Wish you were here

Sorry, I haven’t blogged recently. It’s been a crazy past few days.
First, and what will be the only subject on this blog. My great-uncle died a few days ago. We are going to the funeral today, so I get today of. I guess that is okay if this wasn’t going to be such a sad day.
This is bringing up all kinds of emotions for me. Manly bad ones that I haven’t felt before. It’s like all of a sudden a part of my soul just disappeared and I don’t know how. It is very confusing and sad. I barely even knew the guy, but I feel sad because my mom knew him and my grandparents knew him, and it makes them sad. And I don’t like it when people close to me feel sad. It makes me feel very sad.

The following is a song by Pink Floyd. I don’t know if my great-uncle liked Pink Floyd, but I snag it to myself when I was alone in my room. I started crying when I did it. It’s called Wish you were here, and is on the album of the same name. I recommend you listen to it. It is a good album.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have you found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

Looking at it, it doesn’t have much to do with the situation, except that we wish he was here.

Monday off, How I Hate the Spartans and Returned Access to the Library

On Monday, my stomach wasn’t feeling that good. I stayed home because of it, even after Lunch when it was feeling better. It was a pretty good time. I watched Fistful of Dollars, starring Clint Eastwood. It was a good movie. I also found a Library card that I had previously lost. I didn’t go because my mom said that it wasn’t fair since I didn’t go to school.

The next day I went to the Library. I returned most of the books I had out and got two new ones. One is the Ringworld Engineers, by Larry Niven and the other is a collection of short stories by Robert E. Howard. I Like the Ringworld Engineers, but I haven’t got into the Robert E. Howard book. In case your wondering, Robert E. Howard is the guy who came up with Conan the Barbarian. Since it is in more or less the style of R.A. Salvatore’s Drizzt Saga, I figured I would give it a try, but I understand that the character of Conan is more dark then Drizzt.

I’m thinking about trying to come up with my own sword and sorcery stories. I’m working on a Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting that could work as that. I may have talked about this in an earlier post. I may also try and get something about Nai’Atha to whoever is in charge of Forgotten Realms books at Wizards of the Coast. Nai’Atha is a character I play in Dungeons and Dragons, but I use him exclusively in Forgotten Realms. Alright, I have only played in the Forgotten Realms, but I plan on keeping it like that. I think I could make it a five-book series. The Nai’Atha Epic, I could call it. I don’t know if it would happen, because I plan and hope Nai’Atha as being a sort of rouge element in the political landscape of Forgotten Realms.

Anyway, today I learned about the Spartans in history class. The Spartans were a Greek city-state that were famous for there militaristic life-style. I don’t like the Spartans because they had complete control over the people for the survival of their nation with no regard for the individual’s development as a person. They are a good example with my beliefs of nationalism. If I haven’t already told you about my feelings of nationalism, I will explain them now.
I believe that Nationalism is bad because it has leaders, and while some leaders are okay people I give Elizabeth the First and Woodrow Wilson as examples, they can also be really screwed up people who desire military conquest at the expense (and lives) of there citizens. This is pointless because nations are not real things as much as abstract concepts that serve no real purpose. To me, the ideal society is where all people get along because religious, racial and political differences are not an issue, because they do not exist. I will go into further detail in my next post.

School, Lost Wallets, People Overload and A Hard To Find Movie

It was my Mom who made the mysterious blog. She wanted her own and I’m going to get her a new one so she doesn’t have to use mine.
On a sadder note I have lost my Library Card. I figure that I’ll have to bring all the books back, which is a shame because I got an essay that could have helped me with my Samurai essay.

In Comm Tech, we are making a commercial and I hate it. I believe that it can all be brought back to my partners in this project, who I sincerely believe are incompetent. First we couldn’t come up with an idea that wasn’t sexist (the product is high heal shoes). The teacher said that we couldn’t and I said I would think up one. Well, I wasn’t having that good of a day, so I cracked up and went home. The next day they came up with an idea, but I believe it lacks imagination. I have an idea that I believe will get a great mark, but I also know that those homophobes won’t take it because it would involve one of us wearing high heal shoes. (The idea being there so comftorble even men are wearing them)
I would like to say that I don’t know if these people are homophobes, but I’m just real angry.

It’s been a hell of a time this weekend. I’m surrounded by people, family but never the less people. Yesterday there was a family reunion on my mother’s side of the family. The food was great, but I spent most of the time around people. I was okay with it near the end, and there isn’t going to be as many people. It’s probably not going to be that bad.

