place, but I can't tell you what else. Condididencial. The pay is pretty good, and beside the tedium I have no complaints.

I don't really know what else to say besides that. I could probubly go on about how I feel lonely and how I long for real human contact. My sister isn't really helping. Not the really little perky one, the larger negative one. She's good at that. She seems to get joy from making the lives of others miserable. She's like a postitive energy vampire. This is probubly part of the effect, me complaining how much of a rhymes-with-witch she is, but she really makes me feel bad. She's always calling me Emo, which she uses as a slur.

Anyway, one a more postitive note I am know on Book Five of the Dark Tower series. The Tower grows ever closer.