Full Schedule

Yesterday I officially had my right-of-passage into young adulthood. My pastor was there and we did various rituals, some involving sweet-grass. For some reason I had the idea of something sort of Native-American, don't know why since I'm Irish-Mennonite. We had sweet grass anyways, which smelt nice and helped bring in positive energy. My sister says it smells like weed.
This whole right-of-passage thing was mainly designed to help me in my next step to adulthood, which is University. I'm a bit nervous, as I may or may not have told you, because it's new and new and unknownness isn't something that I enjoy much. Also, I've looked at the notes for orientation week at Conrad Grebel and they have something called Koopa training that is making me feel a bit nervous, since I know that Koopas are those turtles that Mario jumps on and I don't want to be jumped on by an Italian with a mushroom problem. That's probably not what it means, but the whole Mario theme is a bit worrying for me.
I'm sure University will be great once I get the handle of it. But other then that I don't know if I'll fit into Conrad Grebel. To be honest, the Mennonite Church does seem to have a sense of humour, but it seems to be on more or less the same plane as Veggie Tales. Not that there's anything wrong with Veggie Tales, it's a great show, but I don't really see it as one I enjoy that much.
Anyways, you may have noticed that the title of this post is "Full Schedule." That's basically because I am going to be a lot of places in the next week or so. Tomorrow, my Dungeons and Dragons buddies are getting married (the people, not there characters). Then I'm off to the Holden County Folk Festival to listen to folk music and eat some good food. After that I'm going to Open Doors, which is an orientation week for people with "learning disabilities" or whatever, which I qualify for. I don't think to much of the name, but I'll get to changing it to the socially transcendent later. Then I have a poetry reading at my favorite local coffee shop, so I need to figure out where I can find something to present, read it a couple times and then enjoy the night. Today however, I will relax as much as possible.
Finally, I'm at the Library and have picked up the following books to look over.

• Great Short Works of Mark Twain, by Mark Twain
• The Unabridged Jack London, by Jack London
• The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, by William Shakespeare. Hopefully I can figure out what all the fuss is about now.
• The Complete Illustrated Stories, Plays and Poems of Oscar Wilde, by Oscar Wilde
• Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman, by Haruki Murakami
  

The Absurdity Factor of Going to University has Just Reached Noticeable Levels

I'm sitting in my room, minding my own buisness when in comes my Mom going on about a bathroom. She plans on having the wall knocked out so as to increase the bathroom's size. Meanwhile, I'm sitting on my bed thinking "Why are you going on about this while I'm in the room. I'm right here." At least she has the desencey to wait eight years until I get my own place.

Also, you may have noticed that I have added a word counter for my novel, and that I am currently at 29%. I'm very proud of that, and I hope to have the first draft done by the end of summer. Considering the word length and that I'll be doing 1'667 words a day I'll be doing some very good writing this summer.

Also, I am seriously considering sighning up for National Novel Writing Month. The problem is I don't see it as something I'll be able to do it next November, what with all the busy University work I'll be doing. I may do it some November after college, or I may just have to do it during the summer when it's unofficial. Anyways, there's still National Poetry Writing Month in April, I think it is. I could probubly manage that.

No Summer Job so I Start Writing Stupid

Because of my coming assent into the world of University and academia, I am not going to be searching for a summer job. This means I am still living off my parents money for books and Itunes. I used my Itunes money to by two albums of off Itunes. Blood on the Tracks, by Bob Dylan and Hunky Dory, by David Bowie. I enjoy both albums alot. If I was a musician, then I'd make albums like this, where all the songs are really good and you need to lisean to them all at the same time for it to be really good. Maybe I could do that for short stories and poems and things.
On the subject of writing, I am getting on the Last Dance Revolution train again. I decided that I need to write it from a different perspective. To do that I am going to write part of it as a biography of Naos and Helen. I got the ide from reading about this book called Lint by a guy called Steve Aylett. It's about a cult writer who never existed. I think that's a pretty interesting idea, since cult writers generally lead very interesting lives. I don't really know how I'll do this, maybe the biographer will be some version of myself or some really odd Gonzo Hyunter S. Thompson type person who's writing this from an insane asylum.
I've been wondering what I should do with this blog once I become a famous writer. I was thinking I'd get my own website or something and link to it. The website would basically give updates to when my next book will be out. I'd concentrate on my blog mostly, or start another blog. By that time I'd be using my actual name instead of my some-what unimaginative screen name.

The Wonderful Magazine Finder Dingus

Steph, who should be beatified by the Catholic Church (and would be if they where beatifying anyone of importance), has given me a handy little website called Duotrope's Digest that allows me to track down magazines that are weird and off-beat enough to hold my own brand of absurdist historical-mystery sci-fi-magic-realism-romance genre bending. Here's what I hope will be places you be able to see me in.

• Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, I found out about these fellas from my interest in the Bizarro genre. It features writing that is weird, surreal and dosn't make any sense. I like to think what I write makes some kind of sense, but I've got a story I could send here.
• The Capilano Review, This is a pretty well established Canadian magazine, so it's A) Established and B) Local. I'd like to be published in local areas, if only because it would allow my friends to buy a copy.
• Susurrus Press, My mom may have questions about this, but I think it may be something I should pay attention to. If it's legitimate I'll try writing things in there anthologies. They have anthologies now and I may have time to write in them.
• Ambit Magazine, These guys are British, so I don't know if they are likely to publish someone from across the pond. Thankfully, everyone I know says I'm a genius. If I am to try and get published here, then I'm probubly going to wait awhile until I have published a few things in other magazines on this continent.
• Storyteller Magazine, This is a local Canadian magazine that promotes short stories.

University Update

Yesterday my mom took me over to the University of Waterloo to get all my course information out. I'm going to be taking three courses, which is the bare minimum I can take while still staying there full time. I'm doing an English, Religious Studies and Film Studies Course. I'm also thinking of picking up a few language courses. Maybe Spanish or Russian. I don't know. Apparently I can't take French because Waterloo expects me to have taken at least Grade 9, which I havn't. The lady we saw said I should look at taking a French course at Waterloo. I might, know that I know what I can read in French.

I even got to go to a used bookstore. My mom said that we wouldn't be going to any used bookstores, but I've been meaning to find a copy of Mumbo Jumbo, by Ishmael Reed. I didn't find it at the place we went to, but I did get The Miracle of the Rose, bu Jean Genet, Nova by Samuel R. Delany and what appears to be a Michael Moorcock novel written about a fictional version of the band Hawkwind I never heard off. I also found a copy of the book You Can't Win, by Jack Black (not the comedian) which was a major influence on the thought of William S. Burroughs, but I didn't buy it. I look forward to frequenting this bookstore while I'm in University, as well as any other cool bookstores in Waterloo.

Bohemianism: How, Where and Why to Hang on to It

I got a book about the Beat Generation from the library today. You can see it in what I'm reading at the moment, but if your reading this in archives the book is called The Beat Hotel: Ginsberg, Burroughs and Corso in Paris, 1957-1963, by Barry Miles. It chronicles the Beat Hotel in Paris where a lot of important beat writers wrote some of there most important works. I'm also using this as the setting for most of the Jack Blackwright novels, since it seems like a better place, plus I can have Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs in them. I don't know if anyone has ever written a mystery novel that featured Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs. Someone may have done Burroughs, and I know he wrote a mystery novel with Jack Kerouac called "And the Hippos Where Boiled in there Tanks." But I don't know if they where in a mystery novel.

I've just read the first chapter, which explains the setting of the Beat Hotel and the area around it, Paris in the late fifties and I'm starting to feel very jealous. I'm sick of living in this small town. I want to move to the big city and be a real bohemian writer. Hanging out in coffee shops, going to hidden bookstores to find rare books on Rosicrucians and stuff, writing experimental novels and stuff like that. Alright, maybe I wouldn't write experimental novels, but I am thinking about toying around with multiple perspectives. I know that's been done but it's all I've got at the moment.

The thing that is bothering me is I don't have any idea where to find this kind of atmosphere or even how to hang on to it. I think I had that atmosphere for awhile, but not at the moment. Maybe it's just because it's summer and everything is so hectic. I'll have to check in on it later.

I don't even know if I could survive in a bohemian environment. According to the book I've got, the Beat Hotel was pretty run down, contained rats, the toliet was a hole in the floor and the only reason it was kept up was because the lady who ran it kept on good terms with the police. I'm probubly worrying to much. I'm sure I could find a place that had a toliet and insint infested withr rats and junkies. At least not so full of rats and junkies that they'll crawl into my bed.

