Sunday, May 25, 2008

Introducing the World's Most Incompatent Terrorists

For awhile I've had these two characters I've been calling Achmed and Sharpy. bouncing around in my head. I know there cousins and where born in Palestine. I know they work or worked with Hamas at one point. I also know they are just about the last people you'd expect to be terrorists. They're well educated, probably going to some European university to get Arts degrees, dream of driving down Route 66 and tend to avoid situations that will get them killed. They are pretty much, middle-eastern hipsters who have been shanghaied into religious fundamentalism, with slapstick results, or tragicomic.
I'm not really sure what to do with these guys, or even if I should keep calling them Achmed and Sharpy. I was going to change Sharpy's name to the Arabic word for sharp, but when I tried to find it the writing was in, surprise, Arabic. Of course, there from Palestine and I don't even know what they speak in Palestine. I just checked Wikipedia, Palestinians speak Arabic.
I've just changed there names to Hakim and Shadi. I may even most something about them on my blog for you guys.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Big Ol' Update, and Bob Dylan's hair

Well it's finally happened. I am going to get my haircut. Today at 1845 hours, I will get my magnificent head of long hair cut off. My mom bribed me with $100 dollars worth of Itunes, since I've spent 25 of that already I'm obliged to get it cut. The style in question is going to be a sort of early Bob Dylan thing. If that goes well I might try out the electric-era Cate Blanchett style of Bob Dylan hair cut.
On the subject of Bob Dylan, I saw the bio-flick they did of him awhile back with the six different people. It was a pretty cool trip. It was also creepy how Cate Blanchett looked the most like Bob Dylan of any of the assembled Bob Dylans. The overall effect of using six different actors to play Bob Dylan gave the film a very surreal effect, and I always love a bit of surrealism.
I've been working at the local museum for community service hours, which I need to get done by the end of the month. Basically I have to get everything into boxes for the big move. I also have yet to get an actual job, but I've been looking around. My employment specialist is helping me look and hopefully I'll have one for the summer.
Tomorrow I'm going to the University of Waterloo to look around again. It looks like I'm going here and that I'm going to Conrad Grebel, despite first impressions, it is seeming to be the place to go. It's small, comfortable and they can get me my own room if I go with them. That and they have good food. I also hope to sell some books I don't need anymore, the proceeds of which will probubly go to more books.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Ten Commandments of the Golden Age of Detective Fiction and How I Will Break Them

I plan on writing detective fiction. To do this I have been reading mystery novels and stories, such as Sherlock Holmes and The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler. Along the way I have discovered the works of Rex Stout, who wrote about a detective team consisting of Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin. Nero Wolfe sits at home and receives the information while Archie goes out and gets it. I am positive that Wolfe is an Aspie. I'll write about it later.
In my travels I have learned about something called the Golden Age of Detective Fiction, which took place around the 1920's and 30's. The basic story behind most of these is that a group of people are gathered in a secluded place, generally an old British mansion, and someone dies. The detective must figure out who did it. These stories are generally very proper and very British. There are even a set of Ten Commandments written by a guy called Ronald A. Knox.
I plan on breaking every or most of the rules that he has.
  1. The Criminal must be mentioned in the early part of the story, but must not be anyone whose thoughts the reader has been allowed to follow. Not a rule that should be to hard to break. The Criminal can be mentioned later or could be the main character. I heard that Agatha Christie did the later once, so this might be one of the rules that I don't break.
  2. All supernatural or preternatural agencies are ruled out as a matter of course. So far, my main detective is Jack Blackwright, an Irish sorcerer with connections to various secret societies. This rule has been broken before I even knew it was a rule.
  3. Not more then one secret room or passage is allowable. Screw that, I'll have as many secret passageways as I want.
  4. No hitherto undiscovered poisons may be used, nor any appliance which will need a long scientific explanation at the end. Explain it in the middle or don't explain it at all.
  5. No Chinaman must figure in the story. This rule is racist and stupid. Yet oddly funny.
  6. No accident must ever help the detective, nor must he ever have an unaccountable intuition which proves to be right. I'm taking Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks as an inspiration for Jack, so dreams are a valid source of evidence in my world. Throwing rocks at a bottle may also be acceptable.
  7. The detective himself must not commit the crime. Hm, breaking that rule does seem to ruin the story. I think Agatha Christie broke it before I did anyways.
  8. The detective is bound to declare any clues upon which he may happen to light. Jack is somewhat paranoid and will hide information he has if he sees it as a good idea.
  9. The stupid friend of the detective, the Watson, must not conceal from the reader any thoughts which pass through his mind; his intelligence must be slightly, but very slightly, below the average reader. Max Scarlett, the Watson in the Jack Blackwright stories is going to be smarter then the average reader.
  10. Twin brothers, and doubles generally, must not appear unless we have been duly prepared for them Yeah, that does seem a bit like a cop out.

