Could this be the end of The Aspie Diaries?

Very probably.

I am very tempted to just go on about how shitty I feel at the moment, and despite the fact it's almost Christmas I'm not feeling alot of that cheer. I have been working on my final exam, the one for the Jesus class and it has largely been driving me nuts. Or more likely not getting enough time to write it has been driving me nuts. Much worse is that my sleep patterns are off, my schedule is a mess and I'm not blogging as much as I should.
Which brings me to what I was thinking about doing for awhile, starting a new blog. I'm not the same person I was when I started writing this thing, and to be honest most of this blog feels like dead weight to me. Maybe a new refreshing blog is just what I need right now.
So for the next few days I'll be getting this stupid paper done and coming up with a new blog to replace "the Aspie Diaries." I'll still keep this blog up and officially my last post will be an announcement that the new blog is up and running. I hope that this new blog will help me rediscover my passion for internet journalism.

Getting Better

Things are looking better for me more and more. I got up at a desent time yesterday (9:3o AM), but not today because I was lazy, but the good news is I found the secret. It's to put my alarm clock at a distance from myself. Along with that I am going to have an interview for a job soon. I'm not going to go into any detail, but I am looking forward to it. If things get any better, I'll be having short stories published in major magazines, having my name reached out to all corners of the literary world.

I've been thinking about the movement I've been working on, and the idea that I'd start a movement is scaring me. A friend of mine is discussing founding a magazine with me about this, and I'm starting to realize I don't want to run a magazine. I don't have the neccisary skills to run a magazine. I don't even want to run a magazine. It will cut into my writing time. The idea is filling me with dread and fear in the long hours of the night, when I have sudden fears of non-existance. I'm going to bring this up to my friend, that I don't want to get involved in this.

To be honest, the whole Magic Naturalism thing was just one of my dellusions of starting a new Beat Generation, which all in all is one of the last things I would want. I don't have the social skills of a Ginsberg, or the abbility to run of and hide in my alchoholism of a Kerouac. The best I could do is pull a Burroughs and leave the country for a good long time and wait until it all blows over. That would probubly be my best move, all things considered. But with the Internet would that even matter? Would they just track me down using, I don't know twitter or something? Can they even track me down with twitter if I'm not on it? You know what I'm saying, can I be tracked down using the internet? If I do it right probubly not. I'll have to do it right then, and not tell you, because Time Magazine will be reading this then.

Oh, who am I kidding. It will probubly be Macleans.

I Thought This Would Be Longer

I've had a pretty eventful few days, filled with equal parts activity and ennui. The activity is largelly involved with me going out for a weekend with some relatives to their cottage and watching the film Apocalypse Now. The ennui is my lack of a job and thus my day-to-day activities are not exactly ordered.

The trip to Muskoka I won't go into, just to say that it was an alright trip, I editted a short story I was working on and it was very relaxing. I'll also have some pictures up as soon as my relatives send it to me.

I had been having a strange desire to see Apocalypse Now for awhile. I saw a bit of it, but I never saw the whole movie. Sunday I managed to sit down and watch the entire film. It is one of the best movies I have ever seen and I will put it on the top ten list of the best movies I have ever seen. I'll have to make that list for the blog some day, it would give me something to do.

Speaking of things to do, I am bored most of the time. I am getting up later and later, and there is little reason for me to get up at all. I am barelly reading or writing, and I spend my nights in misery because I can't get to sleep and I have no one to talk too. I am working out a way to get up earlier, for what good it will do me. I'll tell you all about it later.

Insominia Maximus

Well, I broke my record of sleep deprevation. I didn't get to sleep until 6 in the morning. This bothers me, largelly because when I get like this I become worried that I'm doing something wrong, and I can't wake anyone up and tell them. The only people I can think of are suicide helplines and gay helplines, none of which I know off, of for that matter would be appropriate.

The only good thing about my routine is that I'm at my favorite cafe. I've barely been up an hour and I've already moved in over here. The problem is now I'm worried about my physical apperance. I think I do look a bit tired, and my teeth aren't that good. A few days ago they were in pain, but I flossed and it went away. Maybe I should floss when I get home. But I shouldn't bore you with how my body is doing. That's probubly rude for all I know.

My novella progress seems to have stalled, which annoys me. On the plus side I'm getting good reviews of a short story I wrote largelly to amuse myself. Michael (or Rowan as I may have called him, but I will be calling him Michael from now on) also gave me alot of useful advise, for instance that I'm writing for an audience that lives in the future and that I should think of them. I think my Dad may have brought this up, but for some reason when Michael said it there was more of an effect on me. Maybe it's because Michael is a writer, or reads more then my Dad and has more authority in this sort of thing. That is probubly it, but I've been thinking about what exactly this audience thing is. For a long time I thought I'd just write for myself, but since I want to be published I'm going to nead to know who exactly my demographic is. I don't think I ever used the word demographic before. I'm going to ask Nora what she things my demographic is...

(waiting)

...she says my demographic would be around 20-30 year old University education caucasians (mostly males) who are in a creative field, like writing or television. She also sees my writing as a bit like Quentin Tarantino, possibly as someone who would do a film version of one of my novels. She did say thats he could be wrong about that, but if she's right my audience will be made up largelly of hipster film geeks. Despite the fact I have no idea of what hipster culture actually is except the decadent inheritors of the counter-culture with bad haircuts, fashion senses I don't understand and something I largelly see myself as an outsider to, I feel largelly alright with this.

I also think that I may have an autistic audience as well, and by autistic I also mean parents of people with autism as well. Since I have Aspergers Syndrome, I will have all kinds of parents thinking, wow this guy has Aspergers Syndrome, maybe little Billy has a future. That makes me feel a bit happy, because then I could help all my Autistic Brethren. I could be like, I don't know, that guy who wrote a book about his minority that brought national identity to them. Angus Wilson or something like that.