Slow Day

Today has been a sick day.

I've come down with a cold, or my allergies are acting up. I've finally faced the fact I have them. In this case, allerigies to spring. I've been home all day and have only worn a dressing-gown. I could feel the disease inside me. I can't feel much of it now.

I've officially finished half my course today. Now I need to do ten more. It shouldn't be to hard. I found a podcast for "A Tale of Two-Cities," and Post-Modernism is basically watching The Matrix. I don't know why a literacy course has a movie for it. My guess is all the really big post-modernist novels have sex and drugs in them or something. And one of the Modules is just a reading journel so I can do that in a day. This week I've got to read "The Miller's Daughter" by Emile Zola and "A Tale of Two-Cities," by Charles Dickens. Shouldn't be to much of a problem. I'll pick up the book at the library and read along.

That's basically it. Sick days don't generate alot of posting material.

500

It's official, I am now at 500 Posts. Since the last day I posted, I did quite alot of stuff I want to make sure you all had a chance to read it. I'm writing this on the 25th of April, but will post it when you've all answered the Movie-Quote Test thing.

And so as not to make this a completely innane test, you can all watch this youtube clip of the 1973 movie "The Final Programme", based on the Michael Moorcock novel of the same name.

Guess The Movie!

Hey, I found this contest on DeviantArt. Basically, you have to guess which movie this is from. Warning, I'm into some obscure movies.

1. Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?
2. You know, this used to be a helluva good country. I can't understand what's gone wrong with it.
3. Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
4. Do you find me sadistic? You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic.
5. We thought about it for a long time, "Endeavor to persevere." And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.
6. Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
7. Learn French or die.
8. Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.
9. Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle
10. You are seven years old. You are a man. Bury your first toy and your mother's picture.
11. Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.
12. Now, repeat after me: "Homosexuality is the best all-round cover an agent ever had."
13. Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
14. Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
15. I'm voting for Dukakis.
16. Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way
17. You know, that's good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere
18. That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood.
19. I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.
20. Tut, tut. Such ingratitude after all the times I saved your life.

There, now we see how many you guys get. Remember, you have to identify them yourself.

The Worst Former Celebrety TV Show Ever

Some ideas are just so odvious they should not be made into a series. Case in point: Celebrety Rehab. Yes, we can now watch a program about celebreties, most likely washed-up ones, kick there junk habit. Here's an example of an episode.

On the series premiere of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" eight drug addicted celebrities check themselves into rehab under the care of Dr. Drew Pinsky and begin their difficult battle for sobriety. As each celebrity (Brigitte Nielsen, Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer, Jeff Conaway, Daniel Baldwin, Seth "Shifty" Binzer, Mary Carey, Jaimee Foxworth & Jessica Sierra) is introduced, their painful backstory and struggle with drugs is profiled. Dr. Drew begins to analyze and assess his patients' struggles through a series of one-on-one meetings, but his attention is pulled away by a drunken, doped up Jeff Conaway who lapses into a seizure and ends up being rushed to the hospital.

Okay, first off, I don't know who any of these people are. Alright, except for Brigette Nielsen, but that's only because I saw her on the Surreal Life (which wasn't at all Surreal). Second, who wants to see a bunch of washed up celebreties kick there drug habit. I have an idea what withdrawal syndromes are like and it is not pretty. I know that there are probubly alot of drugged-up celebreties, but that is no reason to make a show about it damn it. They're poor junkies, not guenie pigs for another lame television show.

On the plus side, when the ideas get this stupid, reality TV is bound to be close to death.

Haikus I-IV

Haiku I
This is Haiku One
First in a Haiku Series to
be finished at death.

Haiku II
The three art students
Paint a thong on a computer.
I feel superior.

Haiku III
Girl thinks Ginsberg kid
In Brown's Latin Class. Damn it.
Nobody reads the classics.

Haiku IV
Internet Course says
Write a mock epic. I did
And I hated it.