Alright, I'm probably not going to break all of these rules, except the one about the supernatural because that's what I write, and the one about Asians because that is just plain racist. Anyways, just thought I'd tell you that.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Japanese Me

Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I was born in Japan.
I tend to hang out with anime and manga fans during Lunch and art. I'm not into that kind of stuff, but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be born into an alien culture. How much would it affect me? If I was born into a Japanese family, but with the basic structure of my family in take (My parent's would have the same job, I'd have the same siblings, I'd still believe that I was a cat for awhile during my early childhood). Would I still have discovered the same books? Would I have discovered somethings earlier or later? Would I be into things that I care nothing about at the moment? Would I have a bunch of records by Tomoyasu Hotei and the 5,6,7 and 8's? Would I be a fanatic Haruki Murakami fan, or would I be nuts about Yoshio Mishima?
How about the rest of my family? Would we be Christian, or would we be Buddhist? How would being a native Japanese affect my family? Would Spirte be one of those Harajuku people that Gwen Stafani has a thing for? Who am I kidding, of course she would be. According to Wikipedia, cuteness or Kawaii, is highly prized in Japanese pop culture. I don't see myself as being that into the whole Kawaii factor, though.
What about Delila? Would she be really into Yukio Mishima, or would he be to much for her, what with being a somewhat depresive homosexual with radical right-wing beliefs who commited ritual samurai in rejection of the Americans. No, I don't think she'd be like that. She might be a bit into Kawaii, but not completely. I'd probubly be into more into Mishima then anyone else, but I don't think I would be that into him.
To be honest I don't even know that much about Japanese culture. Here's a list of what I know about it.
  • It is a very ancient culture with time honored traditions, which has adjusted well to the modern world.
  • They've got really weird TV shows (live Tetris and Pacman), and toilets.
  • They have writers such as Yukio Mishima and Haruki Murakami
  • Cuteness is good
  • There technology kicks ass
  • They're one of the G7
  • There is a whole section that leads to everything one would need to know about Japanese culture on Wikipedia. I don't know anything about it, but it could be an interesting read.
I'm looking over Japanese subcultures now. Apparently during the 1960's, the youth revolution affected Nippon as well. This started a bunch of things called Zokus, which is Japanese for Tribe. I'd probubly have Zoku sympathies, especially the futen-zoku who are basically Japanese hippies.
Looking at all this stuff on Wikipedia, there dosn't seem to be many places where I could fit in Japanese culture. I'd probubly be reading alot of stuff I don't know about, but I still think I'd be reading the kind of stuff I'm reading now, i.e. The Beat Generation, The Master and Margarita.
On the subject of Aspergers Syndrome in Japan, they are aware of it. There's a place called "Asperger Society Friendly-Club." They'res also an Asperger Syndrome support group, but the information is in, surprise, Japanese. So I would have all the resources that I have now, just in Japanese. Since I would be Japanese, that wouldn't be a problem.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

There's a British Man in the Basement

So I got home from Art class and what should I see but a strange truck in the driveway. My dad's a plumber, but this was a different plumbing van. I enter the house and say "Hello?" and someone replied back in an accent I can't pick up "Hello." I go to investigate and there's this man hunched over in the corner. He says he's here to fix the water heater and I recognize a British accent. I say okay and go upstairs. Now I can't wash my hands for twenty minutes, although by now it's got to be fifteen.
In other news, Lost is on tonight. There on the season finale, which means there going to answer all those annoying questions about the island soon. Unfortunately, it means there's not going to be any new Lost episodes. This makes me sad, because Lost is a really good show and it's basically all I have going on Thursdays. Now all I've got is Heroes, so the narrative had better pick up because Season 2 was seriously lagging. I figure the thing to do is write a bunch of stories as a TV series of my own. I could set them up as a novel or something.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