I am also looking for the movie Mirrormask. The screenplay for Mirrormask was written by Neil Gaiman, who is one of my favourite writers. Steph, I wouldn’t be surprised if you already know about him, but if you don’t I recommend it. I suggest starting out with Neverwhere and Stardust to start, because it’s not as messed up as some of his other works. If you want to go straight in I suggest American Gods and the Sandman series. Sandman is a series of graphic novels. Anyway, no movie store in town is renting out copies. I’m a little ticked of by this.

Besides discovering Internet science fiction radio and then discovering I need membership or something to listean to it know, I have nothing else to say.

Samarai and Strange Happenings

Oddest thing happened while I was getting ready to make a post on Aspie Diaries. I was on the dashboard thing, right, and I saw these blogs that I didn’t make there called After All These Years. I deleted it and changed my password. I’m a little scared that this was able to come up without my knowledge.

Well, I’m working on an essay in history. I was given the option to choose any subject I wanted so I choose Samauri because I wanted to learn more about Samauri. I was the only person in history class since everyone else was at an archeological dig. I didn’t feel like going so I stayed at school and read about Bushido. Hm, that’s a good sentence. I should remember it.
I also went to the Public Library on the Weekend. I got some books that I hope will help me learn to write good science fiction.
Well, I haven’t got much more information then that.

Heimingway, Free Internet Radio and other things

My writing is bothering me. It’s not that I hate doing it, I just that writing seems to be the only real job that I want and I am capable of doing. I can see myself working as an artist, I am a bit of a sketch artist and I do draw a lot of my creations and such, but in the end I wouldn’t be able to not write. Even writing this makes me want to write more. I mean fiction.
The problem I have is that I don’t think I’m that good. I mean I’m pretty good at coming up with new and fantastic worlds and that is pretty important when you’re a science fiction and fantasy writer, but I don’t think I have the right knowledge to actually write it. My dad says that I should read some non-science fiction works. So I got a copy of The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway and a collection of his short stories. I also got Ray Bradbury’s Zen and the Art of Writing and a list of classic novels to read. I’m hoping that reading all this will give me a better understanding of writing.
Also, I have learned that I really don’t like the term Science Fiction, something about it just doesn’t appeal to me, so know on I will call it Scientific Romance as H.G. Welles did before me.

Well, now to talk about what happened at school today.
In Latin, I hade some bread with olive oil on it. I also learned that there is something of a cult following of Grumio in the world of Latin academia. Grumio is a slave to Caecilius in the first unit of Latin and he is popular among my Latin class. One of my classmates believes that Grumio has managed to survive to the present day. Unlikely since Grumio never existed.
In Communications Technology, we watched an episode of the Apprentice, a program that I have never watched until today. The people on the Apprentice were assigned to create an add campaign for a Laborgini, which is a fancy form of car. Our teacher did this because we are going to do an add campaign for high heal shoes. I’m okay with this, because while I am against the corporation this doesn’t affect my beliefs much. I’m a little unsure about our project manager’s competence however.

For Lunch, I had a peanut butter and honey sandwich and to much trifle.
Math went by without me falling asleep for too long. I have some homework to do. I think I’ll get around to it after dinner.
In History we watched more of Troy. I saw Troy in the theatres and didn’t like it that much. It wasn’t as faithful to the original to the best of my knowledge. I’m not an expert on it or even know that much about the story, but I have a ruff outline of the story.
When I got home I went searching for a new source of free Internet radio, since I have finally lost my useless yahoo account. I have found a new source of toons on the Internet and will see how this works for me.

Have I made a post recently? It doesn’t feel like it. Anyway, this is what I’ve been up to.
First, I’m thinking about deleting the RPG blog and putting any RPG related stuff on Aspie Diaries. I try making new blogs to much. I’m going to work completely on this blog.
Second, I went to the Library and got some books. One of them is a collection of poems by John Keats. I only got it because John Keats is a character in Dan Simmons’ Hyperion and I figured it might be interesting. I wouldn’t even have bothered getting it if I hadn’t read Hyperion. I wonder if that means anything.
Third, I have the start of a new Dungeons and Dragons group. To Loncrow and Korzio/Ruric if you guys are reading this, I will be stepping out of the Guan Tylgrym campaign. It will be difficult continuing it considering that we are all in different cities, but if we ever get a chance I would like to start another campaign. I’ll update you on the new group as soon as we start a campaign.
Fourthly, I’m going on a Youth progressive dinner at. The Church I’m in has this whole youth thing were they concentrate on teaching kids about Christianity and stuff in a way that’s not boring and they throw these big things. I’m looking forward to asking the new pastor things at "Ask Frank anything,". His name is not Frank, but I don’t want to give away his identity. But that’s not what I’m doing today. Today I will be going the homes of several people from Church and have a sort dinner. I’ll have an appetiser at one house, the full course at another house, and desert at my house. The dessert will be followed by a movie.
That’s what I’m up to. Bye.