Also, I'm hoping that living in an old apartement with a bunch of books will help unleash my productivity. My muse is no problem, but my productivity lags.

Tagging is for suckas

Well, Steph tagged me for some seven songs thing that I don't see the point off, but I'm going to do it anyways because summer is usually pretty boring for me. Here's the basic jist.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

Right, here goes.

• Walk on the Wild Side, by Lou Reed. Hopefully this won't affect my summer in any odvious way since the song is about kinky sex, transvetitism, use of hard drugs and gay prostitution. Still it's an excellent song.
• The Velvet Underground & Nico, by The Velvet Underground & Nico. Okay, this is an album, but it is a damn cool album and it sounds best when you lisean to it as a total album.
• Blonde on Blonde, by Bob Dylan, again an Album. I'd half to say my favorite tracks on this one are "Stuck inside a Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again," and "Aboslutely Sweet Marie." I've been puzzling over the line "But to live outside the law you must be honest," in the Sweet Marie for awhile trying to figure out what Dylan's suppose to mean by that.
• Look up the Sky, by The Pebbles, Japanese garage band I got on a compliation album of Itunes. This song makes me think of summer.
• Hotel Calfornia(Spanish Mix), by the Gipsy Kings. THE JESUUUUS!
• Highway 61 Revisited, by Bob Dylan. Again an album! Do I have any respect for the sanctity of tagging? No! Excellent album. Perfect from start to finish.
• Mother Mary, by the Foxboro Hot Tubs. Catchy song that will be on the soundtrack to my novel.

I will now tag George W. Bush, Quentin Tarantino, Charles Manson, George Eliot, His Imperial Majesty the Emperor Akihito of Japan, Michael J. Anderson and Alejandro Jodorowsky. Can't wait to see what they come up with.

Busted Computers make me angry

My home computer, the one I usually use, has a real bad virus. We aren't going to use it for awhile and this is a problem for me. Not only do I not like using the older and slower computer, but my Itunes information is on the other computer. I can't recharge my Ipod on the other computer either. I still got some good battery power on it, but I don't think it can last much beyond Wednesday, and that's only if I don't use it.
The job search still isn't doing well. I looked around in the newspaper and I found ads to start a home business and work at a cosmetics store. I don't know if I can work at as a cosmetics store, and I'm unsure if I can do a home business. I'm thinking I may start busking, reciting poetry for loose change. I don't know if that can work. When I get home I'll be calling my employment specialist.
On another note, I am trying on writing more often. I'm hoping on getting ten to twenty pages done per day, not including blog entries. I think this is a good way to start and as I get more time to write, and better endurance I'll work my way up to twenty. This will take awhile of course, and I am also reading three books at the moment. I also plan on reading some short stories, since I could probably make some money off of that. Not much, but it would get me noticed. So far I only have "Godot is Dead," but I'll pick up a few books of short stories while I'm at the library. I have The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe beside me now. That should be a start. Also I have a bunch of science fiction magazines at home I could read. I haven't read science fiction in awhile and with the Robert A. Heinlein novel "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress," I plan on returning to more. Specifically Heinlein, and Spider Robinson who is like a hippie-folk singer version of Robert A. Heinlein.
I'm starting to wonder what kind of mode my fiction will take. At first I thought I'd write science fiction, then I figured I'd write epic fantasy, now I seem to have abandoned my original concept of an epic fantasy realm. At the moment, the closest thing I have to an epic fantasy is the Hippie story(ies) and that hasn't event begun to be written yet. At the moment, I don't think I have any specific type, any specific genre. I'm just going to great works of literature that bend all genres. I might still write an epic fantasy, but I think it would be something like Stephen King's Dark Tower series. No elves or dwarves or hobbits or replicas of medieval Europe. I'm probably going to be more inspired by Islamic society of the Middle-East and India. But at the moment my two main concerns are The Last Dance Revolution and the really really big Hippie book that is going to be at least 500 pages. I'd go into more detail, but who knows what kind of dirty little plagiarists are trying to steal my ideas.
So, that's it for today I suppose. Below I have the Question of the Post. That is where I ask you your opinion about something. Read and reply.
Question of the Post: Do you enjoy reading about all the updates in my life? Do you find it helps give me a more personal setting? Do you think my life is boring?

Carnivale: It's Better Then Lost

Okay, it's the thirties. The Dust bowl has rendered the Mid-West a barren waste land. Why wouldn't make that the setting for the Apocalyptic battle between good and evil? That is basically Carnivale in a nut shell, but it is more complicated then that.

To elaborate on the plot, Carnivale tells the story of two different people on opposite ends of the spiritual line. The first plot deals with Ben Hawkins (the guy sitting behind the door of the truck in the picture) who's mother has died and his family farm stolen. Lucky for him, a carnivale has passed by and he gets work there. As we learn more about Ben, it's apparent that he has supernatural healing abilities, and receives various visions such as being chased in a corn field by a guy with a way freaky tree tattoo on his chest and World War One. As all this is going on, were told the story of Brother Justin (the priest to the right) who lives in California with his sister Iris. Brother Justin also has supernatural powers, such as making old ladies cough up coins and forcing people to commit suicide by showing them the worst thing they've ever done. He's what people who know this stuff call "The Usher." And Ben and Brother Justin have to fight it out for the destiny of the world. Oh, and Ben has to stop the first Atomic Bomb Explosion. If this doesn't sound like the coolest show ever to be seen on television, then I am not doing a good enough job of explaining it.

So naturally, this show having such an original concept, having such a good script and such a great cast, they had to shut it down right when it was getting real good. It only lasted two seasons out of it's six season run getting replaced with a show about Polygamists who weren't engaged in anything this vital or important. May whoever took this show from the air be damned to hell. I only wish Daniel Knauf, the guy who came up with this brilliant series comes up with a movie for the next part because I so want to see what happens next. Please Daniel Knauf, if your reading this by some miracle, MAKE THAT MOVIE! Or better yet, make a graphic novel and then a movie. I will help you in anyway I can.

So anyways, Carnivale. Get it, watch it, be amazed my it's amazingness and damn HBO

The Hippie Stories

As many of you may or may not know, I plan on writing a major series of books taking place in the 1960's. So far this is taking the form of one really big novel that's at least 1000 pages, or a series of four major novels. I think that the later is what I'll do because, A) It's less work and B) I don't want this to get to conveluted which four novels would lead too. This does not include the Jack Blackwright Stories, though both the Jack Blackwright books and the Hippie Novel will share characters. The Hippie novel could also be called a Jack Blackwright book, but Jack isn't going to be the main focus of this.

I've been wanting to write something about the Hippies for awhile now. There is something really mythic about them to my generation, and love it or hate it, the sixties had several major events in Western history. I was never a part of this generation, but I lisean to alot of the music from that time. Comparitivly, I'm really big on Beat Generation literature which was also an influence on the hippies, no matter how much Kerouac thought they where communists.

Lost my train of thought there, oh well. I don't want to give to much away. I should be consentrating on the Last Dance Revolution anyways.

My Sentence Is Up!

After five years I have completed my tenure of High School. For the next two months I am in limbo, preparing for University and hopefully getting some money.

The feeling of being cut of from School is kind of strange. There's a great emptiness in my life now that school isn't there. I don't know what it is I'll do with myself while I'm unemployed. I've been talking with my LEADS specialist and she's given me some ideas on next steps I should take. She says I should look through the newspaper and Job Bank of Canada to find work. I think I'll check out Job Bank and see what I can find.

Just found it, the only thing I could find is Taxi Driver. I can't drive and the environment is to faced passed for me. I guess I should check the newspaper next. I'll do that later today.

Since it's Summer, I should develop a summer reading list. At the moment I'm reading Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison and Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut. I figure that to create a summer reading list I'll need to find every book I have on my shelf that I havn't read and read it. Also I'm trading books with my Church pastor. She's going to give me books about Christianity and I'm going to give her books like On the Road, by Jack Kerouac and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, by Tom Robbins.

My mom says she'll take me to the University of Waterloo every week so we can map out routes and acclimatize me to the area. We'll find routes to my Aunt and Uncle's who live in Waterloo, the video store, used bookstores and anywhere else I might need to go.

The following are all the books I feel a pressing need to read.

1. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
2. Farewell, My Lovely, by Raymond Chandler
3. Dhalgren, by Samuel R. Delany
4. Tales of Neveryon, by Samuel R. Delany
5. The Fall of the Towers, by Samuel R. Delany
6. Tapping the Dream Tree, short stories by Charles de Lint
7. A Scanner Darkly, by Philip K. Dick
8. Notes from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevesky
9. The Original Illustrated Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle. Short stories and The Hounds of Baskerville
10. The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco
11. Deathbird Stories, short stories by Harlan Ellison
12. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
13. Riders of the Purple Sage, by Zane Grey
14. The Novels of Dashiell Hammett, by Dashiell Hammet. consists of Red Harvest, The Dain Curse, The Maltese Falcon, The Glass Key and The Thin Man.
15. To Sail Beyond the Sunset, by Robert A. Heinlein
16. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein
17. Revolt in 2100, by Robert A. Heinlein
18. The Cat Who Walks Thorugh Walls, by Robert A. Heinlien
19. Time Enough For Love, by Robert A. Heinlien
20. Friday, by Robert A. Heinlien
21. Expanded Universe, by Robert A. Heinlien
22. Variable Star, by Robert A. Heinlien and Spider Robinson
23. Conan the Adventurer, by Robert E. Howard
24. A Thief of Time, by Tony Hillerman
25. Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo
26. A Voyage to Arcturus, by David Linsey
27. Insomnia, by Stephen King
28. The Eyes of the Dragon, by Stephen King
29. The Shining, by Stephen King
30. Hearts in Atlantis, by Stephen King
31. The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux
32. The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Tales, short stories by H.P. Lovecraft
34. Remembrence of Things Past, by Marcel Proust, translated by C.K. Scott Moncrieff. Volume One, consisting of Swann's Way, Within A Budding Grove and The Guermantes Way.
35. Midnight's Children, by Salman Rushdie
36. The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie

This list is by no means over. I just realized how many books I own that I havn't read yet. I need to really get to work on them. I hope that I can finish most of them by the end of summer.

Can Someone With Asperges Syndrome Be A Great Novelist?

I've been thinking about this recently. The thing is I don't want to be just a writer, I want to be a writer who is remembered centuries after I've died and is studied in universities. I want to be one of those great writers that people make reference in there books. The problem is I don't know how I can go about doing this as A) someone who is working withing genre fiction and B) an Aspie.

My Autism is one of the things that is making me worried. I don't know how I'm going to write about human interaction if I can't even understand it. Parody and Satire are probably going to be prevalent, and my books are probubly going to have some postmodern deconstruction of how humans interact. Also, Jane Austen has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and from what little I know of her she writes alot about human interaction.

I also heard that James Joyce may have had Aspergers. Unlike Austen, I have read Joyce. It was a short story in an English class called "Araby." It was pretty good, and that Joyce is a writer I mean to check out, at least Ulysses. Finnegan's Wake I'll skip, most likely, because of how unreadable everyone says it is. Other writers who may have had Aspergers Syndrome are Emily Dickinson, Franz Kafka, Mark Twain and H.P. Lovecraft. I don't know about being compared to H.P. Lovecraft, since he was a racist New England bugger with a rather dense style and always ended his stories in italics to emphasise the creepiness of his stories.

The problem with this is that all these people are dead, so we can't make a proper diagnosis. Without actually sitting down with these people (which would have been a problem with Dickinson because she was a recluse) we'll never know if they had Autism or what.

So, the final question is, does my status as a person of Autism impare my skill as a writer or not. I don't know. There is alot of stuff that says it does. I'm on the outside of allmost every social group I'm in, so that makes me a good observer. Also, since I have absolutley no understanding of social norms, I am the perfect person to judge and critic them. Even if none of the people mentioned actually had Aspergers Syndrome, I hope to become the first universally acknowledged great Austistic writer.

I'd appreciate if someone could comment on this and give me suggestions. This is very important to me.

The Fall

I found this off because of my constant watching out for any information on Alejandro Jodorowsky. He had nothing to do with this, but it has a Jodorowsky sort of vibe about it, even if it has an actual plot and real dialouge and characters that arn't there just to represent metaphysical concepts. The guy who made this, who's called Tarsem, did another movie about going into the mind of a serial killer. That movie is called The Cell and I can get it in town.

I Wish I Wasn't Such A Nice Guy

So my sister calls me from School and says I need to run over some information on a court thing based on Othello. I'm really ticked off at this because I don't see how this is my responsibility. I'm angry at this and see no point of doing this for a person who has been more or less an annoying, judgemental and under appreciates me. But when she has forgotten something I'm the first person she calls. And what do I do? I run the paper over for her. Mind you, I'm still annoyed as hell at this, but I could have just left it there. It's her own fault for not remembering to bring it, I don't see how I'm supposed to help her escape from the forces of Karma.

I guess I'm just a nice guy. For most of my life that is what I have been, I have been a guy who does what he's told and helps people and stuff like that. Even if I where to become the head of an international crime syndicate I would probably still be a nice guy. I'd probably be overthrown in about a week, a month tops, but I would still be a nice guy even while I'm stroking my cat and telling my henchmen to go cut of some guys face and leave him over a bridge with bricks in his pocket.

It's not that I don't like being a nice guy, I just don't like my sister Delila, who is usually a major pain in my nether regions, taking advantage of that. I don't like it when anyone takes advantage of me. I just find this entire incident annoying.

Growing Dread in the Koi Pond of My Life

I'm starting in find my home not as homely anymore. I don't know whether it's the stress of summer coming or if I'm just growing to big for my current koi pond or if I'm just nervous that I need to actually work and stuff. All I know is that I've been feeling a sense of, I don't know, dread and nervousness. Everyone is so busy and I feel like I'm being forced out in the suffle. Also, in the middle of the night my bedroom dosn't feel like my own. I know that sounds crazy, but I just don't feel like right. Maybe I'm just on edge or something, but I feel really nervous recently.

I think it may have been my mom cleaning. I think I get the whole reason for cleaning, but I still don't like it. She pretty much came in and rearanged my entire closet and I really don't like that. I also still have a box full of old books I want to sell and I don't think I'm going to have a place to sell them in awhile since everyone is so busy.

I was hoping this could be longer, but I guess that's all I've got today. Maybe I'll have more later today. Maybe not.

Video from Steph's Blog

This was Steph's favorite entry in Eurovision. I like it to because it looks like something from a David Lynch movie.

I don't want to work, I just want to read all my books all day

School is going to be over soon. I want it over now. I feel tired and stetched out and I just want to sit down for a long time and read without worrying about homework. I have a killer book list this summer and with University just over the horizon I don't know if I'll have much chance for personal reading I'll get done.

What I need to do is get a big reading list and work on that. I just don't know if I can finish it in two months. There are some pretty long and so are some of the books. Also, the chances of me getting a job have increased for the summer. I don't want to go into to much detail, but it will affect my time to read.

I'm starting to wonder if the Last Dance Revolution may be dead or in need of a rest. I feel I need a distraction from it, or at least to give it a linear narrative. Maybe I'll do both. I'll come up with an idea to work on over the summer while redoing the Last Dance Revolution. I may need to completely overhall the plot.

In the meantime I may need to figure out what to write over the summer. Possibly I'll try writing the first Jack Blackwright novel. I'm thinking that for the first decade or so of my writing career I'm going to write stuff like that mostly. Stuff like Jack is going to be my meal ticket while I'm working on what I hope to be my important novels such as The Last Dance Revolution. So I may just write the first Jack Blackwright novel and then maybe a few stories. I'm still trying to get the hang of Jack's universe. Since I'm not using fully traditional fantasy subjects, or at least ones that are hidden or in roles that one would not usually expect them, it may be a hard sell. Also I'm going to have to do alot of reaserch on London during the 1960's. I guess a trip to the library will be needed. I figure that a few other stories will also be needed to get the world in any cohesive order. I'll probubly be working on the novel for awhile.

Introducing the World's Most Incompatent Terrorists

For awhile I've had these two characters I've been calling Achmed and Sharpy. bouncing around in my head. I know there cousins and where born in Palestine. I know they work or worked with Hamas at one point. I also know they are just about the last people you'd expect to be terrorists. They're well educated, probably going to some European university to get Arts degrees, dream of driving down Route 66 and tend to avoid situations that will get them killed. They are pretty much, middle-eastern hipsters who have been shanghaied into religious fundamentalism, with slapstick results, or tragicomic.

I'm not really sure what to do with these guys, or even if I should keep calling them Achmed and Sharpy. I was going to change Sharpy's name to the Arabic word for sharp, but when I tried to find it the writing was in, surprise, Arabic. Of course, there from Palestine and I don't even know what they speak in Palestine. I just checked Wikipedia, Palestinians speak Arabic.

I've just changed there names to Hakim and Shadi. I may even most something about them on my blog for you guys.