My First Posted MSN conversation (My name isn't really David)

David says:
If I could I'd bring you a big box full of books
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
:)
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
if you could, i'd be happy
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
but for now i'll be happy with the thought of it
David says:
If I am able, then what books would you want?
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
heh, i could spend the next three straight days listing books i want dylan
David says:
Well, get down to that and I'll send you whichever ones I find
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
nah, you don't have to send me any books... that'd be horrendously expensive
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
thanks for the thought though
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hans and i are going to oslo next month, so i can pick up a few new books there, if all goes well
David says:
Okay, good luck
David says:
Maybe you could come over to Canada and we could go bookshopping here
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
that would be wonderful
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
maybe some day
David says:
Maybe when I have my own place
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
yep
David says:
You and Hans could come over and I could show you around whatever town I'm in, probubly Toronto
David says:
you and Hans can come over, buy a bunch of used books on the cheap, see the local sights and I'll make you pancakes and back-bacon,
David says:
We'll have a real canadian time
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hahaha
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
i may have to use that line one of these days
David says:
We can all drink beer, wear tooks and call each other "hozers"
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
wooo!
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
then after we've drank all the beer, we can walk through the streets singing O Canada even though i don't know the words
David says:
There I draw the line
David says:
I have a thing against National Anthems, all national anthems
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hehehe
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
don't blame you there
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
btw, i may have to post part of this convo on my blog... would you mind?
David says:
Oh, sure go ahead
David says:
Mind if I post this on my blog as well, I never posted a conversation before
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
nope, not at all
David says:
Great, I'm going to do it now
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
hehe
(Steph) "I'm going to wack you in the face with my very big stick!" says:
go for it

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The Long Road to University

Well, it's official, I am no longer taking the Internet Course.
It turns out that I don't have to take this course to get out of school, which was the only thing that was keeping me in it (and the chance to read 20'000 Leauges Under the Sea). However, the course was getting a bit annoying. The teacher was odviously swamped with paperwork so I could barely get my projects back, which I was behind on as it was. Also, the last project was going to take alot of work. I'd have to make a power point project on the literary history of a country or ethnic group, giving 4-6 examples of a major literary movement within them, 4-6 major authors from the chosen country/region/group, explain the style of the various movements, how they affected world literature and explain why I choose these praticular writers. It would have taken me way more time then I had. I have a copy printed of to do in my spare time.
It's at this time when I have quit my Internet Course that I would like to make a confession. I never completed the Mill on the Floss. There I said it and now there is nothing anyone can make me do about it. Ha ha. The book made me to angry, because it showed very cruel treatment to women. Towards the middle of the book I couldn't go two pages without completely going berserk. I'll write another post about it sometime, but not know.
And on the thing to University, we are not completely ruling out Conrad Grebel. You may remember it as the place where the lady didn't seem prepared to take me because of my Aspergers Syndrome. Well it turns out that they're still interested and may give me a single room. They could probubly help, but I need to figure out somekind of way for me to be of some use to there carefully planned society. So far all I've got is that I will give my various dorm-mates experience with autistic people, which is good since the population of autistic folks is growing. Anyways, I'm meeting with a friend later today who will help me put a spin on the interview.
And that's all I've got now.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Detective Fiction

The first Jack Blackwright story has been written. It's called "Godot is Dead" and is about the murder of an actor playing Godot in a sequel to Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot. It was based on an idea to write an existential murder mystery. Steph read it and it didn't make much sense to her. I think I came of as writing an absurdist murder mystery, which may just be most stories about Jack Blackwright. I'm also working on the first novel or novella.
I'm becoming more and more interested in the mystery genre. I've been reading various Sherlock Holmes stories, as well as picking up an anthology about detective duos. I read the one story about Nero Wolfe, whome I had only known as Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler's love-child in the Wold Newton Family. I am pretty sure that Nero Wolfe has Aspergers Syndrome. Because of this, I plan on making a closer look into detective fiction. I'm probubly going to make the two main novels in the Sixties Series based around Mysteries. I know the Summer of Love novel has a court case of somekind. Also, murder play a heavy role in the second novel.
Anyways, just thought I'd update you on where my writing is going.