My theory about making freinds

As an Aspie, I have difficulties around people. To me social interaction is a completely alien concept. I spend my life on the outside of human civilization looking in. Temple Grandin (I hope I’m spelling this right) defines this as one of the key factors to the Aspie mind, we are observers of the human condition. However, we can have theories. That is what this post is about, my theories on a social interaction. This is how I believe making friends works. Please give feed back.
The way I see it there is two ways of making friends. First, you find someone and find a common ground. This happened with my friend Loncrow and more recently with some kids in my Latin class who play Dungeons and Dragons. The second way is that you meet someone who is friends with a friend you already have. That is what happened with me and Ruric.

That’s it, and happy Thanksgiving for anyone in Canada.

War? What War?

I don’t watch the news, but I occasionally hear about what’s going on around the world by chance, and one thing that has been bothering me is that I am not hearing anything about the war in Iraq. I asked my mom about this, because she is addicted to the news, and she said that she hasn’t heard anything either.
This is a bit of a problem. I’m against the war in Iraq, I’m against war in general, but the least that the American people could do is to talk about the pointless war that’s going on to supply the Galactic Empire with the vital Spice that must flow (That was an allusion to Frank Herbert’s Dune series, Spice is the miracle substance that the Empire runs on in the series. I mean oil). Didn’t they show Vietnam on CNN or something? Vietnam was about as pointless as Iraq, didn’t they pay more attention then this. I understand with all the hurricanes and everything the American people are a little distracted, but think of the Veterans, man. I’ll bet there a little pissed about the complete lack of coverage for the war. I am as sorry as I can be for the people who’s lives have been screwed up by the Hurricanes, but I still think that if your going to have a pointless war you should at least give the poor boys over there some more TV time so we can all see how pointless this is.

The Three-Day Weekend

Okay, this is what happened to me during my weekend.
To start with, it was (or is, I don’t know for sure) a three-day weekend, so I got Friday of. Because it was a three-day weekend, I invited by friend Loncrow over. I have talked about Loncrow in earlier posts. We played on his Playstation 2 and watched Chronicles of Riddick and Van Helsing. I have seen Van Helsing before, and I would say that it is a good movie. I loved Chronicles of Riddick, because it seemed like a good science fiction universe. He also showed me a new RPG called Achaea. It’s interesting but I’m having some difficulty getting the hang of it.

After Loncrow left I spent the rest of the day being more or less bored. I got a new book at the mall and pointed out some books to my mom that I liked. I also had some Pizza at some relatives house.
Today, I did something I haven’t done in awhile. I went to church. To tell you the truth it wasn’t that thrilling. For the most part I tried to make myself comftorble in the chairs. I don’t know if I will come back as often.

The Record Show and Debunking Qua..er, I Mean People Who Have Diffrent Opinions About The Construction of the Pyramids then myself. (still think their

...heave ho theory is crazy)

Whoa, I ran out of room for a title. Anyway, there is a lot to file in now.
First, I went to a record show with my dad. It was very good and I got five new CD’s, most of them at five dollars. The following is a list of what I got.

• 2112, by Rush
• Are You Experienced?, by the Jimi Hendrix Experience
• Breakfast in America, by Supertramp
• Janis Joplin's Greatest Hits
• The Joshua Tree, by U2

I also got the chance to appear briefly on radio. While I was looking thru one of the places to buy CD’s a guy walked up to me with a microphone and started asking me questions. I am a little proud to be on radio, even if no one knows who I was.

I have gotten two major projects so far that I like. First, in Communications Technology I get to make a Flash Cartoon. For those of you who don’t know what a Flash cartoon is, I now who you are, it is a cartoon made using a computer and put on the Internet. I’ll have two of my favourite Flash Cartoons at the bottom of this blog.