I've been considering writing Haiku. It's short and simple and many great writers wrote it, so why not me. Kerouac wrote Haiku, Richard Wright wrote Haiku, Charles Bukowski might have written Haiku, I'm not sure. But here are my first four Haikus. Share and Enjoy!

David Lynch on Youtube (Mainly a guy who looks like David Lynch)

Here's a video of David Lynch talking about the Iphone. Warning, there is swearing.

And here's videoes of David Lynch solving people's everyday problems.

Identify the people on the following list without using Wikipedia or anything like that

I feel lonely. It's like I'm the only person around who knows who Jack Keroauc, William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch or anyone else cool is. I could probubly go on about how isolated an lonely I am, but who wants to read that.

End of post.

YEAH! Someone I can connect with!

Well, I have to do my first test soon. I'm not doing it now, because I'm concentrating on getting all my DeviantArt stuff done. Thankfully, I am also very close to finsihing the second fourth. I'm feeling very confident about getting all this finished so I can go on to reading something interesting like "The Hounds of the Baskervilles."

I kind of had Tango lessons yesterday, but it was basically going over the steps I know. Not alot of people showed up, basically it was just me, Max and Max's girlfriend. It was pretty cool, we talked about praying mantis which Max believes are all really butch lesbians(the women at least), psychedelic drugs and books. I also hung out with Max a bit while we walked over to his place of buisness.

I think Max may be one of the few people I can actually connect with. We're both writers and artists, we both have strong counter-culture leanings. Also, I don't have to explain everything I'm into with him. He also said I should try writing screenplays, since from what he's read I'm better at dialouge. I think he has a point, so now I'm re-writing "The Last Dance Revolution" as a movie. Now all I need to do is get Johnny Depp to play Naos.

One last thing, my Employment Specalist called and it looks like I might get a job soon. Just thought I'd tell you.

Course Confusion, Residence Searches and (More Importantly) Wold Newton Speculation

I hate my Internet Course. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I just got back some information on a formal outline I did for an essay I didn't need to write, and the teacher said I was doing it wrong in a way that said I wasn't doing anything wrong and it confuses me and all I can think is "Who is she to tell me how to write an outline? She's not even here! If I thought of her as an actual human being as compared to some invisible entity that judges my work from a distance and who I could actually talk to then we wouldn't have a problem, since I could actually discuss this with her. And that's how I ended up at the public library.
So, in other news my Mom and I checked out the University at Waterloo to see if there was another residence besides Conrad Grebel that I could go to. On Thursday we looked at Renison and yesterday we looked at St. Paul's. Renison was great. They said they would try and get me a single room, which I liked. I would make a terrible roommate. Since my main interests are making family trees for fictional characters and odd, obscure books and films, combined with my lack of social skills and possibly annoying nightly habits. (Listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage at 10:00 PM till Midnight on Sundays), I would not make the best of roommates. I should recognize that a roommate is a possibility, and prepare. Also, I liked the feel of Renison better then St. Pauls. The rooms and halls in Renison felt better. Also, Renison has more experience with autistic people such as myself.
I've been looking at various Wold Newton articles and am beginning to realize that there is alot of discrepencies between them. The involvement of Superheroes is something I'm not sure about. Maybe some comic book characters, such as a very limited translation of Shang Chi I can except because of his involvement with Fu Manchu, but Superman and the Fantastic Four seem to be pushing it. And don't get me started on who Captain Nemo is really. I'm going for he's the Immortal Alchemist Joseph Balasmo, as well as Robur the Conqueror, Arthur Gordon Pym, The Count of Monte Cristo and possibly Hagbard Celine and John Sunlight. The traditional concept was that Captain Nemo was an alias of Professor Moriarty.
From what I can see here, I may just be picking and choosing what to put in my own version of the Wold Newton Universe. So because of this, pretty much all superheroes are going to be left out, or altered. I can see Constantine and Octobriana in there. Also, I'm thinking about using the information in the Star Inn Meteorite to help the back story, as well as looking into some other meteroites to back up any families descended in Africa, Asia and the Americas.
Also, I'm starting to wonder if I should adjust some version of the Wold Newton Myth into my own mythology. I've already worked in the works of Michael Moorcock, H.P. Lovecraft and the Marquis de Sade's work into my mythology, why not take it further. I don't know if I'll actually put the Wold Newton family in there directly, but I've got three major families (The Blackwrights, The Saint-Clairs and the Howllers). I doubt that I'll make it part of the whole thing, but I'll probubly make it seem like they are part of the over all mythos. I don't see Doc Savage or Tarzan appearing alongside Orlando Morningstar or Jack Blackwright, but the basic idea is something to play around with.

