Still haven't gotten a job, but that can all be blamed on the fact I haven't gotten up to do it. My writing has slowed down, which is also due to my own laziness. I seem to be better at writing down ideas then stories. I'm also coming down with a stuffy nose, which hasen't stopped me from dropping by my favorite cafe and drinking a nice warm cup of hot chocolate.
Well, besides the stuffy nose there isn't that much I can talk about. I went to the funeral of a friend's relative, but I'm not going to go into that because it's not really my business and it certainly isn't yours (unless you are said friends, in which case you know what I'm talking about). And while I was there I began thinking about death. Death is something I think about, specifically my death, late at night. The fact that one day I won't exist anymore is a bit bothersome and scary. I'm very used to having at least some awareness about what is going on in the world around me and the fact that one day this will all just stop scares me. Also, there is the fact that I'll miss my own funeral, and generally I like things that are about me. Since funerals are all about the dead person, I'd be missing out on one of the few times that it is all about me. That ticks me off, because I'm a very egocentric person.
Which brings me up to other bit of internal life news. I'm realizing that I can be a pretty self-absourbed person sometimes. I mean, I'm not an egocentric jerk all the time, I think. The problem in all this is at somepoint in my life, after I have reached the first milestone of living on my own I want to have a girlfriend, maybe even a wife. If I am to do this I'm going to have to become less egocentric, as I'm going to have to live with another human being for a longtime. Maybe I'm getting to far ahead in my development. Ah, maybe I should just stop talking about all this before I give to much away to the trolls.
Well, all I can say for now is that things are looking up. I am feeling better emotionally and my nose is feeling better as well, maybe because I took some Reactin earlier, but other then that I don't know.
2 comments:
I think I'm one of the very few people that really isn't bothered by the thought of being dead. Don't get me wrong, the act of dying is a little bothersome, but I'm cool with the fact that I'm going to be dead a lot longer than alive.
That, or I'm just too dumb to wrap my mind around the whole 'forever' concept. But I don't think so.
Glad your emotional state has perked up though. Keep writing!
Thanks Steph, I appreciate your feedback
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