The other one is in history. I basically have to argue that the pyramids were built by or with the assistance of a technologically advanced source. I am a believer in the fact the Ancients were visited by aliens. I’m glad that I got this assignment, because I don’t want to go up against it because I think it makes much more sense.

Well, that’s what happening with me. Here are some Flash Cartoons for your enjoyment.

8 bit D&D

All Your Pie

What I've been reading

Alright, first of I would like to tell everybody about the books I’ve been reading. You can read these books to if you want, but you’ll have to get your own copies.
First, I have discovered a new writer. His name is Avram Davidson, and apparently a lot of famous writers in the science fiction genre like him. I’ve never heard of him, but the two short stories in the collection I found are great. I especially like "The Golem," in which a Jewish couple meet an android. What I liked about this story is that the couple didn’t take this android very seriously, while the android was going on about his creation and how he plans on destroying humanity, the couple is going on about their daily life. Eventually the husband rewires the android and sets him to work mowing the lawn. I really liked this story for it’s quirkiness. I recommend Avram Davidson, but I understand finding any of his work will be hard.

Second, I have finished the sequel to Dan Simmons’ masterpiece of science fiction, Hyperion. This book, Fall of Hyperion, tells the continuation of the seven pilgrim’s journey and the fall of the Hegemony of Man and TechnoCore. This book has everything a good science-fiction novel needs. It has vast interstellar war, political intrigue, detailed worlds, interesting characters, weird religions, the second coming of Christ, everything. I recommend this whole series, I’m on the next book already. I’m only sorry that most of the original pilgrims are dead, what with it being over two hundred years in the future, but from what I hear that won’t keep Martin Silenus down.
On a related note, I understand that they (the Hollywood people) are going to try making Hyperion into a movie. I’m a little nervous about this, because I don’t see Hyperion as a movie. I’m curious about it though, wondering about who they would cast as who. If I was in charge of it I would make it as a miniseries, but I’d get Jack Black to play Martin Silenus, the poet, not because I imagine Martin Silenus as looking like Jack Black, but because I can easily see Jack Black playing Martin Silenus. You would have to read the book. I think I’ll make this into a post. Who I would cast as the characters in Hyperion.

Thirdly, I am reading The Crystal Shard, by R.A. Salvatore. I believe I have said that I am a fan of Drizzt Do’Urden and this book is a Drizzt novel. I wouldn’t say that he’s the star in this one, but he is a major character. I like the book so far, the characters are a little lacking so far, but keep in mind this is R.A. Salvatore’s first novel.
Also, I went to the Library today and picked up some novels that I plan to be reading soon.

• Only You Can Save Mankind, by Terry Pratchett
• Endymion, by Dan Simmons
• Castle of Days, by Gene Wolfe

Grade 11 has lost all novelty value

Okay, I’m probably going to be criticized for this because I went on about how bored I was, but I’m really hating school right now.
So, I had to do math, and I absolutely hate math. I believe that I have said this. Math is my least favourite subject. I’m more of an arts person. I prefer a good book, drawing pictures of fanciful characters, learning about some ancient civilization and come up with vast interplanetary empires and strange aliens. Math is just sitting around in a hot room, doing pointless calculations that I will only forget latter.

Anyway, I have a whole wack of math homework to do and I hate it. The only good thing is that I will be done math in over three months and if I can wait long enough I can get out of there and never have to see another arithmetic series in my life.

In my sister's defense...

I'd like to respond to my last post by saying that my sister Dilila is not always mean to me. She can be very civil with me but she always finds me annoying in someway. She does have this whole vibe about her that gives out a little hostility, but she can be pretty alright at some times. I just don't like it when she grabs my hair.

I'm so Lonely and Sad

I’m not feeling my best today, My little sister Sprite had a bunch of her friends over today and yesterday and my sister Dililla had here friends come over. This makes me sad because I don’t have any freinds who can come over.
Whats more, Dililla is very mean to me. She’s always grabbing onto my hair and yelling at me, she makes me feel very emotionlly damaged and sad. She hurts my feelings a lot.
Thats how I feel.