Tango Lessons

So as my readers should know if they care about my social life, I am taking Tango lessons after school at 6. My teacher is fellow student Max (not real name), or as I actually call him De Quincy. I call him De Quincy because he smokes tobacco out of an opium pipe. Since he's the kind of guy who read Confessions of an English Opium Eater, he gets the refrence. Actually, anybody who would smoke anything out of an Opium pipe would be aware of the refrence. If your not, Thomas De Quincy is a guy who smoked alot of Opium and wrote a book about it. This was all during the 1800's or something. Give me a second to check Wikipedia.(...). It was written in 1822.

So, in the Tango lessons, I am considered pretty good. I'm very proud of that. My partner is Max's girlfriend, which is a bit of a joke in the class as the Tango is a known as a sexually-charged dance. Today was pretty good, because I'm really starting to get the hang of the Tango. I told Max's girlfriend (let's call her Cathrine), that I wanted to get out of the loveless German marriage Tango we were doing. By loveless German Tango, I mean that she'd actually lean on my hip during the dip. Because of my poor muscle structure she leaned a bit herself. We did that a couple times. One time I really caught Cathrine off guard while dipping her. I was a bit disconcerted by this but she said it was alright and that I was doing good.

And that's all.

Beat Generation Videos I Found, Part 2: Naked Lunch Feature

Here are some videos of William S. Burroughs. Sorry for the poor quality.

Odd Little Phone Conversation

So here I was at the computer when the phone rang.

Me: Hello.
Phone-Guy: Hello, I am with Something-something phones. Is Mr or Mr. Writer available so we sell them a cell-phone.
Me: I don't want a cell phone.
Phone-Guy: But a cell phone can be a very important item.
Me: I don't want to want people calling me.
Phone-Guy: But what if your in an emergency? Say, if your in a car...
Me: I don't drive cars. I don't plan on ever learning to drive a car. (This is true)
Phone-Guy: Um, okay, let's say if your outside...
(At this point I didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't want to hang up for some reason. So, I did the only thing I could think off. I lied)
Me: Um, that wouldn't happen either. I never leave the house. I'm a shut-in.
Phone-guy: A shut-in?
Me: Yeah.
Phone-guy: But, what if you want to contact your parents...
Me: I'm sorry this phone line might be taped. (I hang up)

So that's what happened. I was probubly mistaken in that I should lie to him about being a shut-in. I think the appropriate thing to have done is to say "Nobody would like a cell phone." I may have said that, but he kept up going on. I also have a question for Steph, who used to be a telemarketer, if this is something telemarketers enjoy. Just thought that I'd post this.

Complete Cooper's Dream

I know I already posted this sort of, but this is the full scene. The first one left out the cool bit with Mike and Bob. Enjoy.

The Top Five Desert Island Book List (First Draft)

I've been thinking about making a list of books that I'd like to have with me if I were on a Desert Island. This is the list I have at the time.

1. Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, by Tom Robbins. I'd like to say that any Tom Robbins book will do, but I've only read this one from start to finished. But that would probubly be true, because Tom Robbins prose is a delight to read. Also, I can relate to Sissy Hankshaw as she has a social stigma that seperates her from the normal human race, in this case freaky huge thumbs. Naturally, she becomes a hitchhiker. The story features Lesbian cowgirls, a homosexual cosmetics millionare, whooping crane and an escapee from a Japanese internment camp.
2. The Stand (uncut and extended), by Stephen King. This is one of my favorite Stephen King novels and it's easier then just bringing the entire Dark Tower series. Tells the story of the battle between good and evil after a plauge desimates America. Inspired Lost and the backbone of my Hippie Stories. Randall Flagg is the best villian ever.
3. The Master and Margarita, by Mikhail Bulgakov, written in secret during the worst days of the Soviet Union, this book features Woland (Satan) and his retinue of demons, witches and cats recking havoc upon the Soviet Literary Elite, as well as a Faustian love story and a look back at the last days of Jesus Christ. I'm reading it at the moment.
4. Smoke and Mirrors or Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman, A book of short stories will be nessisary and Neil Gaiman writes good short stories. Both of these are good choices. If they ever make a book of complete short stories of Neil Gaiman I'll take that, but since we don't have that I'll probubly take Smoke and Mirrors, since it has "Shoggoth's Old Peculiar"
5. The Complete Works of William Blake, by William Blake. I figure it would be nice to have some poetry and I always meant to read William Blake's epic poems. It could also work as something inspirational.

The Continuing Saga of the Great University Residence Hunt

So my parents and I went to check out Conrad Grebel to see how Aspie-friendly it would be. Conrad Grebel is a residence on the Waterloo Campus that my parents are thinking about sending me. I had no problem. It was nice, cozy and had good cookies. From what we heard Conrad Grebel would have a good community. Unfortunatly, the interview didn't go over well. The lady we talked to had very little experience with Aspergers Syndrome. They only had one person, a girl who found it very difficult. During the conversation we could see why that was.

The woman we talked to wasn't conserned about making getting me into Conrad Grebel, as much as how I would effect the rest of the community. Also, there idea of a community seems to be complete devotion to the community. I also meet none of the qualifications that are needed. I don't have much in the way of community involvement such as being the president or anything. To be honest, the only thing that I meet is that I'm Mennonite. Apparently, if your Mennonite you have a much higher chance. To be honest, the problem with Conrad Grebel is there to autistic. They seem to want everything to be this perfectly run community and nothing to be stressful. My pressence there would distrub them. Ironically, I was sitting there thinking how we could work this out and be flexable. In the end however, I think that this may not be the best fit for me, though Conrad Grebel does seem to need a some stirring up if it's that homogenous.

My Mom was very disapointed with the entire thing, but know we're going to look into other residences at Waterloo. At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. Waterloo University, which Conrad Grebel is part off, has hundreds of courses and seems to meet me academically. We just don't know if it's a good environment for me yet. Wilfred Laurier, which we're also looking into, has a much better support network. The Wilfred Laurier lady we talked there was very calm and had figget toys for me to play with and made me feel very good. The Conrad Grebel made me feel a bit uneasy.

My parents plan on checking into other residences in Waterloo, well my mom is, but my dad will want to know too. We're looking for a room I can have to myself, since I would make a terrible roommate. That was another thing factor in me not being excepted into Conrad Grebel, every room except for the Don's is a double residence. To be a Don I'd have to have more years and help people with there own social problems (great job choice right?). Anyways, we went home and I went to Tango lessons, which I am very good at. That's all I've got to say.

To Play The Movies or Not to Play The Movies

So a friend of mine showed a zombie movie she made using a computer game called "The Movies." Basically you make movies using tacky models and stuff. She said she'd give me a burnt copy or something, which is okay because it seemed cool at the moment, but I'm having second thoughts at the moment. I don't know if I could properly make the movies I would like to make. I'd have to have alot more control over costume and stuff like that, which I don't think the game allows. Also, I plan on making a few of Helen's films, although "Blood Poet" is the only one that I got at the moment, and they don't have blood in the game. Maybe I could figure out a way to up the anty on the game, but I don't know if that's possible. So I may just pass on the entire thing. Just I thought I'd say something about.