Big Ol' Update, and Bob Dylan's hair

Well it's finally happened. I am going to get my haircut. Today at 1845 hours, I will get my magnificent head of long hair cut off. My mom bribed me with $100 dollars worth of Itunes, since I've spent 25 of that already I'm obliged to get it cut. The style in question is going to be a sort of early Bob Dylan thing. If that goes well I might try out the electric-era Cate Blanchett style of Bob Dylan hair cut.

On the subject of Bob Dylan, I saw the bio-flick they did of him awhile back with the six different people. It was a pretty cool trip. It was also creepy how Cate Blanchett looked the most like Bob Dylan of any of the assembled Bob Dylans. The overall effect of using six different actors to play Bob Dylan gave the film a very surreal effect, and I always love a bit of surrealism.

I've been working at the local museum for community service hours, which I need to get done by the end of the month. Basically I have to get everything into boxes for the big move. I also have yet to get an actual job, but I've been looking around. My employment specialist is helping me look and hopefully I'll have one for the summer.

Tomorrow I'm going to the University of Waterloo to look around again. It looks like I'm going here and that I'm going to Conrad Grebel, despite first impressions, it is seeming to be the place to go. It's small, comfortable and they can get me my own room if I go with them. That and they have good food. I also hope to sell some books I don't need anymore, the proceeds of which will probubly go to more books.

The Ten Commandments of the Golden Age of Detective Fiction and How I Will Break Them

I plan on writing detective fiction. To do this I have been reading mystery novels and stories, such as Sherlock Holmes and The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler. Along the way I have discovered the works of Rex Stout, who wrote about a detective team consisting of Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin. Nero Wolfe sits at home and receives the information while Archie goes out and gets it. I am positive that Wolfe is an Aspie. I'll write about it later.

In my travels I have learned about something called the Golden Age of Detective Fiction, which took place around the 1920's and 30's. The basic story behind most of these is that a group of people are gathered in a secluded place, generally an old British mansion, and someone dies. The detective must figure out who did it. These stories are generally very proper and very British. There are even a set of Ten Commandments written by a guy called Ronald A. Knox.

I plan on breaking every or most of the rules that he has.

1. The Criminal must be mentioned in the early part of the story, but must not be anyone whose thoughts the reader has been allowed to follow. Not a rule that should be to hard to break. The Criminal can be mentioned later or could be the main character. I heard that Agatha Christie did the later once, so this might be one of the rules that I don't break.
2. All supernatural or preternatural agencies are ruled out as a matter of course. So far, my main detective is Jack Blackwright, an Irish sorcerer with connections to various secret societies. This rule has been broken before I even knew it was a rule.
3. Not more then one secret room or passage is allowable. Screw that, I'll have as many secret passageways as I want.
4. No hitherto undiscovered poisons may be used, nor any appliance which will need a long scientific explanation at the end. Explain it in the middle or don't explain it at all.
5. No Chinaman must figure in the story. This rule is racist and stupid. Yet oddly funny.
6. No accident must ever help the detective, nor must he ever have an unaccountable intuition which proves to be right. I'm taking Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks as an inspiration for Jack, so dreams are a valid source of evidence in my world. Throwing rocks at a bottle may also be acceptable.
7. The detective himself must not commit the crime. Hm, breaking that rule does seem to ruin the story. I think Agatha Christie broke it before I did anyways.
8. The detective is bound to declare any clues upon which he may happen to light. Jack is somewhat paranoid and will hide information he has if he sees it as a good idea.
9. The stupid friend of the detective, the Watson, must not conceal from the reader any thoughts which pass through his mind; his intelligence must be slightly, but very slightly, below the average reader. Max Scarlett, the Watson in the Jack Blackwright stories is going to be smarter then the average reader.
10. Twin brothers, and doubles generally, must not appear unless we have been duly prepared for them Yeah, that does seem a bit like a cop out.

Alright, I'm probably not going to break all of these rules, except the one about the supernatural because that's what I write, and the one about Asians because that is just plain racist. Anyways, just thought I'd tell you that.

Japanese Me

Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I was born in Japan.

I tend to hang out with anime and manga fans during Lunch and art. I'm not into that kind of stuff, but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be born into an alien culture. How much would it affect me? If I was born into a Japanese family, but with the basic structure of my family in take (My parent's would have the same job, I'd have the same siblings, I'd still believe that I was a cat for awhile during my early childhood). Would I still have discovered the same books? Would I have discovered somethings earlier or later? Would I be into things that I care nothing about at the moment? Would I have a bunch of records by Tomoyasu Hotei and the 5,6,7 and 8's? Would I be a fanatic Haruki Murakami fan, or would I be nuts about Yoshio Mishima?
How about the rest of my family? Would we be Christian, or would we be Buddhist? How would being a native Japanese affect my family? Would Spirte be one of those Harajuku people that Gwen Stafani has a thing for? Who am I kidding, of course she would be. According to Wikipedia, cuteness or Kawaii, is highly prized in Japanese pop culture. I don't see myself as being that into the whole Kawaii factor, though.
What about Delila? Would she be really into Yukio Mishima, or would he be to much for her, what with being a somewhat depresive homosexual with radical right-wing beliefs who commited ritual samurai in rejection of the Americans. No, I don't think she'd be like that. She might be a bit into Kawaii, but not completely. I'd probubly be into more into Mishima then anyone else, but I don't think I would be that into him.
To be honest I don't even know that much about Japanese culture. Here's a list of what I know about it.

• It is a very ancient culture with time honored traditions, which has adjusted well to the modern world.
• They've got really weird TV shows (live Tetris and Pacman), and toilets.
• They have writers such as Yukio Mishima and Haruki Murakami
• Cuteness is good
• There technology kicks ass
• They're one of the G7
• There is a whole section that leads to everything one would need to know about Japanese culture on Wikipedia. I don't know anything about it, but it could be an interesting read.
  

I'm looking over Japanese subcultures now. Apparently during the 1960's, the youth revolution affected Nippon as well. This started a bunch of things called Zokus, which is Japanese for Tribe. I'd probubly have Zoku sympathies, especially the futen-zoku who are basically Japanese hippies.
Looking at all this stuff on Wikipedia, there dosn't seem to be many places where I could fit in Japanese culture. I'd probubly be reading alot of stuff I don't know about, but I still think I'd be reading the kind of stuff I'm reading now, i.e. The Beat Generation, The Master and Margarita.
On the subject of Aspergers Syndrome in Japan, they are aware of it. There's a place called "Asperger Society Friendly-Club." They'res also an Asperger Syndrome support group, but the information is in, surprise, Japanese. So I would have all the resources that I have now, just in Japanese. Since I would be Japanese, that wouldn't be a problem.

How to get David Lynch to not bug you about an Iphone

There's a British Man in the Basement

So I got home from Art class and what should I see but a strange truck in the driveway. My dad's a plumber, but this was a different plumbing van. I enter the house and say "Hello?" and someone replied back in an accent I can't pick up "Hello." I go to investigate and there's this man hunched over in the corner. He says he's here to fix the water heater and I recognize a British accent. I say okay and go upstairs. Now I can't wash my hands for twenty minutes, although by now it's got to be fifteen.

In other news, Lost is on tonight. There on the season finale, which means there going to answer all those annoying questions about the island soon. Unfortunately, it means there's not going to be any new Lost episodes. This makes me sad, because Lost is a really good show and it's basically all I have going on Thursdays. Now all I've got is Heroes, so the narrative had better pick up because Season 2 was seriously lagging. I figure the thing to do is write a bunch of stories as a TV series of my own. I could set them up as a novel or something.

My First Posted MSN conversation (My name isn't really David)

David says:
If I could I'd bring you a big box full of books
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
:)
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
if you could, i'd be happy
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
but for now i'll be happy with the thought of it
David says:
If I am able, then what books would you want?
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
heh, i could spend the next three straight days listing books i want dylan
David says:
Well, get down to that and I'll send you whichever ones I find
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
nah, you don't have to send me any books... that'd be horrendously expensive
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
thanks for the thought though
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hans and i are going to oslo next month, so i can pick up a few new books there, if all goes well
David says:
Okay, good luck
David says:
Maybe you could come over to Canada and we could go bookshopping here
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
that would be wonderful
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
maybe some day
David says:
Maybe when I have my own place
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
yep
David says:
You and Hans could come over and I could show you around whatever town I'm in, probubly Toronto
David says:
you and Hans can come over, buy a bunch of used books on the cheap, see the local sights and I'll make you pancakes and back-bacon,
David says:
We'll have a real canadian time
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hahaha
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
i may have to use that line one of these days
David says:
We can all drink beer, wear tooks and call each other "hozers"
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
wooo!
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
then after we've drank all the beer, we can walk through the streets singing O Canada even though i don't know the words
David says:
There I draw the line
David says:
I have a thing against National Anthems, all national anthems
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hehehe
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
don't blame you there
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
btw, i may have to post part of this convo on my blog... would you mind?
David says:
Oh, sure go ahead
David says:
Mind if I post this on my blog as well, I never posted a conversation before
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
nope, not at all
David says:
Great, I'm going to do it now
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hehe
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
go for it

The Long Road to University

Well, it's official, I am no longer taking the Internet Course.