A new blog (for RPG's)

Hey. I’m probably the only person here who has actually played a Role Playing game, but I’m making a new blog about RPG’s. Check it out.

www.writerrpj.blogspot.com

Brian Mulroney's New Book

Haven’t done a blog in awhile. I figured I’d talk about the Brian Mulroney book that came out.
For all you Yanks out there, Brian Mulroney was the Prime during the eighties and late nineties. He is not considered the greatest Prime Minister in Canadian history. He was a real suck up to Ronald Reagan and was on TV once. I can’t remember why he was so unpopular and all. But he came out with a book.

This book is basically Brian Mulroney yaking on about he was the best Prime Minister Canada ever hade and that Canadians should damn-well stop complaining. He also disses all kinds of people, including Trudeau, who is considered one of Canada’s greatest leaders. He also goes on to claim that tearing down the Berlin Wall was his idea.
This incessant rambling, which I guess I do but we aren’t talking about that, reminds me of this guy called Marat, and a book written by some certain German dictator.

Marat was this guy who ran a Newspaper during the French Revolution. As you probably know, the French revolution is famous for being incredibly bloody. Marat was behind all this in some way always saying that the people of France should kill more things and that the Guillotine was the greatest thing that happened to France and saying who should be killed. He was basically the McCarthy of the French Revolution. What make’s things even worse was that he was lifted to a sort of sainthood by the Revolutionaries. I consider this pretty sick, because he was a really perverted dude.

The other thing this reminds me of (in pointless rambling, not content) was Hitler’s Mein Kampf. I have never read this book, or plan on even coming into Physical Contact with a copy. In it Hitler explains that there is a Jewish conspiracy that randomly decided to get money out of Germany. This is crazy that I can see no way for the Jewish people, people with no homeland at that time, to decide to get money out of Germany. Also, why just Germany. That is why I believe that Mein Kampf is a stupid book.

Thinking about the amount of junk that people can come up with by looking at these three guys in just plain stupid nattering from Brian Mulroney, and the warmongering of Marat, and Hitler’s racist ideals. This whole blog thing is kind of scarey. Think about it, anyone can get a blog. That includes people like Marat and Hitler. There they can complain about things all they want. Thankfully, we live in an age were any idiot with an Internet connection can have a blog, so the risk level of this is probubly less then in the pre-Internet age. Still, it is a risk that we live in.
Wow. I just wrote an essay. Sweet.

After a long period of contemplating the infinite and handling a turbulent sea of emotions it helps to read some P.G. Wodehouse

I was really troubled emotionally. What with me being a teenager who asks really big questions and a berserker who gets control on my body for three seconds whenever I get frustrated, which can be once every three minutes. So after talking about this stuff with my dad, I decided to read a short story by P.G. Wodehouse.

P.G.Wodehouse is a famous British humourist who is famous for writing these funny little stories about the British upperclass. I haven’t read much of his work except for some short stories about this guy called Bertie Wooster who is basically this lazy good-for-nothing who is a sure sign of Britain’s decline as a world power. The only reason that he’s still alive is that he had the luck to be born in the upper-class. Wooster also has a valet named Jeeves who’s job is to take care of Wooster, sort of like an Educational Assistant. Jeeves is everything Wooster is not and balances out Wooster’s parasitic relationship on the British Empire. Jeeve’s main job is getting Bertie and his freinds out of all these situations that they find themselves in.
(I actually don’t care much for Bertie’s life-style, just to tell you)

I first discovered this Wodehouse guy while reading a novella in the Otherland series. One of the worlds in the Otherland Network is based on his work. Jeeves hade a small cameo in the novella, but he wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of the plot. I was curious about this simulation world so I looked up P.G. Wodehouse and found he had some works in my local library. I found the stories mildly entertaining and I would like to see where I could find a copy of a few of these stories.

Anyway, I recommend his work. End Article.

For Steph: More Questions and Answers

I understand that things have been going a little hard for Steph, what with college and such so I did some more Q&A's. This may be a continuing thing. If readers have any funny questions to ask me please send them to naousshiva@gmail.com. They must have the following criteria.

1. Must not offend someone’s race, religion, nationality, gender or sexual orientation
2. Must be silly

And now, QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.

Q: Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?
A: Is this a D&D question? If so, I usually keep a few levels of bard because bard’s ROCK!!!!

Q: You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?
A: Uh, I can’t whistle

Q: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?
A: Who cares?

Q: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?
A: Wait, isn’t a turtle’s shell part of it’s body? I think it is. So therefore a turtle is naked and this question is invalid. And what in the nine levels of hell does a dog enter into this.