Odd Hip Hop Stuff

Grandpa, I know you read my blog and I just want to warn you that there is some swearing in this.

ADVENTURE TIME!!!

This is among the craziest things I have ever seen and it should have been picked up.

Pope is overated

Well, it's halfway through March Break and I'm holding of to do actual homework till latter because I am lazy. I do plan on getting Module 5 and 6 0r 7 soon. I'm going to have to read "The Rape of the Lock" by Alexander Pope a few times, but other then that I feel confident. I could complain about Pope being a traditionalist who wrote annoying sixteen page long poems about gnomes and slyphs and unlocking something, but I should be keeping my mind on Module 5 which is easier. The poems are only sonnets and they don't use epic language to express everyday activities, which is confusing and should not be sixteen frelling pages.

In the meantime, I've been checking out Universities. It looks like I'll be living at Conrad Grabel, which is a small campus owned by the Mennonite Church that has the best cookies I have ever hade in my life. I might just go to Waterloo, which I checked out yesterday, since I'll only be taking Arts courses like Religion, English and Fine Arts, which is all in the same place. Conrad Grabel is still close to Wilfred Laurier, so I could walk there. I also went to the Old Goat Book Store, where I bought the following.

• The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, by Gertrude Stein. Yes, I know that's an oxymoron, you'd have to take it up with Gertrude Stein or Alice B. Toklas. Unfortunatly, there both dead. To confuse you more it's more about Gertrude Stein.
• The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler. It has Philip Marlowe in it. I have never read anything with Philip Marlowe, but since you can spot a parody of him a mile away even if you've never heard of him, then I probubly should. Also, Chandler was an influence on The Big Lebowski.
• The Silver Warriors, by Michael Moorcock. I own more Moorcock then any other writer. If you can't pick up cheep Moorcock at any Used Bookstore, then you don't have a decent Used Bookstore in my opinion. The only problem is that I have so many Moorcock books that when I go to a Used Bookstore I am hardpressed to find a book that I don't already own.
• The Last Two Books about Hawkmoon in the Count Brass trilogy, I can't remember the name but it's by Michael Moorcock.

I'm going back to check out Wilfred Laurier and then to KW Bookstore and Casablanca Books. I'll be writing up a list of books to look for sometime tonight when I'm done this stupid Metaphysical Poetry Module. That's all I can think about writing today. Good night and good luck.

I need a Dungeons and Dragons fix

So Gary Gygax is dead. The man who invented Dungeons and Dragons, and therefore the Role-Playing Game, has passed away. His character sheet has been erased and has gone up to Role-Player's Valhalla where he will feast with the mighty Role-Players of the past.

I havn't played a game of Dungeons and Dragons in ages and I think it's time to get that 20-sided Dice out of retirement. My only problem is that I don't have anyone I can play with. My sisters are either too young or not interested. Maybe I should just work on getting Mythania as a campaign setting done.

Mythania is becoming more frustrating for me. I'm starting to want to abandon the entire concept. I have to change the name because someone has already gotten the name Mythania. I'm also thinking about having it as a series of planets. Not sure how that should work exactly, but there should be like nine major planets and various moon-type things orbiting gas giants. The main planets would have the major civilizations, while the moons are largelly unexplored and is considered to have all kinds of lost civilizations and bandits and good stuff like that. That and there's like over eighty something sentient species in Mythania, most of which I probubly won't get into.

I'm a bit worried about the extensive sentient species. The standard fantasy universe generally has like five, but Mythania or whatever I'm going to call it from now on is going to have several, and I don't know how people will react to that. I suppose only like ten or twenty will be of any real importance, but people will attach to these little species that don't matter much and write fanfic or something like that.