It turns out that I don't have to take this course to get out of school, which was the only thing that was keeping me in it (and the chance to read 20'000 Leauges Under the Sea). However, the course was getting a bit annoying. The teacher was odviously swamped with paperwork so I could barely get my projects back, which I was behind on as it was. Also, the last project was going to take alot of work. I'd have to make a power point project on the literary history of a country or ethnic group, giving 4-6 examples of a major literary movement within them, 4-6 major authors from the chosen country/region/group, explain the style of the various movements, how they affected world literature and explain why I choose these praticular writers. It would have taken me way more time then I had. I have a copy printed of to do in my spare time.

It's at this time when I have quit my Internet Course that I would like to make a confession. I never completed the Mill on the Floss. There I said it and now there is nothing anyone can make me do about it. Ha ha. The book made me to angry, because it showed very cruel treatment to women. Towards the middle of the book I couldn't go two pages without completely going berserk. I'll write another post about it sometime, but not know.

And on the thing to University, we are not completely ruling out Conrad Grebel. You may remember it as the place where the lady didn't seem prepared to take me because of my Aspergers Syndrome. Well it turns out that they're still interested and may give me a single room. They could probubly help, but I need to figure out somekind of way for me to be of some use to there carefully planned society. So far all I've got is that I will give my various dorm-mates experience with autistic people, which is good since the population of autistic folks is growing. Anyways, I'm meeting with a friend later today who will help me put a spin on the interview.

And that's all I've got now.

Detective Fiction

The first Jack Blackwright story has been written. It's called "Godot is Dead" and is about the murder of an actor playing Godot in a sequel to Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot. It was based on an idea to write an existential murder mystery. Steph read it and it didn't make much sense to her. I think I came of as writing an absurdist murder mystery, which may just be most stories about Jack Blackwright. I'm also working on the first novel or novella.

I'm becoming more and more interested in the mystery genre. I've been reading various Sherlock Holmes stories, as well as picking up an anthology about detective duos. I read the one story about Nero Wolfe, whome I had only known as Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler's love-child in the Wold Newton Family. I am pretty sure that Nero Wolfe has Aspergers Syndrome. Because of this, I plan on making a closer look into detective fiction. I'm probubly going to make the two main novels in the Sixties Series based around Mysteries. I know the Summer of Love novel has a court case of somekind. Also, murder play a heavy role in the second novel.

Anyways, just thought I'd update you on where my writing is going.

Slow Day

Today has been a sick day.

I've come down with a cold, or my allergies are acting up. I've finally faced the fact I have them. In this case, allerigies to spring. I've been home all day and have only worn a dressing-gown. I could feel the disease inside me. I can't feel much of it now.

I've officially finished half my course today. Now I need to do ten more. It shouldn't be to hard. I found a podcast for "A Tale of Two-Cities," and Post-Modernism is basically watching The Matrix. I don't know why a literacy course has a movie for it. My guess is all the really big post-modernist novels have sex and drugs in them or something. And one of the Modules is just a reading journel so I can do that in a day. This week I've got to read "The Miller's Daughter" by Emile Zola and "A Tale of Two-Cities," by Charles Dickens. Shouldn't be to much of a problem. I'll pick up the book at the library and read along.

That's basically it. Sick days don't generate alot of posting material.

500

It's official, I am now at 500 Posts. Since the last day I posted, I did quite alot of stuff I want to make sure you all had a chance to read it. I'm writing this on the 25th of April, but will post it when you've all answered the Movie-Quote Test thing.

And so as not to make this a completely innane test, you can all watch this youtube clip of the 1973 movie "The Final Programme", based on the Michael Moorcock novel of the same name.

Guess The Movie!

Hey, I found this contest on DeviantArt. Basically, you have to guess which movie this is from. Warning, I'm into some obscure movies.

1. Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?
2. You know, this used to be a helluva good country. I can't understand what's gone wrong with it.
3. Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
4. Do you find me sadistic? You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic.
5. We thought about it for a long time, "Endeavor to persevere." And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.
6. Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
7. Learn French or die.
8. Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.
9. Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle
10. You are seven years old. You are a man. Bury your first toy and your mother's picture.
11. Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.
12. Now, repeat after me: "Homosexuality is the best all-round cover an agent ever had."
13. Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
14. Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
15. I'm voting for Dukakis.
16. Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way
17. You know, that's good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere
18. That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood.
19. I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.
20. Tut, tut. Such ingratitude after all the times I saved your life.

There, now we see how many you guys get. Remember, you have to identify them yourself.

The Worst Former Celebrety TV Show Ever

Some ideas are just so odvious they should not be made into a series. Case in point: Celebrety Rehab. Yes, we can now watch a program about celebreties, most likely washed-up ones, kick there junk habit. Here's an example of an episode.

On the series premiere of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" eight drug addicted celebrities check themselves into rehab under the care of Dr. Drew Pinsky and begin their difficult battle for sobriety. As each celebrity (Brigitte Nielsen, Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer, Jeff Conaway, Daniel Baldwin, Seth "Shifty" Binzer, Mary Carey, Jaimee Foxworth & Jessica Sierra) is introduced, their painful backstory and struggle with drugs is profiled. Dr. Drew begins to analyze and assess his patients' struggles through a series of one-on-one meetings, but his attention is pulled away by a drunken, doped up Jeff Conaway who lapses into a seizure and ends up being rushed to the hospital.

Okay, first off, I don't know who any of these people are. Alright, except for Brigette Nielsen, but that's only because I saw her on the Surreal Life (which wasn't at all Surreal). Second, who wants to see a bunch of washed up celebreties kick there drug habit. I have an idea what withdrawal syndromes are like and it is not pretty. I know that there are probubly alot of drugged-up celebreties, but that is no reason to make a show about it damn it. They're poor junkies, not guenie pigs for another lame television show.

On the plus side, when the ideas get this stupid, reality TV is bound to be close to death.

Haikus I-IV

Haiku I
This is Haiku One
First in a Haiku Series to
be finished at death.

Haiku II
The three art students
Paint a thong on a computer.
I feel superior.

Haiku III
Girl thinks Ginsberg kid
In Brown's Latin Class. Damn it.
Nobody reads the classics.

Haiku IV
Internet Course says
Write a mock epic. I did
And I hated it.

I've been considering writing Haiku. It's short and simple and many great writers wrote it, so why not me. Kerouac wrote Haiku, Richard Wright wrote Haiku, Charles Bukowski might have written Haiku, I'm not sure. But here are my first four Haikus. Share and Enjoy!

David Lynch on Youtube (Mainly a guy who looks like David Lynch)

Here's a video of David Lynch talking about the Iphone. Warning, there is swearing.

And here's videoes of David Lynch solving people's everyday problems.

Identify the people on the following list without using Wikipedia or anything like that

I feel lonely. It's like I'm the only person around who knows who Jack Keroauc, William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch or anyone else cool is. I could probubly go on about how isolated an lonely I am, but who wants to read that.

End of post.

YEAH! Someone I can connect with!

Well, I have to do my first test soon. I'm not doing it now, because I'm concentrating on getting all my DeviantArt stuff done. Thankfully, I am also very close to finsihing the second fourth. I'm feeling very confident about getting all this finished so I can go on to reading something interesting like "The Hounds of the Baskervilles."

I kind of had Tango lessons yesterday, but it was basically going over the steps I know. Not alot of people showed up, basically it was just me, Max and Max's girlfriend. It was pretty cool, we talked about praying mantis which Max believes are all really butch lesbians(the women at least), psychedelic drugs and books. I also hung out with Max a bit while we walked over to his place of buisness.

I think Max may be one of the few people I can actually connect with. We're both writers and artists, we both have strong counter-culture leanings. Also, I don't have to explain everything I'm into with him. He also said I should try writing screenplays, since from what he's read I'm better at dialouge. I think he has a point, so now I'm re-writing "The Last Dance Revolution" as a movie. Now all I need to do is get Johnny Depp to play Naos.