Q: You've just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?
A: Who in there right mind would give me a manufacturing plant. I’m a writer for God’s sake. I don’t know a bloody thing about plastics and don’t want one.

Q: You laughed so hard you can't catch your breath. Stick out your tongue and show us what's funny:
A: BUNNIES!!!!!! Wait, there on my tongue, oh gross. (spit)

Q: If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?
A: Hm. I don’t want to be a hot air balloon. It doesn’t sound very pleasant.

Q: What kind of tape is best for creating a sculpture?
A: Not the transparent kind. Duct tape and that yellow kind sounds good.

Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
A: (pause) Um (another, longer pause) Could you repeat the question?

Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
A: (pause) because it’s stupid.

Q: You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
A: Why would it go to my head? Why would I write a musical? I don’t think that I could write a musical. It doesn’t strike me as something I could do. That would probably keep the fame out of my head.

Q: Aren't papier mache cuts the worst?
A: Oh yes, almost as bad as the Comfy Chair. (Monty Python reference)

Q:Compose the lyrics to a new national anthem that features an animal sound at least once:
A: Steph, remind me to do this as a separate post - Writer.

Questions and Answers

You know those stupid questions that the blog asks you, well I’m doing a post about that in which I get all these stupid questions and answer them right here.

Q: Why does the taste of pennies remind you of losing a tooth?
A: I've never eaten pennies

Q: You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?
A: When he/she/it has stopped talking, duh

Q: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
A: Depends on the species. Your average sparrow would listen to a mix station. Pigeons would listen to a more Urban theme. Robins would listen to Classic Rock. Parrots would listen to Talk Radio. Penguins would listen to smooth jazz and an Ostrich wouldn’t listen to radio. It would watch television.

Q: If there's no I in team, why is there meat?
A: To eat.

Q: The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?
A: Use my own body as a power source to overthrow the human race.

Q: When you open your eyes underwater, do you ever worry that you'll drown?
A: I never open my eyes under water.

Q: Please describe how you could take the peel off an apple all in one go:
A: Ask the nearest dremer (K-PAXian) to do it for me

Q: What's the earliest you've gotten up to watch cartoons and what did you see?
A: Four in the morning. Women in bikinis. Gilligan’s Island. Chimpanzees reenacting major scenes from major movies.

Q: Why does the colour blue mean raspberry-flavored?
A: The colour blue doesn’t mean raspberry-flavored. The colour blue means truth, dignity and reliability.

Q:Well, maybe they don't need them, but don't you think that some fish might like a bicycle?
A: No (pause) No they wouldn’t

Q:If you were a pirate, how would you avoid laughing when saying "poop deck"?
A: Not be six

Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
A: Because it would fall out of the sky, that’s why

Q: Lionesses have no manes. How do they know when they've grown up?
A: How do you know when your grown up?

Q: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
A: That Lloth, the evil Drow goddess was dead. Stupid fictional Spider Queen.

Q: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?
A: SHADOW PUPPETS. I can do a bunny. Hehehe, bunny. Oh, heres Mr. Bunny, oh look here’s Mr Ducky. Uhoh, Mr Ducky is really Mr Wolf and Mr Wolf is hungry, oh. Oh God. MR. BUNNY!!! WHY COULDN’T HAVE BEEN ME?!!! OH DEAR GOD!!! WHY?!!!!!!
(long pause)
hehe, bunnies.

Q: You're going to the moon! What did you forget to pack?
A: Bugspray. FOR THE GIANT KILLER ANTS THAT LIVE THERE!!!!

Q: You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
A: Don’t have to. I have access to the underground caverns and the inhabitants give me full access to the tunnels because I helped them defeat the Third Reich forces down there.

First Day of Grade 11

Schools back in session
Time for our lesson
-Principal Skinner, The Simpsons
Yes Skinner, School is back in session. And I for one couldn’t be happier. I have a routine and for once in my life I actually care about a good percent of my classes.
So today I went to school at eight, and I had an hour and a half of time to kill. To kill time I read Sojourn, the third book in the Dark Elf Trilogy and went to the Library to pick up a book. Usually your not allowed to sign out a book, but I happen to be good friends with the librarians so they let me get it out.
This was followed by me going to an assembly. I didn’t pay that much attention to it to tell you the truth. After that I went to Latin, then Communications, then lunch, then Math, then Ancient History. That was basically my day up until now.