One last thing, my Employment Specalist called and it looks like I might get a job soon. Just thought I'd tell you.

Course Confusion, Residence Searches and (More Importantly) Wold Newton Speculation

I hate my Internet Course. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I just got back some information on a formal outline I did for an essay I didn't need to write, and the teacher said I was doing it wrong in a way that said I wasn't doing anything wrong and it confuses me and all I can think is "Who is she to tell me how to write an outline? She's not even here! If I thought of her as an actual human being as compared to some invisible entity that judges my work from a distance and who I could actually talk to then we wouldn't have a problem, since I could actually discuss this with her. And that's how I ended up at the public library.
So, in other news my Mom and I checked out the University at Waterloo to see if there was another residence besides Conrad Grebel that I could go to. On Thursday we looked at Renison and yesterday we looked at St. Paul's. Renison was great. They said they would try and get me a single room, which I liked. I would make a terrible roommate. Since my main interests are making family trees for fictional characters and odd, obscure books and films, combined with my lack of social skills and possibly annoying nightly habits. (Listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage at 10:00 PM till Midnight on Sundays), I would not make the best of roommates. I should recognize that a roommate is a possibility, and prepare. Also, I liked the feel of Renison better then St. Pauls. The rooms and halls in Renison felt better. Also, Renison has more experience with autistic people such as myself.
I've been looking at various Wold Newton articles and am beginning to realize that there is alot of discrepencies between them. The involvement of Superheroes is something I'm not sure about. Maybe some comic book characters, such as a very limited translation of Shang Chi I can except because of his involvement with Fu Manchu, but Superman and the Fantastic Four seem to be pushing it. And don't get me started on who Captain Nemo is really. I'm going for he's the Immortal Alchemist Joseph Balasmo, as well as Robur the Conqueror, Arthur Gordon Pym, The Count of Monte Cristo and possibly Hagbard Celine and John Sunlight. The traditional concept was that Captain Nemo was an alias of Professor Moriarty.
From what I can see here, I may just be picking and choosing what to put in my own version of the Wold Newton Universe. So because of this, pretty much all superheroes are going to be left out, or altered. I can see Constantine and Octobriana in there. Also, I'm thinking about using the information in the Star Inn Meteorite to help the back story, as well as looking into some other meteroites to back up any families descended in Africa, Asia and the Americas.
Also, I'm starting to wonder if I should adjust some version of the Wold Newton Myth into my own mythology. I've already worked in the works of Michael Moorcock, H.P. Lovecraft and the Marquis de Sade's work into my mythology, why not take it further. I don't know if I'll actually put the Wold Newton family in there directly, but I've got three major families (The Blackwrights, The Saint-Clairs and the Howllers). I doubt that I'll make it part of the whole thing, but I'll probubly make it seem like they are part of the over all mythos. I don't see Doc Savage or Tarzan appearing alongside Orlando Morningstar or Jack Blackwright, but the basic idea is something to play around with.

Tango Lessons

So as my readers should know if they care about my social life, I am taking Tango lessons after school at 6. My teacher is fellow student Max (not real name), or as I actually call him De Quincy. I call him De Quincy because he smokes tobacco out of an opium pipe. Since he's the kind of guy who read Confessions of an English Opium Eater, he gets the refrence. Actually, anybody who would smoke anything out of an Opium pipe would be aware of the refrence. If your not, Thomas De Quincy is a guy who smoked alot of Opium and wrote a book about it. This was all during the 1800's or something. Give me a second to check Wikipedia.(...). It was written in 1822.

So, in the Tango lessons, I am considered pretty good. I'm very proud of that. My partner is Max's girlfriend, which is a bit of a joke in the class as the Tango is a known as a sexually-charged dance. Today was pretty good, because I'm really starting to get the hang of the Tango. I told Max's girlfriend (let's call her Cathrine), that I wanted to get out of the loveless German marriage Tango we were doing. By loveless German Tango, I mean that she'd actually lean on my hip during the dip. Because of my poor muscle structure she leaned a bit herself. We did that a couple times. One time I really caught Cathrine off guard while dipping her. I was a bit disconcerted by this but she said it was alright and that I was doing good.

And that's all.

Beat Generation Videos I Found, Part 2: Naked Lunch Feature

Here are some videos of William S. Burroughs. Sorry for the poor quality.

Odd Little Phone Conversation

So here I was at the computer when the phone rang.

Me: Hello.
Phone-Guy: Hello, I am with Something-something phones. Is Mr or Mr. Writer available so we sell them a cell-phone.
Me: I don't want a cell phone.
Phone-Guy: But a cell phone can be a very important item.
Me: I don't want to want people calling me.
Phone-Guy: But what if your in an emergency? Say, if your in a car...
Me: I don't drive cars. I don't plan on ever learning to drive a car. (This is true)
Phone-Guy: Um, okay, let's say if your outside...
(At this point I didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't want to hang up for some reason. So, I did the only thing I could think off. I lied)
Me: Um, that wouldn't happen either. I never leave the house. I'm a shut-in.
Phone-guy: A shut-in?
Me: Yeah.
Phone-guy: But, what if you want to contact your parents...
Me: I'm sorry this phone line might be taped. (I hang up)

So that's what happened. I was probubly mistaken in that I should lie to him about being a shut-in. I think the appropriate thing to have done is to say "Nobody would like a cell phone." I may have said that, but he kept up going on. I also have a question for Steph, who used to be a telemarketer, if this is something telemarketers enjoy. Just thought that I'd post this.

Complete Cooper's Dream

I know I already posted this sort of, but this is the full scene. The first one left out the cool bit with Mike and Bob. Enjoy.

The Top Five Desert Island Book List (First Draft)

I've been thinking about making a list of books that I'd like to have with me if I were on a Desert Island. This is the list I have at the time.

1. Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, by Tom Robbins. I'd like to say that any Tom Robbins book will do, but I've only read this one from start to finished. But that would probubly be true, because Tom Robbins prose is a delight to read. Also, I can relate to Sissy Hankshaw as she has a social stigma that seperates her from the normal human race, in this case freaky huge thumbs. Naturally, she becomes a hitchhiker. The story features Lesbian cowgirls, a homosexual cosmetics millionare, whooping crane and an escapee from a Japanese internment camp.
2. The Stand (uncut and extended), by Stephen King. This is one of my favorite Stephen King novels and it's easier then just bringing the entire Dark Tower series. Tells the story of the battle between good and evil after a plauge desimates America. Inspired Lost and the backbone of my Hippie Stories. Randall Flagg is the best villian ever.
3. The Master and Margarita, by Mikhail Bulgakov, written in secret during the worst days of the Soviet Union, this book features Woland (Satan) and his retinue of demons, witches and cats recking havoc upon the Soviet Literary Elite, as well as a Faustian love story and a look back at the last days of Jesus Christ. I'm reading it at the moment.
4. Smoke and Mirrors or Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman, A book of short stories will be nessisary and Neil Gaiman writes good short stories. Both of these are good choices. If they ever make a book of complete short stories of Neil Gaiman I'll take that, but since we don't have that I'll probubly take Smoke and Mirrors, since it has "Shoggoth's Old Peculiar"
5. The Complete Works of William Blake, by William Blake. I figure it would be nice to have some poetry and I always meant to read William Blake's epic poems. It could also work as something inspirational.

The Continuing Saga of the Great University Residence Hunt

So my parents and I went to check out Conrad Grebel to see how Aspie-friendly it would be. Conrad Grebel is a residence on the Waterloo Campus that my parents are thinking about sending me. I had no problem. It was nice, cozy and had good cookies. From what we heard Conrad Grebel would have a good community. Unfortunatly, the interview didn't go over well. The lady we talked to had very little experience with Aspergers Syndrome. They only had one person, a girl who found it very difficult. During the conversation we could see why that was.

The woman we talked to wasn't conserned about making getting me into Conrad Grebel, as much as how I would effect the rest of the community. Also, there idea of a community seems to be complete devotion to the community. I also meet none of the qualifications that are needed. I don't have much in the way of community involvement such as being the president or anything. To be honest, the only thing that I meet is that I'm Mennonite. Apparently, if your Mennonite you have a much higher chance. To be honest, the problem with Conrad Grebel is there to autistic. They seem to want everything to be this perfectly run community and nothing to be stressful. My pressence there would distrub them. Ironically, I was sitting there thinking how we could work this out and be flexable. In the end however, I think that this may not be the best fit for me, though Conrad Grebel does seem to need a some stirring up if it's that homogenous.

My Mom was very disapointed with the entire thing, but know we're going to look into other residences at Waterloo. At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. Waterloo University, which Conrad Grebel is part off, has hundreds of courses and seems to meet me academically. We just don't know if it's a good environment for me yet. Wilfred Laurier, which we're also looking into, has a much better support network. The Wilfred Laurier lady we talked there was very calm and had figget toys for me to play with and made me feel very good. The Conrad Grebel made me feel a bit uneasy.

My parents plan on checking into other residences in Waterloo, well my mom is, but my dad will want to know too. We're looking for a room I can have to myself, since I would make a terrible roommate. That was another thing factor in me not being excepted into Conrad Grebel, every room except for the Don's is a double residence. To be a Don I'd have to have more years and help people with there own social problems (great job choice right?). Anyways, we went home and I went to Tango lessons, which I am very good at. That's all I've got to say.

To Play The Movies or Not to Play The Movies

So a friend of mine showed a zombie movie she made using a computer game called "The Movies." Basically you make movies using tacky models and stuff. She said she'd give me a burnt copy or something, which is okay because it seemed cool at the moment, but I'm having second thoughts at the moment. I don't know if I could properly make the movies I would like to make. I'd have to have alot more control over costume and stuff like that, which I don't think the game allows. Also, I plan on making a few of Helen's films, although "Blood Poet" is the only one that I got at the moment, and they don't have blood in the game. Maybe I could figure out a way to up the anty on the game, but I don't know if that's possible. So I may just pass on the entire thing. Just I thought I'd say something about.

Odd Hip Hop Stuff

Grandpa, I know you read my blog and I just want to warn you that there is some swearing in this.

ADVENTURE TIME!!!

This is among the craziest things I have ever seen and it should have been picked up.

Pope is overated

Well, it's halfway through March Break and I'm holding of to do actual homework till latter because I am lazy. I do plan on getting Module 5 and 6 0r 7 soon. I'm going to have to read "The Rape of the Lock" by Alexander Pope a few times, but other then that I feel confident. I could complain about Pope being a traditionalist who wrote annoying sixteen page long poems about gnomes and slyphs and unlocking something, but I should be keeping my mind on Module 5 which is easier. The poems are only sonnets and they don't use epic language to express everyday activities, which is confusing and should not be sixteen frelling pages.

In the meantime, I've been checking out Universities. It looks like I'll be living at Conrad Grabel, which is a small campus owned by the Mennonite Church that has the best cookies I have ever hade in my life. I might just go to Waterloo, which I checked out yesterday, since I'll only be taking Arts courses like Religion, English and Fine Arts, which is all in the same place. Conrad Grabel is still close to Wilfred Laurier, so I could walk there. I also went to the Old Goat Book Store, where I bought the following.

• The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, by Gertrude Stein. Yes, I know that's an oxymoron, you'd have to take it up with Gertrude Stein or Alice B. Toklas. Unfortunatly, there both dead. To confuse you more it's more about Gertrude Stein.
• The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler. It has Philip Marlowe in it. I have never read anything with Philip Marlowe, but since you can spot a parody of him a mile away even if you've never heard of him, then I probubly should. Also, Chandler was an influence on The Big Lebowski.
• The Silver Warriors, by Michael Moorcock. I own more Moorcock then any other writer. If you can't pick up cheep Moorcock at any Used Bookstore, then you don't have a decent Used Bookstore in my opinion. The only problem is that I have so many Moorcock books that when I go to a Used Bookstore I am hardpressed to find a book that I don't already own.
• The Last Two Books about Hawkmoon in the Count Brass trilogy, I can't remember the name but it's by Michael Moorcock.

I'm going back to check out Wilfred Laurier and then to KW Bookstore and Casablanca Books. I'll be writing up a list of books to look for sometime tonight when I'm done this stupid Metaphysical Poetry Module. That's all I can think about writing today. Good night and good luck.

I need a Dungeons and Dragons fix

So Gary Gygax is dead. The man who invented Dungeons and Dragons, and therefore the Role-Playing Game, has passed away. His character sheet has been erased and has gone up to Role-Player's Valhalla where he will feast with the mighty Role-Players of the past.

I havn't played a game of Dungeons and Dragons in ages and I think it's time to get that 20-sided Dice out of retirement. My only problem is that I don't have anyone I can play with. My sisters are either too young or not interested. Maybe I should just work on getting Mythania as a campaign setting done.

Mythania is becoming more frustrating for me. I'm starting to want to abandon the entire concept. I have to change the name because someone has already gotten the name Mythania. I'm also thinking about having it as a series of planets. Not sure how that should work exactly, but there should be like nine major planets and various moon-type things orbiting gas giants. The main planets would have the major civilizations, while the moons are largelly unexplored and is considered to have all kinds of lost civilizations and bandits and good stuff like that. That and there's like over eighty something sentient species in Mythania, most of which I probubly won't get into.

I'm a bit worried about the extensive sentient species. The standard fantasy universe generally has like five, but Mythania or whatever I'm going to call it from now on is going to have several, and I don't know how people will react to that. I suppose only like ten or twenty will be of any real importance, but people will attach to these little species that don't matter much and write fanfic or something like that.

Beat Generation Videos I Found, Part 1

Found some videos on the Beat Generation, featuring the Great Beats themselves. First, we have Kerouac explaining what else, but On the Road, on the Steve Allen show. Hope this works.

Yes, it worked. Ha ha. And here's a rare video of Allen Ginsberg and Neal Cassady. Allen Ginsberg is the one with the beard. He wrote Howl, which caused a big obsenety trial because it was the 1950's and there was refrences the homosexual fantasies. Neal Cassady wrote a bunch of letters and the first bit of an autobiography, but is best known for being the inspiration for Dean Moriarty in On the Road. A comment on Youtube said that he had Kramer like facial twiches, which you can see in the third video.

And finally, some William S. Burroughs. I love his voice.

DeviantArt Blues

I'm thinking about leaving DeviantArt, or at least pulling my art from it. I don't trust it anymore. I'm getting news about stealing and stuff like that. Also, the name is completely misleading. DeviantArt is not made up of bohemian starving artist types, from what I can see it's more people who are into Magna and Anime (which is a genre I am getting really annoyed buy). Also, the people behind DeviantArt can censor art they believe is offensive. The entire point about being a Deviant is that your supposed to be offensive. People thought Picasso was offensive when he was out. Heck, all the great artists of the early 20th century wouldn't be allowed on DevinatArt if it was around in there time.

My problem is that there are still some artists I want to keep an eye on. If I pack up and leave DeviantArt, then I can't see what there up too. I guess I could just take down all my art, but keep watching the people who I want to watch, but a couple people have already "faved" my work and I don't want to disturb them. Of course, if I don't want to be on DevinatArt then I guess they shouldn't be a factor.

This was my delema, but I'm really thinking I should leave DeviantArt.

Good News and Bad News and anything that might fall inbetween

So I've got a cold, which means that it will soon be spring. Yeah, no more snow and I got a three day weekend, even though I felt like shit all Monday and couldn't get to sleep. Ironically, most of the night was spent having a dream about how I couldn't get to sleep and watched a movie based on Alejandro Jodorowsky's Metabarons series, which was a graphic novel detailing the history of a family of cyborg warriors using elements from Alejandro Jodorowsky's unfinished Dune movie. Strange thing is, I've never read anything in the Metabarons series beyond a preview, I just looked at it and thought that it was The Metabarons. Maybe it was the unfinished Dune movie, and I was seeing it from an alternate universe where it was completed. Ironically, I'm rereading the novel Dune. I don't know if it has any connection, probubly dosn't as Jodorowsky only used the basic idea of the book.

In other news, I'm taking Tango lessons on Wednesdays. The teacher, a fellow student who we'll call Max since that's the name of a character who will be based of this individual. I got a basic lesson in the Tango, learning how to step and twirl my partner, who in this case was Max's girlfriend. (There weren't many people there). Max says I'm a natural, and once I got the hang of it I really enjoyed myself.

And on a sadder note, The Giant Squid, the independent video store I went to practically every Friday night, is closing it's doors for the last time. They couldn't get enough money, so they had to close down. This makes me feel very sad, not only because the Giant Squid had some of the best movies I had ever seen, it now means I have nowhere to go on Fridays. The Giant Squid turned me on to such cool stuff as The Big Lebowski, Alejandro Jodorowsky and Twin Peaks. A big thank you to the guy who used to run the Giant Squid for letting me borrow the last seven episodes of Twin Peaks. It greatly saddens me that they had to close, and I am going to start going to more independently owned stores so that things like this never happen again.

Just came down to finish up this post. I hope that you all enjoy the update on my life. I plan on doing a tribute to the Giant Squid sometime.

So Behind. So very, very behind.

I'm skipping ahead to Neo-Classisical poetry, inpraticular The Rape of the Lock by Alexander Pope. This poem makes no sense to me. I have no idea what's going on, probubly because it's uses epic language to explain daily events, which confuses me. I have many issues with the Greeks and Romans, such as the fact they glorified war, and I don't see why anyone would want to emulate them. So they're old and dead, so are man-eating sabertooth tigers. At least the tigers didn't write confusing 16-page long poems about a woman applying make-up and slyphs and gnomes and stuff.

I've worked out a theory for literature, and probubly art and general. Basically, people do something that uses the forces of rantionalism and order and everyday stuff (Neo-Classisim, Realism, Naturalism) and then people get tired and use romanticism and chaos (Metaphysical Poetry, Romanticism, Cubism and Surrealism and stuff) and then go back to rational thought again. I don't know where modernism and postmodernism play. I find this frustrating and would like to take an axe to this entire method, but I probubly can't. Why do I choose all the fights that are impossible to win?

So anyways, I am far behind in my work. Yesterday however, we had Swiss Chalet, which was very nice and made me happy. I wish I had some now because they've got good fries and chicken.

Internet Course Stress

Did I tell you guys I have an internet course? I have an internet course on literature. I thought it'd be fun. I'd get to read a bunch of stuff. Then I realized I had to read alot of stuff. They didn't say anything about Realism and Naturalism, neither of which I think are movements I see myself as being big on. I guess I could read the bit where they talk about it, I'll do that after I'm done this post.

I'm behind on my schedule. My aunt, who's the person who comes over and tells you your behind, wrote me up a schedule and I'm behind. I should be working on Tartuffe by now if I was following this course. But I'm still on Metaphysical Poetry. I have to write a three-page essay comparing the sonnets of John Donne to the sonnets of William Shakesphere. I've got nothing. I feel like I'm breaking down. I don't know how I'm going to get through this course.

I'm still stressed, but I needed to write this down. Positive Social Feedback will be appreciated.

Random Thought on God and Stuff

So I was wandering a local bookstore when I thought when I wondered why we have Sundays. I mean, what's all this about one holy day? Why can't all ideas be holy? What makes Sunday so holy, compared to Tuesday lets say? Just thought I'd bring that up.

The difference between Helenaos and Sophia

In my mythos there are two major forces of Good, kind of inspired by the Hindu Gods Vishnu and Shiva. Like the Hindu Gods and William Blake's mythology, they are both contemplating male and female forces. Naos and Helen I got down, they're odviously equivalent to Shiva and Durga/Kali. Sophia I'm not so sure of. I'm guessing that her counterpart is going to have a name derived from some Greek word for love. I need to work on this more. I'm not sure how. I suppose reading various Gnostic texts would be a start, though I don't think my philosophy goes with the gnostics, since I don't reject the material world to the extent they did. In Gnosticism, Jesus Chirst was the counterpart of Sophia, so I suppose this character may be the most odvious Christ figure in my mythos, despite the fact nearly all my major Good Guy Deities have Christ-like attributes. (Naos' last name is Ben-David, a refrence to Jesus being of the House of David. Helen has stigmata wounds. Sophia has the whole unconditional love for creation thing).

I'm also trying to figure out how there various secret societies work out. In most cases I imagine they're the same secret society, but they both have there own things going and I'm sure they don't agree on some things. I know Sophia and her counterpart are behind the Rosicrucians and the Saint-Clairs, and probubly some Sufi Society. The kinds of people who make up Sophia's Following are ecstatic mystics and hippies.

The Naos and Helen secret society are based in part by a cult from Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol. I can't remember the exact name, but it was something like the Cult of the Nameless Book. It was really weird and surreal. I'm not saying that the Helenaos Secret Society is going to be really weird and surreal, but the structure will be the same, various organizations that have there own weirdness overlapping into a single organization. I already have three organizations, The Howller Family, The Pact of Lilith and the Furies. I'm also thinking that Little Steven's Underground Garage may be in there somewhere. Followers of Naos and Helen are more wild and untamed then followers of Sophia, The Howller Family being sorcerous tricksters and the Furies being creepy vampiresque buggers. The Pact of Lilith is probubly a bit of both parties, which is appropriate as they are a tantric order and I read or heard somewhere that tantra means "connection."

Well, that's all. G'night.

Movie Review: Natural Born Killers

For awhile I've been wanting to do a review of the movie Natural Born Killers, mainly since I feel I need to get my mind around it. The movie is about Mickey and Mallory Knox, a young married couple who travel across the South-West killing people at random. The movie deals with there life story, there arrest and finally there escape. It's meant to be a commentary on American society, and the media in praticular.
Watching Natural Born Killers was like being on an acid trip. The colours are disconcerting and the film branches of into various different images, including animation, a look at Mallory's early life is in the style of a 1950's comedy, her father being drunk who sexually molests her, and random flashes of demons and Frankenstein. Also, the film is very violent and bloody, which shouldn't be much of a surprise considering the protaganists are serial killers.
The thing that bothers me the most about Natural Born Killers was how it dealt with the issue of Media in the modern world. The film is against the media's portrayal of violence, but it also glorifies it. Mickey and Mallory condem the journalist guy, but there way of killing people is done in a very media freindly way. (Pretty much, they only leave one person alive to tell the authorities what they did).
Well, that's all I can talk about this movie. I'm going to end this now because I am bored and do not care to talk much more about it. To conclude, don't watch Natural Born Killers on a whim, and it confused me alot.

Alone Once Again on Valentine's Day

Apparently there may have been more then one Saint Valentine. The three records of him show that he may have been a priest in Rome, a bishop in Interamna or a martyr in the Roman Province of Africa. Roman Catholisim celebrates his feast day today, and it is believed that it's celebrated today to overseed the Pagan Festival of Lupercalia. Anyways, he's one of the several saints who were martyred in Ancient Roman Times. It really got into swing when Chauser wrote a poem. But what do I care, I know feel alone and unsatisfied. Why? Valentine's day isn't about love, it's about cards. The Evil Consumer Lizard Society only uses it to increase there hold on us. So why am I so depressed? I probubly can't say that without tearing open my heart onto this blog page, so I won't.

On a happier note, Salman Rushdie is still alive. Yes, it has been nineteen years since a fatwa was laid on Salman Rushdie's head for writting The Satanic Verses. Salman Rushdie, if your liseaning to this, congragulation on not being killed. Although to be honest, the attacks on his life have been kind of lame. So far, everyone who's tried to kill him has been blown up by there own bombs.

Other then that things are alright. I'm doing fine in my Internet course, but if I don't finish this one Module by Friday I'll be behind. And I should be getting a new sketchbook. I also wish to socialize at somepoint. I may be going to a concert on Saturday, which should be fun. That's all I've got to say today.

First Post of February

Sorry I havn't been writing. The Internet course I took is keeping me busy. Yes, I'm doing an internet course. It's pretty fun. I'm just getting the Module on Faustus done. Next I have to read Shakesphere's Sonnets. I read one in Illium, by Dan Simmons. I wouldn't have understood it without the commentary. I liked Faustus. I was a little perturbed by the fact it seemed so high and mighty, but then I tuned into the fact that Faustus sold his soul to the devil, so I dropped my bias.
In the Wold Newton Department, I have a bit done on lineage of The Dude, from the Big Lebowski. I plan on writing an article about it sometime. Baiscally, the Dude's father was Dean Moriarty from Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" and his mother was the daughter of Anastasia Romanov. I may even start a Wold Newton blog, but I don't know if I'd let anyone else in. Especially the guys who worked in all the superheroes. Superman, Batman and Spiderman and all that. They already have there own universe, we don't need them in the Wold Newton chronology.
My next Wold Newton project is probubly going to have to do with the Blackadder family. There's also alot of Kanes out there (Solomon Kane, Charles Foster Kane, Michael Kane, Kwai Chang Caine), so I figured it be nice to work them into a family tree. I also still have to work Sissy Hankshaw, Cornelius and Co., half the Quentin Tarantino canon,Wyatt and Billy from Easy Rider and Dale Cooper in there somehow. I suppose once I get the Kane and Blackadder family trees done I could work them in. I'm also thinking about looking into any offshoots from the Bond family tree, since there are alot of loose branches.